Archive for July, 2007

Rambling, ADD Tuesday

I am a bad, horrible person.  I just am. 

I knew something was up with Robin Roberts.  I’m a pretty loyal GMA watcher while I’m getting ready in the mornings.  I got hooked on that whiter than white bunch while I was home, in between jobs.  Chris Cuomo is just too dang cute for words. 

Robin was MIA for a bit and something in the way Diane said she was “on assignment” just didn’t fly with me.  When she first came back (this is why I feel so bad) her eyes were puffy and because I’m so smart and know everything, I said out loud (the the snoring Mr. Smiff) “She had her eyes done!” 

I do feel bad cause I like Robin.  I say that like I’ve known her forever.  Remember when she did weekend sports on Channel 4 in the 80’s?

Yay! McCeemy’s back on American soil.

Yay! I am having lunch with the Gentleman Formerly Known As My Boss tomorrow!  The best boss evah.

I’d like very much to have lunch with my Shishter sometime in the next decade.

#2 is reportedly having a blast with his cousins in Knoxville.  I wonder if my sister has begun drinking heavily?  I asked #2 on the phone yesterday if he was having fun with Payton and Hannah and in his direct, from the hip, #2 style he said “That’s what I’m here for.”  Duh.

You need to read my pal Chris in Texas’ new and improved blog.

I love the smell and flavor of pickles, however, I do not like to bite into them.  What is up with that?

I have a new job.  I’m in the same office, just handling different duties.  I think this is going to be a perfect fit for me and will help me a ton when I get in school.  Take it from your Sista…you do not want to get any form of Hepatitis or any tick-borne illness.  Trust me on this one.  Wash your hands and use your repellent with DEET when you go outside.  I don’t have either of these types of illnesses, but, I’m dealing with them on a daily basis now.  Shigella and MRSA  are some other things you don’t want neither.

It’s no wonder I’m anemic.  I mean, it’s just no wonder.  If they start letting people have elective hysterectomies, count me in. I’m over this.  This is the part about being a female I hate and I don’t feel like turning flips like Cathy Rigby used to do nor do I feel fresh.  I ache from head to toe right now.   Poor Mr. Smiff.  They need to put something about that time of the month in marriage vows. 


Nobody took the towels out of the dryer.  You just can’t get good help anymore.

The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy


The framed photograph hung in my childhood home as far as I can remember.  I’m not even sure when it was taken, but, it appeared to be in a recording studio.  It now hangs in my sister’s home. The first thing I always noticed when I’d look at it was the piano keys at the bottom whereas my sister noticed something on the buttons on his jacket that looked like a face.  I never noticed that before.

I have the little trumpet he’s playing in the picture.  The Manchild drew on Sandra’s brand new walls with the mouthpiece on the big trumpet when she had lived in her house about 5 minutes.  He was about 3.  “Look!  Circles!”  Heh.

 Dad’s trumpet is also in my sister’s home.  I was trying to create an artsy fartsy moment with Dad’s picture and his trumpet.

Dad was a decent trumpet player.  He was in the San Antonio Junior Orchestra when he was a teenager.  His original aspiration was to be a Benny Goodman or Glenn Miller.  He often played his trumpet at church.  The town_hall_party.jpgneighbors in Hallbrook remember many New Years Eves when he would play Auld Lang Syne at midnight on the front porch.  The 4th of July he would play something patriotic.  He often woke us in the morning playing Revelry.  I didn’t like that too much. 

In Memory

RIP Tom Snyder

I bet there weren’t many kids at Lipscomb Elementary School who had any clue who Tom Snyder was. Murrey Gropp did, but, I doubt many others did. My mother was a night owl and watched Tom just about every night.

Tom died today of leukemia.  Tom did John Lennon’s last televised interview and U2’s first US television appearance.  Tom was a great tv personality with a cool style.   We’ll probably never see the likes of him again.

The Kid’s Got Talent

paytons-talent.jpgThis is my nephew performing a talent gifted upon multiple generations of Collie’s.  Pretty impressive, huh?  We’ve got ’em all in my family tree….Broadway stars, former college, sought after football players, highly educated, succesful  family members with varying degrees, pioneering Country Music DJ’s…and this.

This trick here….how I wish I had film of the time my father demonstrated this on live television in Houston, Texas in the 1950’s.  For real…he was demonstrating for the Houston viewing area this highly challenging skill that he and his sister used to do and whilst putting legs behind his head, he cut one on live tv. 

