Today is the first day in about, oh gosh, a month maybe, that I have really felt like myself. 

This last month has found me in an unusually stressed out mode of being that frankly, I just don’t like.  I mean, we all have our moments and all that, but, me and stressed out/tense/wired/wound up mode just do not mix. 

I was so stressed out that I considered smoking. 

 I was at the Mapco one day in the middle of the Wiggin’ period and I thought about it.  Then I looked at what cigarettes cost….4.19 a packl!  Who can afford to smoke.  Remember the days when a carton of cigarettes cost less than $20?  Good grief.

I almost smoked a cigarette one night me and Cherry were at Rosepepper.  She was smoking and it’s a good thing all she had was menthols cause I don’t like menthols. 

The real kicker that was proof from Above that I don’t need to smoke was when I drove my mother in her vehicle the other day.  My mother is rarely without a Marlboro (Red) on her person.  She especially likes to smoke in her car and she does often. 

I took her up to Sears and I wasn’t in her car 5 minutes when my eyes got red and were burning like crazy.  I mean, it was like somebody flipped a switch on.  It was like that until we got back to my house and then the burning, red mess stopped.

I swear, I think I’ve become one of those irritating, ex-smokers who becomes “allergic” to cigarette smoke.  I suppose that’s good, but, at the same time, it disturbs me.  There is nothing more aggravating as an ex-smoker who is high and mighty about the habit. 

There are times though, that I miss smoking.  I wish I could smoke one a month or something.  I know better than that though.   I miss it in social situations.  Now that you can’t smoke in most places, when people say “Let’s go outside and smoke”…dang, I miss it then.  Except when it’s 20 degrees out.