Archive for November 24th, 2006

The First Annual Whiff of Smiff’s Wonderfully Awful Wacky World of Christmas

Ah, the Wonderful World of Christmas…the title is taken directly from Mr. Smiff.  That is his description of his Uncle Daniel Boone’s (yes, that’s his real name) Christmas display.  The same Uncle Daniel Boone who used to call Christmas Eve to offer us some Christmas Cheer (after dipping into the Cheer hisself) and sing "Jump in the bed and cover up ya head ’cause Santy Claus comes too-naaat."  You haven’t lived til you’ve been serenaded by a happy, jolly Daniel.  It makes life worth living.

Your Sista is on the lookout for wacky, tacky and any light display that would make Clark W. Griswold envious.   Why, right here in my own backyard in Hendersonville, we have mucho lightos. I was surprised to see, driving around this evening how my fellow Hendersonvillians were busy little bees putting them lights up today.

I can’t think of a better place to begin the Wonderful, Wacky Christmas Tour than with the grandaddy of all tacky light displays in this part of town….Forget the House of Cash, we’ve got the House of Trash, deep in the heart of Hendersonville.  And we’re so proud.

I can’t help but think Conway Twitty turns flips in his grave every year about this time when the switch is pulled at the place he called home.  I mean, yeah, Conway first lit up what is now known as Trinity City, USA, but, at least he had real, live reindeer. Thanksgiving_2006_046_3I long for the days Conway would wish us a "Merry Twismas" everytime I pass TBN all lit up in its splendor.   Paul and Jan Crouch have no live reindeer at this display, no siree.  It’s all about the baby Jesus in the manger here.

Everybody knows I love Jesus. I’m not knocking keeping Christ in Christmas, in fact, I think we need a little more of Him in the middle of everything.  If this complex had any other names besides Paul, King of the Closet Homosackshul Preacher and Jan, Queen of the Pink Hair, attached to it, I wouldn’t even as much as giggle. 

Heck, I’d find it more believable if it was Sarcastro’s channel, complete with him handling snakes and speaking in tongues, but, I digress.  Thanksgiving_2006_045   

I hear that the Holiday Grinch is copying this idea for his/her house.

Thanksgiving_2006_047 This MUST be what Heaven looks like.

And just think, even YOU can go see this in person.  Take I-65 North…take the Vietnam Veterans Bypass…lucky you, there are signs along the way.  Take the Indian Lake Blvd. exit.  Turn right…go about 2 miles to East Main.  Turn left.  Go a mile or two down the road, where it turns into Johnny Cash Pkwy…and well, you can’t miss it unless you are blind.

Stay tuned for more. Hee.  Do shoot me an email if you know if some wonderfully awful decorations.

The Folks

You saw the vittles we ate yesterday, now see who all ate it.

My siPicture_215ster, Gastrica, Baroness of all things Bariatric (who has thus far, shed 50 lbs) shows us her teensy plate.  This was pretty much the first real food she’s had since she went to sleep and woke up with two stomachs. 

Picture_217 The Flipster himself loads up his plate…funny thing about Chet…this is the third Thanksgiving he’s been with us and he is probably the quietest person in the house.  This is a man who traveled with the Rolling Stones and been in the company of many a musical genius, but, really, looks like and has the demeanor of somebody’s sweet little Paw Paw. He laughs a lot and loves to hear good stories about, say, Opry sidemen absconding with "Special Reserved" parking signs belonging to  toupeed, Opry Legends.  Even so, I’m quite intimidated by him.   Picture_095

#2 insisted on the drumstick.  I knew he’d no more eat it than a vegan would.  I think it made him feel like Fred Flintstone.Picture_075 That’s my nephew, Payton, there with him.

Picture_239 My mother gets her first Whiff of Smiff…"Now, how do I make this go down where I can read the rest of it?"  This is a woman who doesn’t even know how to turn a computer on and insists they are "of the devil."

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#1 chowed down.

Opry Dan laughed at Mr. Smiff’s stories. Picture_229

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Hazel got to laughing so hard, I thought we were going to have call the paramedics.

Picture_235 Little Mattie jumped on the trampoline with the big kids.

Picture_106 Hannah got a wee jealous of her big cousin having another little girl cousin besides her.  Pinky helped her sort out her feelings, though.

Picture_259 Payton got some quality, trampoline time as well.

   Picture_088    The Engineering Brother in Law assisted his wife, Gastrica, with some clean up. 

The whole Hee Haw Gang gathers for a portrait following the feast.  The Engineering Brother in Law and Opry Dan are missing from this photo cause they were taking pictures.  Picture_242

Gastrica took some good pictures, too.  I’m hoping she’ll send them on.