I sneeze a lot. Allergies. I’m usually a three sneezer. When I sneeze in the presence of Mr. Smiff, he counts along with me in my sneezes. After 17 years of hearing me sneeze, he knows the pattern well. Sometimes I throw him and do 5 or 7.

Today is 5-7 sneeze kinda day. I woke up sneezing and I suppose I will go to sleep sneezing. My eyes are even swollen which makes for my usual, lovely visage being even lovlier. I had to take a Benadryl and while usually they don’t make me too sleepy, today, it’s making me nearly incoherent to speak to. I can’t imagine what I’d be like if I took REAL drugs or partook in alcohol regularly. (My Shishter has has seen the intoxicated Sista Smiff and will tell you, it ain’t purty)

So I’m sneezing left and right all morning and my co-workers are “God blessin” me left and right. I NEVER say “bless you” to somebody when they sneeze. Does this make me selfish? Unrighteous? Un-neighborly? Ungodly? It’s not that I don’t care that my neighbor has a spot of hay fever, I just don’t feel like I (or they) need to bless each other everytime we “Kachoo.”

My 8th grade English teacher at what was then Northside Jr. High, one Miss Schwemer, NEVER missed a “Guzunteit” when a kid sneezed. Some days, she guzunhited the whole day. That woman had the LOUDEST snap ever. She’d snap her finger at you if you got out of line and the snap was loud and scary.

Am I wrawng to be anti-Bless You-er?

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