Archive for October 20th, 2006

I’ll Tumble For Ya

Like our Uncle Hutch, George Jones has fallen and couldn’t get up.  Apparently, he fell and broke his wrist and will need surgery.

Keith is still fighting addiction.  Wonder if Nicole would rather have an addict to deal with or a nut that jumps on couches?

Meanwhile, totally random and unrelated, see if you recognize this little feller

Make The World Go Away

I got this letter from the wonderful State of Tennessee today.  I applied online with the Volunteer State and this sweet little greeting says "Hey Sista…you’ve been admitted to the written examination. Woo hoo!"  Ok, maybe they didn’t use those exact words, but, this love note tells me where to go, when, blah, blah.

The thought of testing gives me hives and when I think too hard about where I’m going to end up, I get really teary and ninny baby- like thinking "I don’t want to go somewhere new" and I go into this funk like I have this afternoon. 

Somebody tell me that I’m not nuts and this is all kinda normal when you’ve been laid off and are facing change.  I would’ve thought I’d handle this not working better, but, it makes my head do really weird things. I have faith that everything is going to work out just fine, but, there are those moments, like today, where something in me panics and wants to run away.

Mama, I Have A Brain TOO-mah

Funny thing that Kat is telling about her friend’s journey with Optifast.  I myself have a weight related story to tell today. Sandra___todd_ryan_wedding

About a week ago, I was talking with my sister on the Yahoo Instant Messenger and she says.."If I tell you something, do you promise you won’t tell Mom?"  My first thought, no kidding, was "Oh no…she has cancer or something."  I told her I wouldn’t tell our Glass-Is-Half-Empty Mother whatever her earth shattering secret was.

My sister is of the mind to not tell some things out of "protection."  She and the Mother are the same that way.  I’m just gonna say, I don’t agree with that mindset at all before I continue any further to prove the point how hard it was for me not to tell.  I think when it comes to matters of health, holding stuff back protects nobody, but, that’s just me. 

Anyway, this was last Thursday, October 12.  She says "I had gastric bypass surgery on September 19."  I couldn’t believe she had had something that big done and didn’t tell.  If I’d have wanted to keep a secret that big, there’s no way I would’ve been able to. I’d have been scared I’d die on the table, but, that’s just how I do.   

She really didn’t want our mother to find out because she didn’t want her to worry. She wanted to recover from the surgery and then come to Nashville and tell her in person so she could see that she was doing well and everything was cool. 

If you look up the word "negative" in the dictionary, you will find our mother’s picture.  Her first response to EVERYTHING is negative.  Doesn’t matter what it is. You could say "Mom…I just won the 100 billion dollar Powerball" and she’d say "You don’t have no business gambling."

I’ve told y’all about the time I went to Atlanta and she warned me to be careful of all those Lesbians in Atlanta.  Still have NO clue what that was about.  Our mother fears everything in life, just about.  I laugh about her negativity and make jokes about it and stuff but  just between me and you, only in recent times have I been able to realize that I don’t have to be scared of every little thing like she ingrained in me.  For a long time after I was an adult, and sometimes still, I hear her negative "You better not try that..you might fail" tone in my head.  She can’t help it. I’m sure her mother was that way.  She doesn’t know any other way.  I hope I’m breaking the cycle cause it sucks.  I want my kids, especially my daughter, to feel like they can accomplish anything they set their mind to, because they can.   

Another thing about the Sister not telling anybody about her plans to have this operation is people have very definite opinions about this procedure.  A lot of people would’ve tried to talk her out of it.  I like to think I wouldn’t have.  It is a serious and rather drastic procedure. She was beginning to have some health problems directly associated with her weight.  I think she had it in her to take the weight off herself without having to have a new stomach made, but, then again, I’ve not walked in her shoes. Only she knows what she’s been through internally. 

  I’ve battled weight issues, but, not on the level she has.  All I need to do is get my ass in gear and get back to running a 3-5 miles a few times a week and lay off the cheeseburgers, oh and remember to take my thyroid pill and I could probably lose 30 lbs. Weight doesn’t seem to want to come off as easily now as it used to, which sucks. The  sister and I have totally different builds as well.  She is a good bit taller than me, larger framed…it’s been a different journey  for her than me. 

So, the Sister decided she would come to Nashville earlier this week to tell our mom that she had this procedure done.  When she first told me about the procedure, she had already lost 25 lbs. She did add that the initial couple weeks after the surgery is bloody hell.  She’s had two C-sections and those were nothing compared to this.  They put drains in you and all you can eat is broth and stuff.  Some think this is the easy way out in terms of losing a lot of weight, but, the stuff she’s described to me doesn’t sound easy.

The Sister and her family came Tuesday night and she wanted us to meet at Mom’s about 6.  Mom thought it odd that they were coming to town, on a weeknight and only coming to town for a couple hours.  I knew at this point but had to play along like "I have no idea what they’re up to."  Poor Mom even said "Maybe Todd’s got a job interview here or they’re going to move back here!"  Uh…no.

So the Knoxvillians pull up to the house and out of the car pops my sister, who has now lost 35 lbs.  They came in the house, hem hawed a few minutes and the Sister says "I have something to tell you…I’ve gotten a tattoo." Mom, who will be 72 in December and totally out of touch with tattoo culture, was saying "Oh Lord."  She was so convincing on that tattoo thing, I thought for a minute maybe she got her something sassy tattooed as well as the new stomach.   She takes Mom in the other room, lifts her shirt and on her back it says:

       "No tattoo, Mom.  But I did have gastric bypass surgery."

Mom read the "tattoo" out loud, threw her hands over her mouth in total surprise and then said  "Are you hungry?"  Then she said how dangerous it was (shocker).  She asked her a ton of questions, but, ultimately, was ok and even said "I’m glad you had it done."  It was kinda like in Steel Magnolias when Clairee tells about how her nephew told his parents he was gay…"Mom and Dad…I have a brain TOO-mah.  Hey folks…I’m only kidding.  I’m just gay."

So, everybody was ok with it.  Everybody’s happy…Even #2 is into it. He asked me last night "So, is Sandra going to get shorter now that she’s had that operation?"