It dawned on me a little bit ago that it has been 17 years today since I last saw my father. 

I had turned 23 the week before he died.  At that point, he was at home with Hospice care and he was sorta in another place.  He was totally conscious but I guess when you get to that point in a terminal illness, you just go somewhere else, ya know?   He didn’t talk much.  He was pretty much existing.   I didn’t think about it a lot at the time because I was so occupied with a brand new baby and all that goes with that, but, we were there a lot those last weeks. 

On the day of my birthday, I randomly asked Dad from where I was standing in the kitchen (he was in the den) what he was doing 23 years ago that day.  I was kinda testing him to see how “with us” he was.   He paused a minute and said “I was sitting in the waiting room at Pacific Hospital waiting for you to be born.”   Heh. 

biff

I miss him more every year.  I’m grateful I had him as long as I did because medically, he was not supposed to live as long as he did.  He was not supposed to walk me down the aisle or see me with a kid, but, he did.  I wish he could’ve seen all 5 of his grandkids.  I wish he could see his kids in their 40’s (???).  

I’ve had numerous occasions just in the last few months alone, of people that knew Dad finding this blog, emailing me and sharing memories of him.  I love it when somebody remembers him.  Don’t ever be afraid to mention someones deceased loved one out of fear of making them sad.  Remembering keeps them alive…

Losing him so early in my adulthood was one of THE most pivotal, life-changing events of my life.  The loss was more than I can put into words and I still feel it on a daily basis.  My faith would not be what it is today had I not had that loss.  No question.  I had to look towards the Mack Daddy of Them All, my heavenly Father.  Because of my faith, I have no doubt where my Dad is today and that one of these days I’m gonna bump into him again. 

biff___one_of_his_treasures

I envy all of you who still have your fathers.  I know lots of father/child relationships can be quite complex and not everybody had quite as open and affectionate of a father as I did, but, even if you don’t see eye to eye with your old man or are uncomfortable talking to him or whatever….call him today.  Do it for me.

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