Archive for December 28th, 2006

Funerals and Stuff

Over the next few days, we will be hearing the terms "lying in repose" and "lying in state" in regards to our dearly departed Gerald Ford.  When Reagan died a couple of years ago, they used these terms a lot and I didn’t know a lying in repose from a lying in state to save my life.  I know I’m not the only person out there who didn’t know things like this, so I want to clear this up for us right here and now so there will be no confusion in all your hours of funereal television viewing.  So, for you…because I care…


A former president’s remains may lie in repose at a church or other suitable location. During repose, which is open to the public, a military Guard of Honor stands watch over the remains.

The term "lying in state" is used only when referring to repose in the Rotunda of the U.S. Capitol, a government building.
Lying in state is the formal honor accorded by placement of the former president’s remains in the Rotunda of the U.S. Capitol with a ceremonial honor guard to attend him. Although lying in state continues through the night, it differs from lying in repose, which occurs at a church or other suitable location.

The former president’s remains are received with ceremony at the Capitol after arrival at Andrews Air Force Base.

An Armed Forces Guard of Honor maintains a vigil over the remains throughout the period of time the remains lie in state. Public viewing is allowed continuously during the lying in state until one hour before the departure ceremony.


However, not everyone lying in repose in the Capitol is "lying in state":
Jan. 28, 1998
WASHINGTON (CNN) — The bodies of Jacob Chestnut and John Gibson were lying in repose Tuesday in the majestic hall beneath the Dome of the U.S. Capitol, the building where the two police officers worked and died.
The two men are lying in repose rather than lying in state. The latter honor is given only to those entitled to a state funeral.

So there ya go.  Oh, and another thing…incase you don’t know, you’ll be hearing "Hail To The Chief" so much between now and Jimvarney Wednesday, you’ll kindly want to scream. 

Do you remember that commercial that Jim Varney did years ago of Ernest that they showed during election season?  It had Ernest singing "Hail To The Chief" and he’d sing it like this: "Hail to the chief he’s yer buddy and yer neighbor" and as sure’s I’m a Sista, every SINGLE time I hear that song played to this day, in my head I’m singing that.  I think it’s a good way to remember him.

This leads me to another question…what song do you want to be played at your final rites?  My life will have been worth living if The Hager Twins can sing something…anything, with their tambourines in tow. A nice, gospel number by Lulu Roman will cover the Jesus part.  Then, I’d like to have the All Star Blogging Band consisting of Slartibart, The Knucklehead, CLC, Rex L. Camino and whatever blogger plays drums to play us out with something, preferably C’s little Christmas ditty he wrote in my honor.

Rootin’, Tootin’, Resolutin’

Some of us have some goals of shedding some extry poundage in 2007.  That has been my only New Year’s resolution for quite a number of January Firsts.  The only thing that has changed is the amount I want to get rid of.  It started off as 20, then grew to 30 and so on. 

I started to get Dr. Oz’s book, but, after thumbing through it, decided that that is like a science class and I never did so hot in science. I have even checked out Brittney’s beloved SparkPeople, but, found it to involve more calculating up stuff than my feeble brain is capable of.  Thus, I will lean on the old standby, Weight Watchers. The program works (as do many others)if you do what it says.  They’ve been taking money out of my account for years now on a monthly basis sos I can have access to the recipes and stuff, perhaps I should put it to use, yes?  All the tools are there.

One thing I’m finding as I get older and when I try to lay off the burgers and such, it’s like withdrawing from a drug. Now that I don’t smoke, it’s even more habitual, dangit.

The fine folks at Weight Watchers offer some helpful tips for keeping that resolution:

1. Make your resolutions public. Share them with one or more people so they can help you stay on track. If you let your friends and family in on your dream, you can use their support to help you make it a reality. I’m sharing my "dream" with dozens of you.  There, that’s done.

2. Write down your resolution. But don’t stop there: Also include the steps you will take to keep it. According to Laura Hess, a Nevada-based personal and business coach, having a clearly articulated goal and a plan of action is vital for success. I want to look like Jennifer Aniston.  See how good I am at following rules? Yay. This is fun.

3. Keep things simple. Break a big goal into a series of smaller goals. Want to lose 50 pounds? Shoot for losing 10 percent of your body weight first, or set five 10-pound incremental weight-loss goals. Me losing ten pounds won’t be all that noticeable, but, hey, ya gotta start somewhere, eh?

4. Mark your achievements. Each time you make a small lifestyle change aimed at reaching your goal—adding 5 minutes to your daily walk, for instance—put a star on your calendar so you can see your progress. Oh yes…I’ll get right on that.  Who took my gold stars?

5. Make small changes. If weight loss or a healthier lifestyle is your goal, put a bowl of fruit or vegetable pieces front and center in the fridge, and hide the cookie jar behind the oatmeal. Each week, try a new low-fat cereal or an exotic fruit or a vegetable you haven’t tasted before. Stash away your car keys for a weekend and challenge yourself to walk wherever you need to go. Lose the deep-fat fryer, too, and steam, bake or microwave your food. I like vegetables a lot.  I don’t have a problem making myself eat broccoli or spinach or carrots or stuff like that.  I have never, ever, once in my life thought to myself "Hmm, a piece of fruit would just hit the spot right now!"  I will eat bananas (only at a certain ripened state) apples (same with them) grapes, and pears.  Is that good enough?  Lots of fruit makes the inside of my mouth itch like crazy for one thing.  That somewhat takes any potential joy out of a fruit experience for me.  Bananas make my mouth itch, but, I can force those down without too much trouble.

So there you have it my pretties…one of my resolutions for 07. I’ve followed the Weight Watcher rules and shared.

Citizens Arrayest

Rita I think I know who stole my bird feeder from my front yard.  I have a feeling it was the same little shit kid down the street who stole my Darlene Stringfellow for Alderman sign a few months ago (Heh. Darlene won). It matters not that this is not an expensive, fancy bird feeder, but, it matters cause I love to feed the little birds who trek into my yard and I just got the feeder a couple weeks ago.

This would be the same kid who last year, I drove into my driveway a few days before Christmas just in time to see him kicking down a Christmas display of my cross the street neighbor and friend.  I took off down the street screaming at this kid in something reminiscent of Cheri Oteri’s "Rita Delvechhio" character on SNL.  What made me even madder about said Little Shit’s destruction of the candy canes was the fact that the person to whom the display belonged had buried his grandmother the day before.  I was livid.  I’m sure I was quite the sight running down the street "Hey ya little punk…get back ovah heah!"

LS happened to be riding his bike past my house a couple weeks ago as I came out the front door and he immediately looked down to avoid making eye contact with me. 

LS is headed straight for prison, I’m ‘fraid.