Archive for May, 2006

More You Tube Fun

All the Sesame Street talk yesterday got me nostalgic and I wanted to see if there were videos from two of my other most favoritest kid shows.

I hit the jackpot.

I always dug th-is this.

I wish they had the one that had “It’s the plummah and I’ve come to fix the sink!”

I think this show is why I learned to read, well, when I was 4. I was such a good reader, in first grade they sent me to second grade for reading class. I quit when Mrs. Massey told me if I was too shy to read out loud (in front of the big 2nd graders) I shouldn’t be there. So, for the embarrassment she caused me, I never went back. Seems to be the story of my life.

Wish I could find some clips of “Zoom.” Now THERE was a show. I wanted nothing more than to be a Zoom kid and have the rugby shirt and make paper mache.

Birthday Girl

Happy Birthday today to the mutha of mothers in law. She’s also seeing Keith Urban on the side. (Don’t tell Nicole. That might start a catfight.)  Posted by Picasa

Can You Tell Me How To Get…

Boy, this’ll make your Monday/Tuesday morning after a long weekend. Ivy, the Good and Wonderful has hooked us up with some classic Sesame Street clips.

One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life is Kermit with teeth. For some reason, that sends me into uncontrollable giggling.

I’ve always been partial to The Martians too and can do a rip-roaring imitation of them.

I always liked it, too, when Grover was doing that waiter gig.

Ernie and Bert….well, they are just the best.

And anytime the Man In Black showed up at 123 Sesame Street, it was a good day.

I wish they had the clip with the chef falling down the stairs.

How I love You Tube!

Does Barry Manilow Know You Raided His Wardrobe?

Paul Gleason died over the weekend from cancer. Those of us who were teens in the 80’s know him as the crabby principal in The Breakfast Club. A great character actor, I also loved him in Trading Places.

If you would like to see The Grascals perform here…

If you would like to see The Grascals perform here in Nashville, one opportunity you’ll have will be July 6 at the Ryman Auditorium for Martha White Bluegrass Night. Tickets are on sale here now.

I bet the tickets will go fairly quickly cause some guy named Vince is closing for them.

In The Cool, Cool, Cool of the Evening….

Praise the Lord and pass the Freon. We have Air Conditioning at the Smiff House again! Seems the ol A/C had frozen up. I hated to have to shuck out $230 to have it fixed, but, at the same time, it was worth every penny.

Having no air conditioner for a number of days will cause one to lose their sense of humor and it also doesn’t make for a good hair day. I had to go out to the car this morning, after I had dried my hair, to turn the car on to cool off a minute.

In theory, I should wait a long time until I complain about being too cold again, but, chances are, within 24 hours, I will complain about something. Air conditioning is one of those things we most definitely take for granted. I know there are people starving in China and all that, but, Sista Smiff needs her air conditioning. I don’t require much in terms of material things (save getting my nails done) but I am spoiled in the realm of being too cold or too warm.

Mr. Smiff has returned home to the bosom of his family, safe and sound. He had something of a dazed, road weary look on his face upon his arrival. Everybody’s glad to have him back although he will have to be in the studio tomorrow. No matter….I’m parking it at the Y swimming pool, hoping that the pregnant woman won’t be there because she has delivered.

Heroes Proved

Just about everybody has somebody (s) in their family that made the ultimate sacrifice for our security and freedom and my bunch is no exception.

These four boys in this old newspaper clipping from The Alexandria Town Talk in 1944 are my uncles, my mom’s brothers. The article was praising the brothers for all serving overseas at the same time. How my poor grandmother slept a wink during this period, I do not know. I look at this and am just floored with how young they were, not hardly the middle aged and older men I have known.

I only knew three of them, though, because the first one on the left did not make it back from his tour of duty. He was a gunner in the Air Force and was shot down over Italy in 1944, pretty close to his 25th birthday.

The second one on the left is the only one still living. He is 84 and still travels to the get togethers his unit has. I’ve never heard him speak of his experiences in the war, which is pretty typical of war vets. He is in possession of the Purple Heart, though, which he received for his injuries. He still has shrapnel in his head.

The one on the far right suffered emotionally due to his experiences. I’ve always said that three of my uncles survived physically, but, one did not survive emotionally. The military must not have had any resources to help these young guys cope with what they saw and experienced because like a lot of other veterans, he used the bottle to numb his pain, as a result, losing his wife and young boys, never to be part of their lives again.

