Archive for September 15th, 2006

A Little Slow To Catch On, But, I’m Learning…

I’ve learned a coupla interesting things this week:

Did you know there is a girl at my daughter’s middle school who is, like the Queen of Bubble Letters? She can make them so good, she charges kids a buck to draw them on their notebooks.
#1 Son has a future in comedy writing. He and his buddy started this little write-fest this morning. Now, don’t nobody get all “That’s racist” on me. I think it’s extremely clever and it made me laugh out loud. But this is the “Tyler and Austin Method of Learning Chinese in Five Minutes”: (He says you must read out loud or you won’t get it.”

That’s not right=Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?=Hu Yu Hai Din

See me ASAP=Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man=Dum Fuk

Small Horse=Tai Ni Po Ni

Did You Go To The Beach?=Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table=Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

I think you need a face lift=Chin Tu Fat

It’s Very Dark In Here=Wao So Dim

I thought you were on a diet=Wai Yu Muc Ching

This is a tow away zone= No Pah King

Staying out of sight=Lei Ying Lo

He’s cleaning his automobile=Wa Shin Ka

Your body odor is offensive=Yu Stin Ki Pu

Great=Fa King Su Pah

What’s Up=Wa Sa Pen Ing

I laughed so hard. It’s so dang funny, I asked him repeatedly, before I posted, if they stole this from somewhere. He better not be lying about that. If it turns out they plagerized this, it’s still funny, I don’t care who ya are.

Something else, you know I’ve been watching this free dvd of the first season of Grey’s Anatomy and as bad as I hate to admit this, I am hooked. My friend Chris will be so happy.
We can count Patrick Dempsey on my list of men I would kiss right on the mouth if I were in the same room with them, even if Mr. Smiff were standing there.

Shame On You, Gretchen

Gretchen Wilson has this nice, new six pack and I don’t mean beer. She has this wonderful washboard stomach now and in her latest video, she’s letting the world see it.

I saw Gretchen on some interview show last week and they asked her about her trimmer figure and cool abs and she sat there on national television claiming she had not done anything to get those abs. She tried to convince me she woke up one day and there they were. The Ab Fairy came during the night and blessed her with this gorgeous stomach. Does Gretchen think we are retards?? That is a lie of Naomi Judd proportions.

The thing that got me about it is she claimed that the new abs came from “busy-ness”. Now, if Busy-ness were the cause of a washboard stomach, me and Busy Mom would be centerfolds for a body building magazine.

Is Gretchen afraid her redneck fans would accuse her of selling out if she said “I have a trainer?” Hell. That right there doesn’t endear you to the female fans, who buy all the music. Gretchen could relate to them more if she’d just admit, “I have to work at this like everybody else.” You can’t convince me any woman that has had a child has Six Pack abs without doing a jillion crunches a day and staying away from certain foods. That insults my feminine intelligence.

Tanya Tucker, back when she had a drop dead figya, tried to make the same claim that she had good genetics and didn’t do anything to stay fit. Heh. Obviously, that was not the case.

I’d say most women, past a certain age, post childbearing, have to work really, really hard to maintain the figure. Martina McBride is one of the rare exceptions, but, she is so scrawny (have you ever seen her little bony arms and legs?) as are the Mandrell Sisters. If you’ve ever seen one of them in person, you know they’re like little rats, they’re so scrawny. TV has always made them look voluptuous and curvy, but, trust me, they ain’t.

Speaking of Tanya Tucker, are they going to bring Tuckerville back? I love that show. Not as much as I love Rabbi Shmuley and the Little People, though.