If this film/kinescope was still around, it would be fodder for one of those bloopers shows. 

The truck belongs to Dierks Bentley.  The cones were set up by Bobo and the Manchild.  Seems Dierks parked in dierks-truck.jpgLittle Jimmy Dickens’ parking spot at the Opry the other night.

One of these days, I will meet Dierks. tara-dierks.jpg 

The Opry performance airs tonight (Saturday) on GAC and tomorrow. 

Smiff and Stubbs


When it comes to country dj types, I’m somewhat snobby about who is good and who I think isn’t.  I think I have every right to be that-a-way. 

Eddie Stubbs is a one of a kind.  I am not alone  in that thought.  He’s a young guy with an old soul.  I hate, hate, hate, that my Dad died before Eddie moved to town.  They would have been great buddies.  Eddie reveres the Old Man and is pretty honored to share the same birthday, November 25, as Biff. 

The first time I ever saw Eddie was before he was in Nashville.  We were at the IBMA awards in Owensboro in 1994.  Eddie came out to give an award for something and I leaned over to Mr. Smiff and said “Boy, he has a nice voice.  He should be in radio.”  Mr. Smiff sorta went “Duh!”  

Everybody should have one of these Stubbs shirts.  You can get one of these shirts from here

Thing that amazes me about this picture…Eddie is a rather tall feller.  I guess he and Mr. Smiff are about the same height.  I have on a wedge heel in this picture and I still look very short. 

Shoot Me Now

I will be riding to Knoxville tomorrow….with my mother.  And her poodle.  And her Marlboros.  I’m sure she will not hear of letting me drive and I’m sure what’s usually a 2.5 hour ride for me will turn into a 6 hour journey to hell.

Oh yeah, #2 will be along as will The Holy Tara.  I’m sure she will roll her eyes all the way to Knox County. 

Send drugs.  Good drugs. Or alcohol.

There Never Was A Hoss Like The Tennessee Stud

Last week, Co-Worker Dave mentioned his lovely Mrs. was a little out of sorts…kinda crabby, which is unusual for her.  I said to Co-Worker Dave, “I bet she’s pregnant.”  I said that cause when I was pregnant with the Holy Tara and didn’t know it yet, I had the urge to yank Mr. Smiffs head off.  There’s some things us women just know.

So this morning, when I got into the office, Co-Worker Dave tells me how when he got home yesterday, after sitting in traffic 2 hours, there was nobody to be seen when suddenly, his adorable, two year old daughter appears with one of his shirts on that said “Big Sister.”  Hee!  I knew it!

Not that I had a thing to do with it, but, I’m proud of calling that one.  I’m tickled for this sweet little family.  Tickled it ain’t me ‘spectin fo sho. 

Want To See A Smiff?

The Grascals are hitting the Ryman Auditorium tonight for “Bluegrass Night at The Ryman.”  I imagine you can still get tickets. I’ll be there somewhere in the mix.

 If you can’t get to the Ryman, yet still desire to see Mr. dierksgrascals.jpgSmiff slap that bass, the guys will be on Opry Live this weekend on GAC.  My boyfriend, Dierks Bentley, is also on and performs with them Grascals.

An Unexpected Tribute

This is a different sort of post for me.  One, it’s pretty serious and two, it’s a curious sort of subject on many levels. 

I’ve mentioned a time or two here before about how me and Mr. Smiff took a “vacation” from one another in 2000-2001.  We were separated a total of about 18 months and actually divorced for a little over a year. 

During the time we were apart, Mr. Smiff met a lady and spent some time with her.  Her name was Beverly.  They met at a show of his somewhere and communicated for awhile and spent some time together.  I don’t know if you can call it “dating” but this all started right before Mr. Smiff and me started putting things back together. 

Beverly liked her some Mr. Smiff.  I can’t say that I blame her.  He is quite cute and from experience I can honestly say he is not hard to fall in love with. 

 Because Beverly herself was a divorced mother of three, when Mr. Smiff told her what was happening with me and him, she graciously stepped aside.  From her perspective, it was a crappy deal, although at the time, honestly, I didn’t think a whole lot about her feelings.  I was interested in putting my family back together.  I really never gave her a second thought other than the fact I was a tad jealous and for a long time worried if Mr. Smiff wondered if he made the right decision or not. (It is about me, you know)

I do want to clarify that Mr. Smiff met Beverly a good while after we separated and she had nothing to do with our separation.  I know somebody out there is wondering if she had anything to do with us divorcing.  She did not.  He met her about a year after we separated. 

