I think I know who stole my bird feeder from my front yard. I have a feeling it was the same little
shit kid down the street who stole my Darlene Stringfellow for Alderman sign a few months ago (Heh. Darlene won). It matters not that this is not an expensive, fancy bird feeder, but, it matters cause I love to feed the little birds who trek into my yard and I just got the feeder a couple weeks ago.
This would be the same kid who last year, I drove into my driveway a few days before Christmas just in time to see him kicking down a Christmas display of my cross the street neighbor and friend. I took off down the street screaming at this kid in something reminiscent of Cheri Oteri’s "Rita Delvechhio" character on SNL. What made me even madder about said Little Shit’s destruction of the candy canes was the fact that the person to whom the display belonged had buried his grandmother the day before. I was livid. I’m sure I was quite the sight running down the street "Hey ya little punk…get back ovah heah!"
LS happened to be riding his bike past my house a couple weeks ago as I came out the front door and he immediately looked down to avoid making eye contact with me.
LS is headed straight for prison, I’m ‘fraid.