Archive for April 27th, 2006

I Nominate For Mother of the Year…




The cute kids belong to Cousin Kelly down in Lafayette, LA.

Cousin Kelly had three babies in less than three years, is over 40, works full time and her husband, Joey, is currently working in Iraq. (Not military, but, working over there for a year). During all this baby making, Kelly also dealt with her mother’s illness and death from cancer.

They are so fond of giving people like Katie Couric and Kathie Lee Gifford “Mother of the Year” awards. Mother of the year???? Give me a break. Anybody who employs a nanny should automatically be disqualified from being on the receiving end of anything like that is what I say.

I myself have three children. The first two were 20 months apart, but, when I had them, I was in my early 20’s and stayed home all the time. It was easier having those two close together than the 5 years between #2 and #3. I don’t think I could do it at the ripe old age of 37.

Three kids is a big change from 2 kids, as having 2 kids is a totally different thing than having 1. I think after 4, it doesn’t make any difference. You have a housefull. These people that have these tribes of children on purpose is a mystery to me.

My grandmothers must not’ve known better or maybe they did. My one grandmother had 5 children and always regretted not having that 6th child. WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?! My other grandmother had 8 children…no Pampers, no microwaves…..no Prozac and other anti-depressants. How in the world did they make it?!?!

Put Your Sweet Lips A Little Closer To The Phone….


Sometimes, I’m just weird. I know this. I know I have some kinks in my personality and psyche that are hard for people to understand, especially me.

I used to have more moments like this when I was younger, but, praise God, they seem to get fewer and fewer as I get older. Moments when you do something, say something and you just feel so stupid later, kicking and hating yourself.

Mr. Smiff and the boys are recording their second cd. They have been looking for songs, which is not as easy as one might think. With a 6 guy band, pleasing everybody, plus the record company, etc. can get a little tricky. I should’ve been an A & R person or a songplugger…I love putting together songs with people and do it all the time, in my mind. I had the bright idea that they should ask Bill Anderson for some songs.

Whisperin’ Bill, as most know, is an amazing songwriter and his string of hits are about a mile long; “City Lights,” “Once A Day”,”When Two Worlds Collide” and the recently named CMA Song of the Year, “Whiskey Lullabye.” Ol’ Whisper’s still got it. He’s hip. He’s happenin.

I’ve known Bill off and on for many years, although I can’t claim to be a close, intimate friend of his. Now, he and my dad shared a nice friendship for many years so he knows me as part of the Biffer and now, as part of the Smiff’s. I doubt he’d recognize me if he saw me at, say, Wal Mart or the Kroger. If I were to say “Hey, Bill, I’m so and so”…he’d be like “Hey Sista Smiff! How are ya…blah blah” (It kinda sucks always being somebody’s daughter or wife and now somebody’s Mom. Most of the greater Hendersonville area somehow knows #2. Everytime we go out, somebody says hi to him and usually, I have no idea who they are)

Anyhow, so Bill and Mr. Smiff have been conversing this week and Bill has a cd for the boys to listen to. Yay. Mr. Smiff calls me this morning and says “Bill can come drop the cd off at your work since he’s down there right now. Call him, here’s his number.”

I can’t call Bill Anderson!! He’s…Whisperin’ Bill! He’s in the Nashville Songwriter’s Hall of Fame….he’s a member of the Grand Ole Opry, he’s been on Family Feud, he’s been on “One Life To Live”, he’s been on Tattle Tales! I’m too intimidated and skeered to call Bill Anderson. How lame am I? What is my issue with the phone?? I need therapy.

Mr. Smiff is laughing at me saying “Call him. He likes you.” I just couldn’t. As I said on my 100 Things, I am not much for phone calling no way, but, to call The Whispering One? I just couldn’t. Why in the name of Roy Acuff did Mr. Smiff not give Bill MY number? This went back and forth for about 5 minutes and I was nearly in tears. (I told you I’m odd) Finally, Mr. Smiff says “I’ll call him.” I could tell he was irritated at me.

I felt like such a retard. Kinda like the time when I was about 10 and Willie Nelson called Dad (they had a wife in common; not my mother) and he wanted to put me on the phone and I refused because, dang…it was Willie Nelson! One of those neat opportunities but you’re too nervous to jump at it. Kinda like Chris Farley telling Paul McCartney he wasn’t really dead. “IDIOT!”

Anyway, everything turned out ok. Bill came by my work, making Betty, the Security Guy’s day, and a few others. I had gotten a phone call a little after I returned from picking the package up and this woman says “I saw Bill Anderson downstairs!” Heh. Yeah, me too.

Bill is cool.