I’ve had a little over 12 hours to let today’s Friday Bombshell settle on me. The pissyness of the whole thing has faded somewhat and I’m onto thinking about what’s next. It’s been a rather weird week all around and interestingly enough, I’m still breathing and I don’t see a gray cloud following me around.  

The whole week has really been rather humbling, which I suppose I needed after the whole car thing and getting inked…(or is that me once again, apologizing for living?)

Let me give you a little background on this gig, for those just tuning in….The Guy That Hired Me(who found me randomly out on the internets-I wasn’t actively looking for another job) was also new to this company, as were a number of other people.  He had been with another company that lots of people would recognize the name of if they heard it.   He got to this company through another one of the executive-types there that he knew from his former employment.  He told me, the day he interviewed me, that the Exec guy was a “good friend.”  Maybe he is, but, I never sensed a lot of warmth there.  I got the impression from the Git-Go that the other Executive Dudes seemed to keep a very defined distance from him. 

Guy That Hired Me (GTHM)…he seemed to be a nice guy. Very smart but a little too fond of Excel spreadsheets for my taste. 

I told him the day I interviewed with him, both on the phone and in person, “I am not an Excel aficionado.”  Now, I don’t know if he forgot that, didn’t hear me say it or what (I’ve been to a few trainings on Excel through the years. Excel is one of those things that if you don’t use it, you lose it.) Dude wanted EVERYTHING in Excel form. He had some anal things about him that I saw as a little “quirky” but hey, I love quirk. I get quirky. I can appreciate quirkly cause I are quirky my own self (but in a good way).

The Guy told me one day….”I didn’t hire you for your organizational skills; I hired your for your personality.”  I think that was a compliment, pretty sure.   I think the Guy had a specific agenda there that he thought, for whatever reason, I could help him accomplish.  I think he wanted to create a “culture” in that place because there didn’t appear to him to be one.  (That’s what he said to me anyway)

I think the Executives at this place (who all seem like genuinely good guys, though hard-assed) didn’t really give a flip about “culture.”  I don’t think they had anything against me personally (I got the feeling that the people in the office enjoyed having me around) but most likely, they would’ve not chosen to hire me , but, allowed this guy some leverage to come in there and bring what he wanted.  They wanted to give him the chance to do that, but, I was pretty unecessary there, bottom line.

  Really though, there was a culture.  A lot of the Hostessing with The Mostessing that GWHM had envisioned for me to do?  There was somebody else doing it.   I don’t know.  (Sorry, TW…I don’t know! Har) There was a real sense of walking on eggshells there because of fear you might be stepping into somebody elses territory.

The people that worked there, for the most part, I really liked and enjoyed getting to know HOWEVER, I noticed pretty quickly that there was indeed an absence of warmth, even though the people were nice.  I can’t really explain it.   Some of them, I REALLY liked but it wasnt at all a feeling of ever seeing these people as “family” like I’ve had in a number of other jobs.   That’s not important to everybody, but, I’ve always felt like if I’m going to spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week with my work, I sure as hell need to kinda like the people I work with.   That’s a big deal with me. 

At first, I sorta figured it was just because there were so many new people.   I was never 100% comfortable or sure exactly what was expected of me (other than to live by Excel).   Also, the fact that it was a strictly Corporate, totally a money making  kinda atmosphere(not that other jobs I’ve had weren’t about that) the kinda thing where it wasn’t about passion for the product but rather a competitive, kick ass thing…He Who Has The Most Toys Wins……after ten years of a “non profit”, “ministry” type of company and then 18 months of working for State Gubment, it was a very different vibe than I was used to.  These people were hardcore and obviously, very into what they’re doing. 

Now, the GTHM.  He’s really good at Sales.  It ocurred to me this evening that THAT is why it was all so appealing to me….he sold this gig to me and talked it up almost like a used car salesman to me.  He’s still at the company, from what I understand, however, he’s been demoted.  The problem was not so much me, but, in all fairness to the Guy That Hired Me, I may not have been what he thought I was.  Perhaps I sold myself pretty good?  I dunno. 

I don’t regret the whole deal …I saw a potential opportunity for myself that seemed to drop in my lap and I would’ve forever kicked myself for letting an opportunity pass (again).  You have to reach up and grab opportunities.  Sometimes stuff works and sometimes it doesn’t. 

 I’m sure there will be  some who will say “I had a feeling that was not gonna work.”  Fine…my sister had Gastric Bypass two years ago.  I don’t think I’d have chosen that route, but, I am not her.  She probably wouldn’t have gone to work for somebody that found her randomly on My Space, but, there…she is not a single mom trying to carve out an independent life for herself.  (I’m not saying the sister has said that to me…just an example) .

Between you and me though…the first few days I was there…the GWHM said he didn’t want the CEO Guy to know he had hired me from My Space…I think that kinda explains it, don’t you?

I’m not worried about getting another job.  I’m well aware of how crappy the Economy is at the moment and there are lots and lots of people outta work.  (Ironically, when I got home this morning, the news about unemployment being the worst it’s been in 34 years was all over the CNN. )

I truly live by the “Consider the Lilies” theory in the Book of Matthew.  If the little birdies and squirrels (and all the other animals are provided for…my Father will provide for me as well cause He says I’m a whole lot more important to Him than the birds or the flowers. There was a reason I was put at this particular place for about 7 weeks.  What that is, I do not know.  But I truly believe (don’t give a rip how cornfilled and cheese-like that may sound) that everything happens for a reason and there arent any coincidences in life.   That simple.  Maybe some think I should be a little more panicky but what is that gonna accomplish, besides raising my blood pressure?  Nada.

I’m kinda excited to see what’s next….

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