What a long week.  I’m so tired I can’t think straight. 

To dumb it down a little, the week began with me moving into the “Transition” phase of my new job. 

Now, I am not stupid.  I have done lots of the type of work I am doing now in my 23 years of working.  I’m good at it.  I learn quickly.  Let’s just say Monday was overwhelming and I came THIS close to escaping and running.

I didn’t though.  I wanted to.  Badly.  I was telling myself that it would make sense to run because after all, this gig pays squat and is entirely too demanding and stressful to not get paid enough to make my rent.  I went through lots of other things but the bottom line is….I can’t quit.  What would I tell my kids?  No more quitting.  That’s how I handled things in the earlier part of my life.  Thus, enabling myself to be a transparent, testicle-less, ninny baby.

My old friend Eric, after I posted some sort of whiny status on my Facebook told me to suck it up. Most people will say something nice and sweet but ol’ Eric put it to me straight.  He may have been kidding but I doubt it.  I do have to suck it up and shut up.

What made Monday worse was finding out moments into the work day that Mom has cancer again.  It’s supposedly localized and I guess that’s good. 

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were better workwise.  I felt better about it.  Then I had another bout of the Pity Party yesterday evening. 

It will all work out.  All of it.  I will look back on the first week of Transition and laugh at my overwhelmed-ness.  I will throw my hat up in the air ala Mary Tyler Moore and sing that I’ve made it after all. 

What else can I do?

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