Mr. Smiff got word earlier this week that Beverly was killed in a horrific and very tragic car accident in South Florida (where she lived) a couple weeks ago.  You can read more about the accident here.  (The paper website has removed the original article.)

I never met Beverly, but, by all accounts, she was a lovely, hardworking person, a devoted mother, a loved co-worker, daughter, sister and friend to many.  Mr. Smiff has always had nothing but nice things to say about her.  Had our situation not been what it was, she might’ve been somebody I’d have been friends with.  Looking at the program from her memorial service and seeing that the Division Fire Chief of Pembroke Pines, FL, where Beverly worked for many years gave her eulogy as did the mayor of Pembroke Pines.  The remembrances of people mentioned in the article and those who left comments in the newspaper speak volumes.

I had a thought the other day that I’ve never had before where Beverly was concerned:  She could’ve made our reconciliation very difficult had she wanted to.  She could have given me a hard time.  She could’ve given Mr. Smiff a hard time.  She did not.  In fact, she encouraged Mr. Smiff to try reconciling with me.  She was a few years older than him so she definitely had some maturity and life experience going for her, but, think about it….most women would’ve probably not been so gracious about getting their heart broken.  She knew the importance of  family and she encouraged him.  I’m sure it was hard for her to do.  Women can be so competitive when it comes to men.  I really owe Beverly a debt of gratitude that I can’t quite put into words.

My thoughts and prayers are with Beverly’s children, her large family and her many friends. 


During lunch, I went to the Madison Kmart.  I am still laughing out loud to myself on what I saw. 

I saw a Kmart employee restocking stuff in the health and beauty aisle and he picked up a bar of Dial Soap and was sniffing it for dear life.  Not just catching the aroma, but, sniffing it like it was lady’s drahs.

I can’t quit laughing about it.

The Real Reason I’m A Baptist

I don’t push my faith on anybody.  I am of the mind that it’s a good witness to let others see Jesus in you.  I love my church, my church family but that ain’t the reason I attend a Baptist church.  Is it Richard Land’s sexy hair?  Nah.  Is it because I love GA’s and Bible Drill?  Hardly. Not even because of Annie Armstrong and Lottie Moon.

This right ‘chere is why I love the Baptists so much.


Christians are some of the best cooks around.   They do know how to put on a spread. 

desserts.jpgThe dessert table alone would make you want to slap your mama.  Note the peach cobbler at the bottom.  That was my contribution.  I do make some fine peach cobbler, I must say.

Praise the Lord and let’s eat!

I Will Remember You

hunter-and-kara-gee.jpgI didn’t greet Hunter Gee (pictured here with his lovely wife, Kara) with a “hello, how are ya?”  No sirreee. That just wouldn’t be the Sista Way, now would it?

I greeted my long ago classmate with “Can you still turn your tongue upside down?”  He performed his trick and then I made him guess who I was.  He wasn’t able to guess.  Seems my blondish highlights threw people.  Most of the BHS said things like “You had black, curly hair, didn’t you?”

Picture, if you will, 5th grade, Mrs. Stringer’s Language Arts class (seems to me there weren’t a thing artsy about that class).  Hunter had fire engine red, curly hair and until he showed me that day in 5th grade, I never knew a person could turn their tongue upside down. 

Hunter whipped out some old photographs taken when we were in 5th grade.  I spotted myself in the very middle, with my “I’m A Pepper” t-shirt and true to my Rainman form, I was able to name nearly every kid in the picture.  He had a picture of the boys in our class that  year and I swear, it made me want to cry….yes, Bo Heyward, you were in these great pictures, you party pooper who didn’t show up. 

Hunter is now a succesful architect type of guy and has him a couple kids.  I was pretty tickled to see Hunter.  He’s every bit as nice as I remember him being, in fact, Hunter was the first boy I can remember having “discussions” with.  These also took place in Mrs. Stringer’s Language Arts class….I don’t remember what we talked about but I’m sure it was powerful and heavy. 

lesli-and-sharon.jpg Lesli Pace Claiborne was the Class President, cheerleader type of gal.  I never felt worthy to pick up her pom pom dust but unlike a lot of the other cheerleader, “Beautiful People” (as me and Patrick called them) Lesli was a sweet, sweet girl.  We go back to elementary school, through junior high and when I got to Franklin.  

