Archive for December 4th, 2006

Heirlooms

We did not have an internet connection the live long day.  I mean, none.  Still, because my mission is to get the Lynnster all fulled up of the Christmas spirit, I couldn’t miss today’s Heirloom of the Day.

It is Anniversary  Week around the Casa de Smiff so here is a little sumpin’ that harkens back to December 1989.Imgp0281 This cute lil’ ornament was  a wedding present.  It’s one of those Hallmark things and it says "Tis the season to be cuddly" on one side and "Our First Christmas Together" on the other   How precious is that?  Brings a tear to yer eye, don’t it? I figured up that this year is 18 Christmases I’ve been with Mr. Smiff.  Another year and I will have spent more Christmases with him than I did my own parents.

Fatty Fatty Fuh Fatty

Did I mention how I stopped smoking on August 15?  Yay for me.  Mr.Smiff also stopped about a month and a half after I did. Yay for us.  We’ve both quit numerous times before and we’re pretty hopeful that there will be no more times to quit because we don’t want to start again.

I really would never want to be like my next-door neighbor who has emphysema (on oxygen), yet, every morning, about 5 minutes after his wife leaves for work, goes out on the deck and lights up. I understand why he’s not able to quit.  It’s a powerful addiction. My own mother is so prone to bronchitis and is right now trying to get over yet another bout, but, it’s "drainage" that is the root of all her problems.  Never mind the ever present Marlboro reds that never leave her side.

I’d feel a whole lot better about quitting smoking had I not gone to the doctor today to get my thyroid levels checked (hypothyroidism) and discovered that I have gained 15 lbs since I quit.  WTF?!?!?! I knew I had gained, but holy Mama Cass…15 lbs!?!?!?! Geez.  Both my doctors always say "we’d rather you be overweight than smoke."

So, I ramble on and on to the nurse practitioner about how much weight I’ve gained and how that seems to be a lot (hoping she’d throw me some Elvis pills to suppress my healthy appetite ya know)and she said "Well, when we check your thyroid levels, I’d like to check a little deeper and check your liver and kidneys." 

Oh great.  Now, I’ll be fearful that I have some sort of horrible, liver condition. Visions of Naomi Judd crying about her supposed Hepatitis began to dance in my head and I’ve already begun planning my kidney transplant.  I’ve asked my family who’s gonna give up one of their kidneys for me.  Everyone said they would, except Manchild. I’m sure Chelsea, the dog, would loan me one of hers cause she’s sweet that way. 

Why do I get so scared of routine things? I’m sure when I’ve had blood workups on this stuff before, they checked all this stuff before.  Maybe it’s not a good idea to tell me you’re checking this stuff.  This makes my inner hypchondriac go nuts. 

NP Joyce assured me she just wanted to check as a precaution and so I’ll know all my innerds are aok.  In other words, "I’ll check all this stuff so you’ll know that you’ve just been stuffing your face entirely too much since you quit smoking." 

Now, I have been cooking a lot since I joined the ranks of the unemployed.  Not only have I been cooking a lot of really good stuff, a lot of what I’ve been cooking is stuff that Paula makes and everything she makes has a stick or two of butter in it. 

Not only did I stop smoking, but, right after had a major life change that has been a weird thing to deal with emotionally and I’m sure I’ve been doing a whole lotta "Feeling Feedin’" to console myself. 

This expanding Sista thing must stop.  Now. In the meantime, any of y’all want to offer up one of your kidneys to me?

**Please note I am not fishing for comments saying "Sista..you aren’t fat."  Even if anybody said that, I know theys lying cause I saw what that scale said today and it was painful. 

Dewde

Mr. Smiff’s friend had an interesting experience last night.  It is perhaps the weirdest, true story I’ve heard in awhile. 

This friend of Mr. Smiff’s is currently not in posession of a driver’s license due to some "iss-sews" he’s had with drinking and driving at the same time.  Therefore, he must walk where he needs to go or depends on others to carry him where he needs to go.

Last night, Nameless Friend needed something from the grocery store that is not far from his home, so, he set out a’walkin’.  As he approached the store, he happened to notice somebody laying in the parking lot across the street at the laundromat.  Because Nameless Friend is a caring, neighborly feller, he was a little concerned and wanted to make sure the person was o.k.  He got over to where the person was lying and the guy’s eyes were open and Nameless Friend was thinking maybe the guy had drank a little too much.  You know how cold it was Sunday night, and NF was afraid the guy would freeze to death. 

There were some women inside the laundromat and NF asked them if they knew if the guy was alright.  They looked at him and shrugged.  They probably hadn’t even noticed him.  NF decided maybe he should call 911, so he did.  When the paramedics arrived, they said the guy was dead.  Dead as in DAYDE.  The way NF described it…"Dewde….he was dead!"  When they turned him over, they found that it appeared he had taken a fall.  Nobody knew how long he had been there or what.

When Mr. Smiff was telling this story, my first reaction was to laugh that NF was the one that found the dayde guy.  I guess it was funny because I could just picture NF walking up the guy, poking him and saying "Hey Dewde….you ok?"

On the otherhand, it’s one of the saddest stories I’ve heard in awhile.  How sad to have your life end in the parking lot of a laundromat on Dickerson Rd.  No telling how long he had been there.  Apparently, nobody saw him fall or who knows….he might have been dumped there or something.

Mr. Smiff made the comment that even though Nameless Friend tried to make light of it, he’s known this guy long enough to know that the whole experience was upsetting to him (I know it would’ve been to me as most anybody). I couldn’t help but wonder if Nameless Friend had any kind of thought that unless he slows down his drinking, he could end up the same way.  Maybe that’s me being too Baptisty and Queen Teetotaler, but, I couldn’t help but think that.