Archive for April 3rd, 2007

Wimmin Boss People and Various Sundry Other Memories From Sista’s Memory Book…

Day #2 at the ol’ Salt Mine was not so bad.  I actually got in the building by myself.  I was sure I’d have to stand there and wait on somebody to come along who isn’t a dumdadink, but, lo and behold, I walked in by myself.

So my work is not in the best part of town.  Never mind I saw tv news cameras at Jere Baxter School, which is down the street when I went out during lunch to Walgreens.  Lordy me, don’t tell my mother.  She will be telling me that I should stay indoors at all times and never peek out of the building, except to go to my car and then  run like wildfire, with mace in hand,  because there just might be some drunk, lesbian, juvenile delinquents in the area. 

My 3-hole punch skills are VERY rusty.  I haven’t lost my touch with a copy machine though (praise!) and I think I’m going to like my boss.  And she’s a girl.  I know it’s early yet, but, from what I see so far and from what everybody tells me, I think she’s ok.

I’ve always been somewhat leery of female bosses.  Ooh, now I don’t work at the former company, I can trash talk a former female boss, can’t I?  Yee haw.  What a bee-yatch.  She hated my guts from the get-go.  She didn’t hire me, but, came in a few weeks after I started.  She H-A-T-E-D me.  I never could figure out why.  I think a lot of it had to do with the fact I smoked at that time and would go outside to engage in my former nasty habit and she thought that was un-godly.  She lectured me one time on how divorce was against God’s law (I was divorced at the time) and SURPRISE….she was divorced.  She did everything she possibly could to get me fired, everything from writing me up for being 60 seconds late (that is no joke, y’all) to having my email monitored.  I don’t know what she was hoping to find.  She’d threaten to fire me and say “You’re one of my best people, I really don’t want to lose you.”  Bull. Shit. 

My last glorious day with her, she said “I know you think I didn’t like you.  That is not true.”   I let her talk (she sho’ loved to talk) and all I said was “If that makes you feel better to believe that and helps you sleep at night, that’s great.”  And I left! 

This woman was the only holier-than-the-Lord Himself boss I had there, I can honestly say.  My other female boss at the same company wasn’t holier than thou but she worked me to death.  I still think it’s her fault I got gray headed so quickly.  She was a great person, but, a workhorse.  She finally retired.  I still wonder what she was trying to prove.  Every single one of us that worked for her had to go have stress-related medical tests run while we worked for her.  A couple of them had chest pains.  What a blessing.

Then, there was the famous Baby Talk WadyShe wasn’t technically my boss, but, I had to answer to her.  Lord help us…some of us could be gathered in a group chatting and she couldn’t stand it.  She’d holler at us.  Then if SHE had something to say, well, by gosh, by golly, that was different.  I yelled at her one time and made her cry and my boss (a most UN-holier than thou feller) made me apologize.  Sawwy.

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A New Day

first-day-of-work.jpgWelcome to my new home.  The Roaming Gnome is in place, so it’s officially christened.  The first day was really good.  When I tell you that I went to sleep Sunday evening without the first butterfly or worry about starting a new job, you must understand it was total peace.  I had a really, really good day. 

There were two other guys starting today as well, one, having a title that ends in “Ologist.”  I’ve never sat across from an ologist of any sort before, other than various “Retardologists” “Psycho-ologists” I’ve had the priviledge to work with through the years. .  We got the Grande Tour first thing and I was introduced to every single person in the building.  The girl who showed us around is exactly the combination of my friend Lisa Lonsbury and my cousin Barbara.  I have dubbed her “Barbara Lonsbury” and she will forever be that to me.  I met a man named James Stewart.  Obviously, not THE Jimmy Stewart, but, who doesn’t feel warm and fuzzy about a dude with that name? One of my bosses reminds me a TON of Newscoma.  She sounds just like her and uses the same kind of voice inflections and laughs a lot just like the ‘Coma does. 

 I was also greeted by the other, official, Welcoming Committee in the person of His Hutchness.  In fact, my very first phone call on my new phone was from Hutch.  It doesn’t matter when I listened to his voicemail, all I heard was background noise. 

Everybody should be glad to know I didn’t pull any first day stunts like Jane Fonda did in Nine To Five (whew).  I didn’t have any accidental farts slip out (whew) or any other embarrassing bodily function.  I’m saving that for tomorrow. I put up the good front today, but, I’m gonna let it all hang out the rest of the week. 

Thank you, everybody for your nice thoughts and good wishes.  Being the good blogger I am, I have other First Day pictures that I’ll put up later.  I’m going to be a compliant employee of the Gret Stet of Tennessee and not blog at work for fear of Stacey Campfield lurking about. 

I do have to tell you that the Hutch Welcoming Committee did not stop with anonymous voicemail messages.  Imagine my surprise and glee when he appeared at my cubicle.  It made me giggle because I saw Hutch actually talking work with various people and it was just funny to me.  He even left me my own, personal screensaver. It makes me wonder if tomorrow, Short and Fat will show up and do a little soft shoe, “Welcome to the Family” dance.

Even more ironic and funny to me was when I got home, I had received an envelope in the mail from my former company congratulating me on my tenth anniversary and here was a catalog and pick out a present.  I think I’m going for either the grill, vacumn,  or the Revere Stainless Steel cookware.  Mr. Smiff says I better not send it in, but, hello?  I’ve gotten all these other reminders in the mail from them telling me I’m no longer an employee of theirs. I have to pay full price for my YMCA membership.  They have it in the records that Sista’s presence is no mo’ there.  Plus, we could use a new grill.