I was surprised she wanted to have her picture made with me.  I mean, yeah, I am the Sista and all (she doesn’t know that though) and then it dawned on me why she had Gary (her husband who sat in front of me in 7th grade homeroom) take a picture….Gary’s first cousin was my very first boyfriend and the very first feller to kiss your Sista.  I wonder if maybe they took that picture so Cousin Jimmy could see how much I aged.  I don’t know. 

jeff-and-cheri.jpgThis is Jeff and Cheri Redd.  Cheri grew up down the street from me and her husband, Jeff, was my pal from Freshman year.  Lordy mercy…Jeff and I were in Shop class together.  Imagine me in Shop?  That was my rebellion against taking Home Ec.  I no more cared about woodworking projects than I cared about making that apron with the pocket on it.  I was determined I was not going to do what the other girls did and take Home Ec.  My lack of housekeeping skill bears witness to the fact that I did not take Home Ec.

Anyway, Jeff Redd used to be a tiny little guy. He’s another one of those I knew from First Grade on.  He was hysterical.  I don’t remember what all me, him and Dean Littleton laughed so much about in Shop class, but, I remember most days nearly wetting my britches at those two. 

Jeff reminded me of something I either never knew or totally forgot about and that was that he worked for my father for about a year.  Dad had a radio station in Brentwood for a time and I vaguely remember him working there.  I was really, really touched by how, I don’t know if this is the right phrase, but, how Jeff holds my dad in high esteem.  He asked me “Do your kids realize how important your dad was?” 

Gosh, I’m glad I didn’t miss Jeff.  I was just about to leave for the night when I ran into Cheri and she took me to where Jeff was and we all had the nicest visit for over an hour.  I believe Jeff is a big shot with Home Depot.  They have lived all over the place and have four adorable children.  We exchanged emails and stuff.  Definitely want to stay in touch with the Redds.

beth-and-candy.jpgI was very glad to see Beth Canady McDaniel (left) and her longtime sidekick Candy Barnhill. 

 I was really glad Beth got to come.  See, not long ago, her husband survived a plane crash in Gallatin.  He broke his neck and had the same kind of injury Christopher Reeve had.  Had his neck broken a miniscule further on the spine, he’d have either died or ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.  Kelly is a truly a walking miracle. 


Susan Turner and I became friends in 8th grade.  On the official scale of Twistedness, she and I are about the same level.  She’s another one of those people that I rarely see, but, when I do see her, we instantly become 14 again. 

Sentimental Journey Home

 I’m going to do my Reunion Report in an installment or two cause if I don’t, this would be the longest post ever recorded. So many neat moments and reunions with different people, I still haven’t been able to process it all. 

Funny how when you go to these things, thinking about it later…it’s heavy.  On the one hand, we’re all closer to 40.  Some of us are heavier than the last reunion, some are balder, some have more gray hair, some look better now than they did in high school.  Some people, the mere sight of them conjures up memories you’ve kept locked away for years, both good and bad.  It’s a neat experience and I highly recommend it to everybody. Even if you hated high school.  Nobody hated school more than me.

As I was going down 65 South to Cool Springs Saturday evening, I was thinking that like in 1997, the Franklin High reunion was going to be the good one and the Brentwood High reunion (for me) would be ehhh.  It was kinda/sorta the other way around.

The turnout for the FHS reunion was not so great.  I shouldn’t say that.  It was a nice party.  I heard the food was good but I never got any cause I was busy going back and forth from the FHS reunion to the Brentwood High reunion next door. 

Lesli Pace Claiborne and Crew did a great job putting it together and I certainly don’t want to make it sound like it was not a well planned and executed event.  I was kinda surprised at the seemingly low turnout.  I don’t know how many kids graduated in the class of 1987, but, it was a big class. I’m not good at guessing crowd numbers, but, it was much less than what we had in ’97.  The FHS reunion resembled a nursing home social hour.  God love Candy Barnhill for trying to get all the old farts out on the dance floor. 

