Y’all…I need some help.  Some decoratin’ help.  I am not a decoratuer.  At. All.  I need help decorating my office. 

Dig, if you will….my new Daytime Digs, won’t you?  It’s not huge, but, it’s an office, not a cube.

There’s a tall shelf, the same color as the desk, to the right of the desk there. 


Then, there’s this thing, that I’m not quite sure what it’s for.  Anybody? Bueller?  (Turn your head to the right) I have no clue what that’s for.

The first day was just dandy.  The drive out there is not that bad.  It would be a breeze if there weren’t no other cars on the road.  I could get there in about 25 minutes if it weren’t for everybody else trying to get to work at the same time. 

The Bossman (I’ll have to come up with a name for him as I get to know him better) is very pleasant, very confident and obviously knows his bidness. 

It dawned on me today, as I was driving back to the North side of the world, that one of the very worst job experiences I ever had was a preparation for this gig. 

It wasn’t the job itself I hated, but, the boss who hated the fact that I was alive, for some reason and made it her mission to make my life miserable for two years.  I was a Trade Sales Rep.  And dammit, I was GOOD at it.  Until now, that was the best paying job I had ever had.  The work was not hard, but, oh lardy, that woman that was my boss was just the bitch from hell.  (I don’t like to use that phrase to describe people, but she was). 

This was the era during my first divorce and she jumped all over me because divorce was against “God’s law” and all that jazz.  I am not lying.  She called me into her office to inform me of this.  My mouth dropped.  Because she felt that way about divorce?  NO.  Because she, herself….yep.  Divorced.  It’s a good thing I was strong in my faith at that point cause I’m here to tell you, those people would’ve been enough to make somebody turn atheist.   I didn’t turn atheist or nothing.  I ended up escaping leaving after two years to take a job at the same company that paid less and was ten times harder, but, I never regretted it at all. 

They used to make us sit through all these sales training things.  Good lordamighty…constantly, but, it did dawn on me today that all that misery was not in vain because I became familiar with the Sales culture that will once again be my day to day world.

My official title is “Consultant Coordinator.”  (Sounds faincy don’t it?)  Besides the regular Administrative Assistant sort of things, one of my biggest jobs is to help the boss create an “Office Culture.”  I  am to be a cheerleader/therapist/encourager to the sales people.  I get to plan shindigs and stuff too. (That’s where my training from the Gentleman Formerly Known As My Boss will come in handy)

So, because my office will be a place that needs to say “Come on in, sit right down”, I have to make it look like that.  I am clueless.

Oh…this isn’t decorating, but, you gotta see this.

This bottle of lotion is now at my fourth job with me.   You can see how much is left in it.   I’ve had that bottle of lotion for 3+ years.  I think I was still working for the GFKAMB when I got it)  I can’t believe it hasn’t run out cause I use it all the dang time.  It’s kinda like Willie Wonka’s Everlasting Gobstopper.”