B-B-B-B-B-Buh Buh Bad…
We’re going to break from the Mom Is Sickly blog posts and I’m gonna tell a funny story.
I had a very brief career at the cable company recently. I can tell this now cause I don’t work there no more. I’m telling this story as a public service announcement. I’d like to think my brief trip into cable company hell was worth something.
Take it from me, if you choose to order “Adult Entertainment” on your Pay Per View, it’s like this…I’m not one to point fingers. I mean, I love Jesus but if you so desire to watch a buncha nekkid people romping around in the privacy of your own home, I have kin people who gave their lives so you can enjoy that. Have at it. It doesn’t bother me one iota. HOWEVER….do keep in mind that there is a spot on your account at the cable company that tells every single title you’ve ordered.
I was sitting out on the floor listening into calls while training. A call comes in from this young woman. She’s making some sorta change to the account and says “Hey by the way….how come my bill is so stinkin’ high?” (She didn’t use those words, of course). The rep looks into the account and tells her there’s some Pay Per View movies ordered. She claims over and over she didn’t order them and her husband is in the background (betchya a buck his name’s Bubba) and he’s saying “I don’t order porn!”
Yeah. Right.
One of the titles Bubba ordered was that classic “Bad To The Boner.” This poor girl is trying to convince the rep and herself that her perfect husband wouldn’t want to watch something called “Busty Cops On Patrol” even though the account plainly shows that this is not the first time he’s run up the cable bill buying porn on the Pay Per View.
Once I saw “Bad To The Boner” on the screen and heard this bozo trying to say he had no idea who ordered it, I broke into my infamous, pee in my pants, couldn’t-stop-if-I-tried giggling fit.
Of course, I see “Boner” and no, I don’t think of a male erection but that fabulous former Nashville Mayor Bill Boner (remind me to tell the story of how he tried to pick my friend up and pursued her relentlessly) and his harmonica. (Whatever happened to Traci Peel????? Good grief that was a moment in Nashville history that made me proud.)
Anyhoo…there’s this thing called “Parental Control”. You can use it to control husbands too, I reckon. Oh and if you think your charming, sweet little kid would have no way of figuring out how to order smut on Pay Per View, think again.
I had a call from a grandfather. His 9 year old grandson lived with him. He was on his way to pick the little darling up from school when he got his mail and had a HUGE bill. Why? The kid had ordered TONS of porn.
Now, I’d like to sit here and tell you my 10 year old son would NEVER attempt to order something of a smut nature if he knew he could. I also live in the real world and know if he had a chance to watch “Desperate Housewives In Bondage” he’d be ALL over that.
Paw Paw tries to convince me his grandson had “no idea” what he was doing. It was all I could do to not laugh.
And that is my Public Service Announcement for today. You’re welcome.
At least my ex owned up to it when he did it… Well, sorta. He tried to backtrack and say he didn’t even watch the whole movies. Which for me, just made it worse…. I told him, “oh, no…if YOU’RE gonna ORDER this stuff, you’d BEST be tapin’ it so you can watch it over and over and over again!!” Which during the divorce, going through things, I found that he’d done that and didn’t need my suggestion…. Sad little man.
You should try keeping a straight face when looking the mother/wife in denial in the eye when she starts angrily claiming that somehow the neighbors are tapping in to their cable box and ordering porn.
LOL… I grew up with Traci, she and her family were/are longtime communicants of my little church back home. I believe she’s still in Nashville tho I’m not positive of that. Her mama passed away several months ago, my mom went to pay her respects, I’m pretty sure she said Traci’s still in Nashville at the time. I’ll ask when she gets back from vacation.
Traci’s mama, Junior, was something else. Native American descent and you’d have never missed her in a room, a fine, wonderful lady tho in any case.
Well, a quick Google search and voila:
http://www.tentaraproperties.com/listman/homepages/traci-peel.html
She also used to do radio ads not too long ago for some outfit that took senior citizens to Tunica.
I can tell this now cause I don’t work there no more. I’m telling this story as a public service announcement.
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Jessica
Email Marketing Solutions