Do not get me wrong….I was happy, happy to see my friend Patrick, who I haven’t seen in about…gosh, 6 or 7 years.  In fact, I’d have paid the $75 bucks just to see him.  Funny how some people you can go years without seeing and you just sorta slip back into your thing.  Patrick’s one of those friends.  Even as sophisticated and worldly and traveled as that boy is, he’s still the same. 

It sounds like Patrick’s Playa days will soon be coming to an end and this makes your Sista very happy. The women on the East Coast will be so sad.  He looked fabulous.patrick-and-brian.jpgfabulous. Even Holy Tara commented on how “cute” Patrick is.  (You hear that, Patrick?)  Oh geez, if he ever reads this, he will have a duck cause I wrote about him and put his picture online. 

With him here is Dr. Brian Gannon, who was his next door neighbor.  Brian was the valedictorian of the class of 87 and probably one of the nicer human beings around.  He is a pediatrician in Owensboro with a beautiful wife and family.  Brian is more proof that the geeks  always come out on top.  Yay for Brian.  Great guy.

I am kicking myself cause I didn’t take a picture of me and Patrick, however, somebody took a picture of us for some magazine in Franklin and she said it would be in the sharon___patrick.jpgSeptember issue.  I can’t remember the name of the publication, so you Franklin people watch for that for me, mmmk?  

I was going to keep the recaps of the two schools separate, but, what they hay….from the “I Don’t Recall Him Being So Hotwes-david-preston.jpgHot Department”the winner is…..Wes Beasley.  This is a guy I go back to First Grade with.  Wes is the tall one in the blue shirt.  The guy in the middle is David Kinchler who has his own freakin’ bank!  I asked him if it was called “Dave’s Bank.”  Ha.  Funny Sista.  Preston Bain is the other guy.  Lordy, lordy, Preston Bain was just in the backdrop of my childhood.  His daddy was the onetime mayor of Brentwood.  We swam at the same pool.  Preston is one of those familiar faces that I just adore.  
Anyhoo, back to Reunion Hottie Wes… I remember in 5th grade,  Wes was obsessed with the Washington Redskins.  The marketing tools for kids weren’t quite what they are today, but, remember those NFL jackets boys used to wear?  They had vinyl like sleeves and you could get one with all the various NFL teams.  I think even in a school picture or two, Wes was decked out in his Redskins finest.   

David was cracking me up reminiscing about our school’s poster child for “Kids Who Were Never Diagnosed With ADHD But Should’ve Been.”  Ours was Phillip Leverette.  In 5th grade, somebody (probably David) busted open a golf ball and somehow, the toxic stuff in the middle got in Phillip’s eyes or mouth or something.  Drama. 

I would say David wins the award for “Least Changed Since 5th Grade.”  He’s exactly the same, just taller. 

I spotted Jessica Reeves (who looks like she could be Shirley McLaine’s kid) and immediately she told a story on me from jessica-and-jenny.jpg6th grade.  We were at a slumber party and because we were so hip, we were doing some serious prank calls back and forth with some boys who had found out there was a hen party going on.  They asked “We’re doing a survey and want to know what kind of feminine products you use” and I took the phone and said, (according to Jessica) very calmly and confidently, “I happen to use an old tube sock.”  Jessica says she was impressed with my man parts.  Hee.  I forgot about that.

 Jessica uses the pseudonym Clyde Forth and is an artist and dancer in New York.  Jessica had perfect fingernails.  As a kid who chewed their nails constantly, I admired the girls who had good nails.  I remember one time, she whipped out her scissors from her schoolbox and cut the perfect nails off right there in class. 

In the picture with Jessica/Clyde is another girl who had great fingernails…Jenny Harmon.  Me and Jenny were good pals in 7th grade.  We were a pretty good match in terms of retardedness.  I understand Jenny is in the “jewelry” business.  Unh huh.  

One more picture and I’m going to stop.  These four girls were all in Mrs. Campbell’s First Grade in 1975-76.  I love laura-holly-jami.jpgthis picture.  I was good buddies with Laura Teague (far left) and not as much close with Holly and Jami, but, boy, this makes me warm and fuzzy.  I thought Holly was gonna wet her pants when I recollected as to how she was moved up to First Grade from Kindergarten in the middle of the year.  I remember as clearly as 5 minutes ago, some kid asking her why she came to First Grade and she told him, with her lisp….”Becauth I’m thmart.”

More memories to come.