Archive for April 5th, 2008

I Need To Get Out More

Because I rarely partake in refreshments of the alcoholic variety, it doesn’t take a whole bunch of it before my face starts burning.  Two Coronas.  Just two.

Me and this hilarious woman named Susan (who looks and talks JUST LIKE Megan Mulally) went down the street to the Liquor store.  Now, I don’t frequent those sorts of places often.  I was just sure I would run into a fellow Baptist in there.  (I still feel like lightning will come straight out of the sky anytime I ever walk into one of those places. I guess I always will. )

My compadres wanted Margaritas. (I don’t get those things.  I don’t like how they taste not one bit) I like Coronas and things that taste like dessert.  That about does it for my alcohol preference but I digress..that also will probably just about do for my alcohol consumption for the year 2008.

We go into the Likka Store up the street so she could get margarita mix.  The guy behind the counter….lordy me oh my, what a weirdo he was.  He convinced Susan to buy this bottle of $20 margarita stuff.  He promised her she’d never go back once she had that.   He also had every other fingernail painted blue and he was not a young guy.  He looked like somebody could call him “Paw Paw”. 

Me, Lisa and Jeff were sitting there discussing the whereabouts of our children.  I said that the HT was at a retreat with the church. So was Lisa’s son.  There our kids are learning about Jesus, and their mamas are out getting a little louder than we would ordinarily get and holding microphones, singing about Mary Anne and Wanda killing the abusive Earl.

That was the very first time I have ever done karaoke.  I tell you one thing…it ain’t gonna be the last time either.  I was pretty grateful Lisa called me up this afternoon saying she was going to be up the street and to come on.  I needed that.  Thank you, Lisa.  And Jeff, her most cool husband, who she dated when she was a teenager only to run into a couple years ago.  One of the coolest love stories I know.  This is Lisa’s boy, Rusty.  His name is really not Rusty.  It’s Ross.  Rusty is adorable.  Stepdaddy Jeff gave Ross a sip of whatever it was he was drinking and he kept sipping and Jeff says “Rusty….RUSTY!”  Liked to have made me bust a gut.  (Remember in Vacation when Clark has a beer with Rusty?  Oh me.  Made me laugh) 






Pregnant Men and Stuff

I like to think that for a Christian, much less a Southern Baptist one, who loves Jesus and trusts Him with everything I got, that I am tolerant.  I am not the least bit disturbed by a gay person.  Even a flaming, drag queen doesn’t make me flinch. 

 I have many gay friends, some relatives, and I love them regardless, plus being gay is just plain not an issue.  I felt long ago like the Good Lord convicted me that it is not my job to point out to any gay person that they are sinning cause you know what, I have plenty of sin in my life, too.  So that took care of that.  Gay vs. Straight is not an issue for me.

Howevah, this Pregnant Man thing?  Two words…unh. unh.  One, “he” is not even a man.  It’s a woman with a mastectomy, male hormones, etc. Two…no two.  I think it’s just plain ridiculous.  Especially when my 9 year old said “Hey Mom…did you know there is a pregnant man?”  Ah.  That’s precious.

Sorry, people…I’m not fillin’ it.

By the way, Oprah’s getting crazier by the nanosecond, ain’t she?  This Eckhart Tolle crapola is just a little more than I can stomach.  Her telling the Pregnant Woman With A Beard and her partner they were sent to make the world more tolerant?  Tolerate this Ofrah.



I Had A Weird Dream

Yeah, yeah, I’m late to seeing current movies.  Praise the Lord and pass the Netflix though.  Woo!

I watched that movie “Knocked Up” last night and geez louise, that’s a funny movie.  Those guys were just plain killing me.  Ben’s friends?  Oh gosh.  Defnitely my favorite part.  The Muslim jokes made me near ’bout bust a gut.

Only thing is I don’t think they said the “F” word quite enough.  I mean, if theyda just said it a little more, it would have been way more effective.  It certainly couldn’t have been funny without it.  I like crude and all that as much as the next person.  (Jesus knows this about me and He understands)  I got a little wo’ out with the repeated F words.  Especially by the Sister.

I think, though, that watching this movie so late caused me to have a totally bizarre, and just plain weird dream.  It was so strange.  It involved Cracker Barrel, real people I know mixed with people from movies, mixed with people I have NO idea who they are, having high jinks regarding stealing money from the CB.  Almost like the Oceans 11 guys plotting a big steal from the Cracker Barrel.  I have not been smoking crack.  I swear.  I was pretty glad to wake up, even though it was at 7:00 on a Saturday morning and I really didn’t want to wake up that early.