Archive for January 24th, 2007


If anybody ever asks if cutting out food is like quitting crack, you can tell them it is. The last couple days have been sorta tough, worse than when I stopped smoking.  I never knew what a candidate I was for Overeater’s Anonymous.

This whole program is not so bad…the food is good. The worst thing is that I have horrendous gas. So bad, Mr. Smiff gets mad and leaves the room. As if I’ve never had to inhale any of his foul flatulence. Oh,that’s right…his farts don’t stink. Marriage vows don’t mention flatulating, but, they should.

Anyway, I haven’t cheated. I haven’t had to take heartburn stuff since I started. Amazing.  When I have those withdrawal-from-crack-like symptoms, I’ve been headed for the headphones and listen to my new favorite singer. Stuff like this and this.

Attack of the Purple Stuff

Casa de Smiff has been invaded by it’s once or twice a year visit from the Strep Monster.  This time, #2 is the lucky recipient, much to his sister’s dismay.  She is highly pissed that she is not the victim.  Highly.  I also think #2 has some flu action going on because he’s so congested and feverish and all that. 

It was this congestion that got me out of bed last night right before 10 (and in the middle of The Office) to go get #2 some night time cough/congestion medicine. He just bebopped around the house all day yesterday and I had to fight to keep him off the trampoline, but, as bedtime got closer and pretty typical of sick kids, the temperature went back up a little and the congestion got worse.

Luckily, we have a Kroger practically at the end of the street so I ran and got it (Buy one get one free,  too!) and was once again amazed at my motherly timing and precision when it comes to running to the store for sickly medicine. I’ve been doing this sort of thing for 15 years now and I must say, I rock at this part of parenting, the taking care of them when they’re sick part.   I made this trip in about 7 minutes, impressing the sickly #2 and getting myself a high five from him.

#2 hates taking liquid medicine and does everything he can to avoid it.  I was in the middle of lecturing him on how he must take the cough stuff or else he, nor anyone else in the house, would sleep a wink.  As I was doing my motherly, lecture, I was trying to get that protective, plastic thing off from around the top and after I had succesfully finagled that thing off, the easy part should’ve been opening the bottle, yes?  Heh. No. 

I guess I was in the middle of my speech and just opened too hard when grape, night time cough stuff went EVERYWHERE.   When I say "everywhere", I mean all over the kitchen and all over me.  It was not enough to just spill it on my clothes, which I did.  I got cough stuff all in my hair, all over my hands, my feet, my astronaut food box, my eyelids (WTF?), the floor…I told #2 that he didn’t have to worry about the stuff tasting bad cause it didn’t.  I know it tasted ok cause it got in mouth!  I even found some this morning on the thing over the stove.  Purple stuff everywhere…only about a 1/4 of the bottle left because the rest was on me and the kitchen.

It was completely silent while the purple stuff was flying and then once it stopped and settled…like something out of a movie, #2 broke into a gut busting laugh at his retard mother.  I have the feeling I will be finding grape stuff in strange places for a long time.