Archive for June 17th, 2006

Hendersonville Public Access TV

We have some crappy Public Access television out here in Hendersonville. They run the City Council meetings about 23 hours a day. The other couple hours they play elevator music (you have not lived until you’ve heard “Devil Woman” in this wonderful genre) and run what appears to be a Power Point slide of advertisements of upcoming happenings in the community, churches, etc and they run a church service or two. Typical boring Public Access. They don’t even run the time and temp on there. They also keep the volume on this channel so loud it could probably cause you to lose your hearing.

There is, however, one highly entertaining show they run a lot and that is the gripping 30 minutes they allow this older gentleman named Wayne Joiner to have a half hour all his own. Recorded in his basement, Bro. Joiner appears to be a preacher of some sort. I don’t know what church he aligns himself with but I do know whatever it is, it is not a group that believes in the Trinity. Ol’ Wayne gets pretty heated on there fussing at those of us who believe in the Trinity, me oh my….he doesn’t like it not one bit.

The best part about the Wayne Joiner Show is the fact that he has these little Kewpie-lookin’ dolls he uses to help all us heathens (who believe in the Trinity) understand the difference between Jesus and the Trinity. The Kewpie Jesus is dressed in white, while the Trinity is a Kewpie dressed in black, signifying the obvious, that it is bad…bad, I tell you.

Bro. Joiner also has a rather interesting wardrobe. Sometimes, he dresses down in just a plain, Western like shirt but then, there are times, he dresses up in a dressy western shirt with a bolo tie. On extry special occasions, he’ll get really dressy and wear his white cowboy hat and a dress up white sportcoat (no pink carnation) over his black, dress up western shirt. Bro. J is one stylin’ man as well as very suave and seasoned at the whole tv thing. At the end of the program, he gets up from his little desk, goes around and in the mirror on the wall, you see him cutting his camera off. It’s great. I’m really surprised the TBN folks haven’t picked up on Wayne and had him on with Jan Crouch and her Barbie dolls.

If you aren’t blessed enough to live in the Hendersonville area, get one of your friends to tape him for you. Maybe someday, the world will be blessed and he’ll go syndicated. It’s truly one of Hendersonville’s best kept secrets. How I wish I had a photo to share with you. Use your imaginations.

Maybe….just maybe….what Hendersonville Public Access Television needs is the Sista Smiff hour!!!

A Saturday Morning Funny

#2 has just told me the silliest joke. It goes like this:

Why is the toliet paper all over the floor?

To get to the bottom! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA

Must be that fine programming on Cartoon Network and Nick at it again.