While I hate war and know the cost pretty close up, I also know that anything worth having is costly. Our family sacrificed much, but, I doubt, if my uncles could talk to us and if the living one would be willing to talk about it, (most of them don’t talk about the war) that they would have done it any different.

O beautiful for heroes proved In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved and mercy more than life!
America! America! May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness And every gain divine!


I have a word to say to the woman at the swimming pool today who was wearing a string bikini and is approximately 13 months pregnant: That is just plain WRONG.

This woman has a nice figure and it wasn’t her stomach that was obscene. It was her mammary glands, which I know are getting primed and ready, but, the rest of us do not need to see that your top barely covered them.

I’ve been pregnant three times. I don’t have issues with a pregnant body, although I’m not of this mind that women are at the most beee-yootiful when they are in that condition. I think we have that dang “A Baby Story” to blame for crap like this. This woman was not pretty and she should be severely punished for doing what she did. Thank goodness, I didn’t see “Old Guy Wearing A Speedo” today. That’s something else that should be against the law. The only people that look good wearing Speedos are Olympic swimmers. Got it guys? DO NOT WEAR A SPEEDO even if you do have a six pack. Just don’t.

The Muffia’s are staking their claim on the pool already. They were out in full force. I’m sure they noticed I didn’t do such a great job shaving my legs. I only do in the winter what I have to get by with, but, that doesn’t work so well once swimming pool season gets here. I thought I did a good job but apparently, my eyes are failing me.

And as I predicted, the pool had to shut down about 5 minutes after we left for it’s first Kid Crap today. I’m really glad my children are potty trained. I would be so embarrassed if my kid was the reason the pool had to shut down on the first day it’s open for the season.

As you can see, I’ve been messing around with my b…

As you can see, I’ve been messing around with my blog template. I tried to do something a little more new fangled and unique, but, I still live in the 50’s.

I’ve changed my photograph. I thought perhaps it was time for a more updated photo. The Brownie photo of me from before, while extremely cute in it’s 1970’s way, has run its course. I was only a Brownie for about 5 minutes anyway. I did, however, return to Brownies when I found out they were putting on a puppet show. Show business has always been my life.

I’m holding my new digital camera in the photo. I’m not sure how many megapixels it has, but, it is a nice fashion accessory.

The things having no air conditioning will make one do….mess with your blog template at 2 a.m. because it’s to effin hot to sleep.

School’s Out

I know it’s officially summer, even though the calendar doesn’t say that it is. You know how I know? I’ve told #2, about 15 times this morning (it’s not even 11 yet) to make up his mind if he’s going to stay in or out. He’s opened the back door, gone outside, come back in 2 minutes later a few too many times and it’s getting on my nerves.

Put that on the list of “Scary Things I Hear Myself Saying, That I Never Dreamed I’d Hear Myself Say” list.

Random ADD Thoughts and a Song For You

I’ve tried to talk to Mr. Smiff 14 times today and everytime, it’s broken up and I hear the last word of every sentence he says.

The Hendersonville Utility District has this thing where they expect to be paid for use of their services. The Smiff’s neglected to pay the bill and guess what happened? I got home and there was no water in the schpicketsch. I rushed over to the water company and I got there at 4:56. They close at 5. This is a good thing. Mr. Smiff was probably happy the cell phone service in Branson is so crappy. I’ve been such a joy for him to talk to on the phone while he’s away the last couple days anyway. Heh. I’m also glad #1 Son knows how to cut the water back on out in the yard.

I’ve never been to a funeral home visitation with a husband/wife casket until tonight. I’ve also never seen a funeral home so packed with people as the Hendersonville Funeral Home was this evening. Charlie, Billy and Bettie had a lot of friends. That sorta screams volumes about what kind of people they were.

Whoa boy…Lisa Patton’s getting all hyper and excited cause a starm is coming. Have you ever noticed how spastic she gets when it gets nasty out? God love her heart….Wait…shes one of them homeschoolers and I’m agin those. That’s probably why she’s so nervous. Wrangling those kids all day and then going to work to tell us what the weather’s doing.

