I’m so vain and I DO think this song is about me.

I’m out of my favorite lipstick shade and it’s totally making me feel like the ugliest creature on the planet. I feel nekkid and not quite right without my “Coffee Glaze.” I can’t find it anywhere. I do hope Maybelline has not stopped making this color. I’ve bought a “Coffee Toffee” and a “Coffee Gleam” but it’s lighter and when I pass by a mirror and see myself, I resemble a corpse. I also got another shade that looks like a close friend of Coffee Glaze, “Velvet Crush”. I was crushed at how ugly it is.

I’ve tried mixing my various coffee shade with my “Elegant Cognac” gloss. It only looks good the first time I put it on in the morning. If I redo it later in the day, I start to resemble Gloria Swanson in “Sunset Blvd.” SCARY! I am no Estee Lauder or Liz Arden fo sho.

I have never thought of myself as vain. I’m not afraid to go out in public without my makeup on. Ask Chris that works at the Hendersonville Kroger. He has seen me in just about every way. I’ve been in there fixed right nice after church on Sunday and early on Saturday mornings when I run out of my Hazelnut creamer. He still speaks to me after that and doesn’t pretend he doesn’t know me! I’m ok with the au naturel face look.

If, for some reason, the fine folks at Maybelline have decided Coffee Glaze needs to be retired. I don’t know what I’ll do. HELP!