Archive for August 12th, 2007

Hug A Lifeguard

I forgot to brag on some other people who were present during “The Big KO of 07″ and were very helpful to us.

We think of lifeguards as being somewhat David Hasselhoffish and nothing more than eye candy at the pool or beach.  The guys and girls who spend their summers lifeguarding at our local YMCA definitely look like they could be on that show…dang, I can’t remember the name of the Hasselhoff show about lifeguards.  BAYWATCH! That’s it! Anyway….

Within seconds of me hollering at the people in line with their fingers up their noses to get a lifeguard, we were surrounded by a host of handsome hotties who, in spite of looking extremely hawt, were very professional, mature, full of mad lifeguarding skillz, and genuine care and concern for my kid.  It never ocurred to me to call 911, but, they took care of that. 

When the Holy Tara came to and saw she was surrounded by gorgeous guys, she started crying out of sheer embarrassment.  These guys were fantastic to us and I am very appreciative of how they handled the situation so I want to say here out loud for all to hear that we should all find a handsome lifeguard and hug them.  Our bunch looked somewhat like this bunch.

The Holy Tara Gets The Vapors

What was supposed to be an hour or so at the swimming pool yesterday stretched into a long-ass day. We left here a little before 12.  Got home about 7.  Pull up a chair, kiddies, it’s story time.

For those not in the Nashville area, it has been hot, I mean HOT this last week or so.  It has not been unusual for the thermometer to cross over 100.  I knew this was going to be the kinda day where I was in the water a lot more than usual.  It’s just hot.

All summer long, it’s been me and #2 doing the pool thing on the weekend.  My Teens are at that age where getting up early is getting up before 11.  Today, however, the Holy Tara wanted to come along.  The first time she’s been with us all summer. 

We get there, get settled in our chairs…HT hurls her usual “What are you looking at?” and eye rolling commences early on the expedition.  Ahhh….the thrill of a teenage daughter. It was so hot, I had gone and gotten in a few times and I kept telling HT she better get in the water.  “I don’t WANT to, ok?” (Insert eye roll and “GAH!”). 

The whistle blew at 12:50 for Adult Swim.  The Three Smiffs walk over to the “Skyview Diner” (a trailer with a concession stand in it) to get some food and beverage.  There was a woman in front of us who took FOR-EVER to get all her stuff.  She probably had 6 kids (homeschooled all, I’m sure) and it was going on and on.  The line was growing.  Dang, it’s hot and miserable, I remember thinking to myself. 

The HT said “Mom, I’m woozy” and started leaning on me.  Pshht.  The Drama Queen at it again.  “Yes, we’re all hot” said Mother Smiff in her best Carol Brady voice.  Then, the HT slapped me on the shoulder and I said “If you do that again (teeth clenched ala Biff) you will be grounded for months.”  She even went so far as to lay her head on my shoulder and put her arms around me.  This should’ve given me a clue that maybe she was serious.  She is really not into hugging her mother these days.  Thing is, I didn’t name her The Drama Queen for nothing.  She has cried wolf many a time and we’ve warned her about that.

We had finally gotten up to the window and the guy had gotten our drinks and I handed the HT her water and said “Why don’t you go sit down?”  She started to walk away and turned into rubber right there and went down. She fell back on her rear and sorta bounced and her head went back and smacked a tree. 

The people in line and all their little children were standing there, mouths open as if to say “Did we just see what we thought we saw?”  I said “Somebody get a lifeguard!” They started scrambling and I heard somebody say “This lady’s a doctor” and she was right there, then this other woman appears and said to the doctor “Get outta here, I’m a nurse!”  Heh.  The doctor lady never once said a word.  She knew it was not important to get into a power match there over the passed out kid.  I thought that was pretty cool of her. 

The YMCA people started gathering, getting wet towels, and just a flurry of activity.  The HT was surrounded by all these handsome, young YMCA lifeguards.  She was out for about 15 seconds, I guess.  It’s funny how when something like that happens, you DO just what they do in the movies.  I started patting  her check saying “Honey….wake up”. 

She came to and immediately started crying and I was relieved she knew her name and stuff.  She hit her head hard on that little tree.  That was what scared me the most.  I figured she had passed out from the heat and not having ate or drank anything before we got there.  She hit her head so hard and her neck popped back when she hit the thing, I was worried about that. 

It wasn’t long before we started hearing sirens.  The Y people had called 911 and the EMT’s were there.  At this point, she couldn’t get up and walk out of there.  She was still laying under the tree, dirty and this lady appeared with wipes cause she knew a girl that age would be mortified at laying there on the ground covered in dirt.  She started crying again, saying how sorry she was and I said “If anybody is sorry it’s me so quit it.”  We almost had a Wynonna and Naomi moment.  She was pretty thrilled with the fact they halted pool operations and two or three emergency vehicles responded to her plight. I’m really glad they called 911 cause there’s no way she could’ve walked (at that point) all the way to the front.  It’s a good distance from the front door of the Y to the pool in the back. 

So anyway, I went to check on the girl in the back of the amblance and #2, in his usual, caring and concerned way, said to the EMT’s “Hey…is there a tv on this thing?”  Good ol #2.  

I guess because of the nerves and heat, I started to feel a little icky, so I had to stop and sit in the lobby a minute.  One gruff, old codger paramedic was like “Aren’t you coming?”  I told him to simmah down, I needed a moment to collect myself.

I knew I wanted her head checked out and after horror stories I’ve heard from friends about Hendersonville Hospital, I told them to haul her downtown to Vanderbilt.  Hazel, who spent ten days at Vanderbilt this spring, said “They will poke you to death down there.  If they say you’re ok, you’re ok.”  This is true.

They gave her IV fluids, tested everything, including two EKG’s when the first one left them with a question. 

I bragged last year after the HT’s best friend was very ill and spent time in the Vanderbilt Children’s ICU and I will say again how fortunate we are here in Middle Tennessee to have such a wonderful facility as the Monroe Carell Children’s Hospital here.  They have a separate ER from the main hospital and everybody we came in contact there was just wonderful to HT, me and #2.  We were there for what seemed like hours, finally leaving about 6.

I never was afraid that something was morbidly wrong with my kid, but, she was pretty freaked out by the whole experience.  As usual when drama happens, Mr. Smiff was not here.  He was in Canada, of all places.  The cell service connection there is spotty at best so it was frustrating for me (and I’m sure him) to not be able to get him on the phone immediately.

I think the Holy Tara learned some things tara-in-hospital.jpgyesterday…one…when it’s hotter than hades out like it was yesterday, be good and hydrated so you don’t get Heat Exhaustion.  We were not out there a terribly long time before she was overcome.  It’s going to be hot again in these parts this week so everybody do what you need to do.

Two, one thing Tara said more than once is “I had no idea I’d end up riding in ambulance to the hospital when I got up today.”  She learned how quickly life can totally change in a split second.  She is fortunate that she was able to walk out of that hospital last night, knowing there are lots of kids in that same facility who weren’t able to say the same thing.

I learned that you don’t pronounce the word “Syncope” like “Sin-Kope.”  It’s Sin-co-pay.  That will go in my mental box for school. 

Today, the HT/DQ is doing fine although she has a spot of a headache.  I knew she was perking up when she started texting from the hospital bed. 

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