I’m kinda partial to Ron Howes when it comes to starm predicting. I think you need an air of calmness, yet, in control. Maybe Ron’s wig is what keeps him so calm. Would be horrible if he pulled a Pat Boone and knocked that sucker off in the middle of telling us that a funnel could has been spotted in Big Sandy and that we are under the gun and we need to batten down the hatches. Actually, I’ve never heard Ron say either of those phrases, but, Lisa likes them. I think Ron has a policy that he doesn’t say any cliched phrases on air. I also bet Ron has no sense of humor off camera and I bet Lisa appreciates the value of a good, dirty joke now and then.

My air conditioner is not working good. Of course, this couldn’t have happened when we had the coolest May on record, no sirreee…had to wait til it hit 90 degrees.

Today was the last day of school in Sumner County. Oddly enough, two of the kids were a little down. The Dawta was sad because a friend of hers is moving to Brentwood and she’s afraid she’ll never see her again.

Best I can gather, #2 is sad because he will not be in Mrs. Smith’s class anymore. #2 is ADHD and has a hard time expressing himself. You have to really dig to get any kind of details out of him. He was very weepy tonight and Mrs. Smith told me earlier she didn’t think he felt good today. I think somewhere in his mind, the reality hit that he’s moving on to third grade. Hoping and praying his third grade teacher is as patient as Mrs. Smith has been and will get him.

I don’t have the slightest idea where #2 got his ADD from.

#1 made the highest grade in his math class on the exam today and aced all of his others. I did not see him once look at a study guide or open a book. He’s a freak.

Here’s you a song for a stormy night. This is so good, it’ll make you want to slap your mama. Don’t do that, but, you’ll want to after you hear this. Linda, Dolly and Emmylou…if you don’t think this is pretty…well, I can’t hep you.

“My Blue Tears” – Linda Ronstadt:

Grassland Grill-RIP

I hate to see that the Grassland Grill is closing. The Grill has been part of the Grassland area since 1992. I watched that establishment from the very beginning days start as a little sandwich shop and grow into a thriving business. Seems business isn’t what it was and I can’t help but think the change in ownership probably had something to do with it. I’m not knocking the current owners…I’m just a little partial to the founder, one E. Darrin Kirby. (I’m so glad I have an excuse to write about one of my favorite families in the world!!)

Darrin is kinda like a brother to my sister and me. Our families met back in 1971 or 72 when we all attended Grassland Heights Baptist Church. Darrin was a year behind me in school but we were born the same year. We spent many a Sunday night after church at their house or our house. Some Sunday nights, we’d all go to Shoney’s and at the infamous “Kids Table” we were known to doctor up glasses of water with ketchup, mustard, whatever condiments were handy….yes, we were delightful and I’m sure we thought were sooo original.

Friday nights, we ate with them at Bonanza for many years (Look Daddy! There’s a monkey!” Inside joke) I have a rather large closet of Darrin Kirby stories that I could probably make some extortion money from and he, no doubt, has a tale or two to tell on me. Oh gosh, I know he does. He probably has way more on me than I do him.

Darrin’s dad became one of my dad’s very closest and dearest friends. He’s something of a surrogate dad to me now, although I don’t see him near as often as I would like. Every now and then, my phone will ring and it will be Dean Kirby calling with a question about a song or a memory of something…out of the blue. I love it when that happens.

The rest of the family…sisters Debby and Karen….they’re all hysterical people and they have a slew of friends that are some hysterical people. In fact, my subtitle of this here blog is not something I made up….that “honor” goes to Lisa Underwood.

Anytime I heard anybody mention the Grill, I always had a snort of pride because Darrin worked really hard to build that business and he succeeded. Whoda thunk the same kid who get his groove on and shake it to the Commodores like he did could be a bidnessman?!??!!?

He sold it a year or so ago, after all those years of working such long hours. He did that because he is now a husband and father and didn’t want to miss anything with his little girl. I’m sure he missed the Grill, but, really, I think he made the right choice.

Darrin’s daddy owned the Texaco station there in Grassland for many years and his older brother, Mitch, owns and operates it today. That bunch knows everybody in the area and most of Franklin. I know when anything goes on or I hear of this or that in the Grassland/Franklin area, I can call their mother, Judi, or “Gee” as she has become known to most, and she or Dean can fill me in on what’s happening.

I could probably do a hundred posts about this bunch of people and I will have to make it a point to do a Dean Kirby post before long. He is truly one of the funniest people in the human race.

