Archive for May 1st, 2008
I’m convinced that as a mother of babies, toddlers and elementary-aged children, I was the bomb.
From the time I gave birth to the Manchild, I was as confident about my abilities to take care of him and truly felt I had found my calling. I was not a nervous new mother. I felt like if mama dogs and cats knew how to take care of their babies, surely I could take care of that little feller. And I did.
Of course, the MC was perhaps, the most amazing baby/little boy ever. Good natured as all git out. He was why I wanted more babies cause he was a dream of a little guy.
The Holy Tara showed up on the scene when the Manchild was 20 months old. I was 24 years old and had two little babies but oh man…how I loved having those little people around me. I never minded Barney even (this was when Barney was BIG) and I was not uptight about schedules, germs, or nothing like that. I was a Stay-At-Home Mom then. I had plenty of time for them.
Those two were just the cutest little things. They played together so perfectly. We went to the park a lot…to the mall…just hung out. I dont remember getting totally exasperated with them much back in those days. I’m sure I had my moments, but, really, they were just the most fun and I loved being their mother.
I still love being their mother. When I look at my handsome, strapping, 6’2 inch, 16 year old son, who is the spitting of image of his Grandpa Biff, hear him play this complex material on his guitar, when he discusses music theory and other things that are so over my head….that he makes pretty good grades and can talk knowledgably about most any subject…I’m so full of pride and find it hard to believe that’s the same little feller who carried his “Gee” around (what he called juice) and cried to watch “Dubbadee” all the time (he was obsessed with CMT as a toddler. Loved those videos. Go figya) Now he likes sweet tea and practically has a 5 o’clock shadow.
The Holy Tara came into the world with two quick pushes, eyes wide open, ready to see what was going on. She sang herself to sleep as an infant and talked in complete sentences at 14 months. When she’d try to pull herself up when she was about 8 months old….would fall flat on her face….would not cry but would do a disgusted grunt and get right back up and do it again. She has more resolve and determination in her than just about anybody I know. (She reminds me that way of her Grandma Hazel and her Aunt Gastrica) She has the voice of an angel and its been fun of late watching her find that voice and work it.
I’m so proud of these two teens of mine (y’all know how I am about #2. He’s not a teen yet though). I’m not saying this cause I want a bunch of comments lauding my mothering…nope. I feel like I suck as a mother to teens. I really do. I have no patience for DRAM-uh. Not much of that with the Manchild but with the HT, it’s constant. I have no patience for it. None. I feel like I let them down constantly in more ways than I can even tell here. I feel like I’m growing up so much my own self, that I’m not as attentive or take their stuff as seriously as I should.
I always thought I’d really rock as a mom to teens cause I’m younger than a lot of their friends’ parents. I don’t think this is so. The thing is, they’re close to being grown. Two years from now, the MC will be a legal adult. The HT is not far behind him.
It’s not my style to be one of those moms thats in their face, volunteering for everything at the school and every activity. It’s not cause I’m not interested. It’s more that I want them to be free to be themselves in their world, without any self consciousness that Mom is looking or what I might say. I sorta felt like that when I was a kid. Scared to be who I was. Afraid I would look stupid or something. So, I try to give them some space.
I’m not a rigid rules person, however, I feel like I’m the Parent, they are the Child. My job is not to be their friend, yet, I want them to feel like they can bring stuff to me…which they do.
I don’t know the point of all this babbling….maybe I’m just realizing time is marching forward and they are becoming their own people….I don’t know.
I do love my kids. I hope they realize that when the chips are down, their Mama’s got their back.
Can somebody just make time stop or at the least…slow down a little??