One of the things about Darrin….we didn’t hang out when we were teenagers. He was cool and I…wasn’t…and I see him maybe once every couple years but to give you an idea how silly I am about him….the day I got married….I was cool as a cucumber, not nervous or emotional or nothing. I was ready to be Mrs. Smiff and get on with it all.

I’m sitting in the little bride room at the church before the wedding commenced and had a few minutes where I was sitting in there by myself. I was just sitting there, twiddling my thumbs and the door opens and Darrin peeked his head in. I don’t remember what he said, but, it caused me to burst into tears. It was just a neat little moment we had that I’ve never forgotten.

I’m glad Darrin gave up the Grill to be a devoted husband and dad. Maybe some of these days he’ll fire it up again. He sho can make some good cheeseburgers.

I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry

Criminy…I’m up to what, 3 posts today? I guess I’m going to have to just admit it here and ya’ll have to promise not to tell, because it will destroy my reputation as the independent, Musician Widow….I miss Mr. Smiff.

Now, it’s not his handyman abilities I’m missing and it’s certainly not watching him switch channels back and forth betwixt the NBA playoffs and Andy Griffith (WWF Wrestling if I’m really lucky and it’s Monday night!!) and all his middle aged persnicketyness….not missing that he can’t see diddly squat without his drugstore glasses, his bringing me breakfast in bed or that morning cup of coffee he always has waiting for me as I rise to meet the day….nah…I just miss his Smiffness.

Thing about it is, I get in a rythym when he’s gone on these long trips. I have my own method of channel changing that I think is superior to his (he would argue this point til the cows come that I don’t know how to channel surf. I guess he should know, for he IS the champion at that) and when he gets back, I have to totally adjust the shedyool and routine and get used to him being back.

I’m tired of refereeing kid arguments alone. The latest one is why Taylor shouldn’t have won American Idol, according to the Dawta, and dealing with her bad mood as a result of his win. Dealing with the fact that #2 was the only kid in his class who didn’t wear his class tshirt today for their end of the year pizza shindig. (I didn’t see the note saying to wear it til, oh, about 3 minutes before the bus came this morning and I had NO idear where the thing was) I told him to tell Mrs. Smith that “Mother has officially lost her mind and needs some sort of prescription” is why he didn’t wear his shirt.

Just like when one of the kids is missing, it’s not the same around here, it’s not the same when Mr. Smiff is gone more than 3 days at a time. It’s too long and too hard on everybody.

I do have to look forward to, this weekend, that the swimming pool opens up. I will be there bright and early to meet the 10:0 sun and I’m sure Tim Lee will be there. I think I will get me a new swimsuit and I’ve been sweating and sweating what kind I’ll get. Beings I’m a Christian woman, I think modesty is most imortant, thus, I will be getting this swimsuit for the upcoming season.

Who’d have thought Pentecostal Swimwear could be so….fasionable?!?!? Nothing like taking a dip on a hot day in your culotte-styled suit!!? I will be the envy of all the muffias this summer.


I’m tired of being sad and nostalgic. I think it’s high time we all laugh so hard, we wet our pants. Everybody ready? Let’s go!

Life Is Fragile

I was about to do a whiny, ranting and raving post about how mad I am that some of the other families in the Grascals made the trip to Silver Dollar City this week. I’m mad cause the Smiffs didn’t get to go due to final exams for the middle schoolers. I was really upset about the whole thing and was on a good roll of feeling sorry for myself and how I don’t get to go anywhere, do anything, etc.

Then I got a comment from the marketing manager of the Palm Lake Opry in Foley, AL. The Palm Lake Opry is where Billy Walker played last Saturday night before he, his band, wife and grandson were involved in the horrible accident that killed 4 and has left the grandson fighting for his life. They have a photo up of the last performance Saturday night.

Bassist Charlie Lilly is somebody Mr. Smiff liked a lot and his son, Aaron, is the same age as our oldest son and they have some classes together. Charlie’s parents had lost two other sons before his death last weekend. The Lilly’s also attended the same church where we used to go and where #1 still goes.

Danny Patton was engaged to be married and is the father of three children.

That rant I was going to do about how I didn’t get to go ride roller coasters is not really so important anymore. I bet Karen Lilly would switch places with me in a heartbeat about now.

Keep the Walkers, Lilly’s and Pattons all in your prayers.