Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 10:21pm | Edit Note | Delete
First of all, if you have parents still living (“Parents” can be broad…whoever wiped your butt, rocked you when you had fever, endured your eyerolls as a teenager, bailed you out of jail :cough Darrin: cough) you need to right now call them. Or text, email, Skype, whatever. Give em a shout and say howdy. It doesn’t have to be a “You’re The Best Mom/Dad Ever” conversation. Just do that right now. I’ll wait.

I’m serious. I’m waiting.


:Picking at fingernails:

Done it yet? No you haven’t…go on.

We’re still here on the Third Floor at Alive Hospice’s St. Thomas location. Hospice has got it going on. They do some fantastic work here.

They have volunteers like a lady named Nancy who kept an eye on Mom here for a bit while Tara, Ben and I went to Dalt’s and got us some supper. Nancy does not have to do this. Betchya money Alive Hospice was fantastic to her family at a time like this or maybe she just feels called to do a little something to help people out. Sandra needed to go rest this evening (which she should do).

The beauty of Hospice is you CAN get out, go home and let your little underbitten dog named Judi P. Tatootie out to go potty and lay down. If something should begin to change, they call you. They don’t call after the fact. They have people like Nancy who are here not cause they have to be but cause they want to be. It’s fabulous.

God’s been good today to give me some more presents in these last days with my mother.

Her best/good girlfriend Margie Bowes (who could and can probably still flat tear UP a song) came. They’ve been good friends for over 30 years. They’ve been through lots of stuff together. It was beautiful.

Trevor and Tara have been here with me today. Trevor was beginning to wear down and was ready to go so his Uncle Billy came and got him.

Billy has known my mother for 20 years. He came in her room to see her and her response to his being here was just plain wild. She spoke almost clearly. When he left, she said, stronger than anything I’ve heard her say today other than “WATER!”…”Thank you, Billy.” I think she was very touched that he came to see her. I know he was touched by her response.

After Billy and Trev left the room, Mom asked me where Trevor was. I told her he was going with Billy. I asked her if she wanted me to get him and she nodded yes. I caught them going down the hall and told Trev that Mimi wanted him.

Trevor came to her bedside, put his little hand on his grandmother’s and said “Yes, Mimi?” I don’t know what she was trying to tell him, but I would bet the farm that she was trying to tell him something in regards to his concern about Charles’ potential jealousy of Biff. I told Trev again that Mimi was going to go see Grandpa Collie and was there anything he wanted her to tell him. (Keep in mind, Trevor has Asperger’s Syndrome, mild form of autism. He is not sarcastic and takes everything literally) He said this:

“Tell him my name is Trevor and I said Hi.” Mom smiled and nodded. I also told Trevor that she was going to see Charles, Granny Boone, others….he said “Elvis…Michael Jackson.” She smiled again and mouthed “Michael Jackson.”

I talked with the Social Worker for Hospice this evening. They want to know about the person they are caring for-what they did for a living, what kind of personality they have, the names of the family members. The person in the bed is an individual; a real person with a real life. They do not view them as some semi-vegetable that’s barely hanging on. Very, very cool. Yet another thing that makes Hospice wonderful.

Mom’s work supervisor came this evening. She brought two uncashed checks they found in Mom’s stuff at work. After the mugging, Mom did not want to do Direct Deposit anymore. I guarantee you, she left those there on purpose, probably thinking we could use the money for something. I don’t know.

A number of her work peeps have been by the last few days. I don’t know these people but I can tell you it has been gut-wrenching seeing the sadness in their faces. They adore my little mother. She adores them. It’s fabulous.

Ben came up this evening. I know it’s hard for him to come around all this. His own mother’s passing from cancer is still so fresh. Yet, he’s here. He took Tara and I to eat and then by Target. We talked about the irony of all this…

Mom had said to me in the last few weeks how she hadn’t been to my new place and she wanted to get over there and see it. She said “You moved just about the time my back started hurting.” BUSTED! She was hurting for quite awhile then cause I moved August 30. Ben’s mother died on August 31. Ben and I were first made aware of each other through (his Baby Mama and former wife) Melissa on his birthday, September 22. We went on our first date on September 24 and knew right away we had found something rather special.

All of these things…I can’t imagine getting through this without Ben’s support, love, and being able to share his experience with me. God knew what I was going to need (and what Ben was going to need) come January 2010. We said on our second date that it was like we’d found our most favorite pair of blue jeans in each other…comfortable. Home.

I also see an irony in the passing Saturday of Carl Smith. Carl was a longtime friend of Dad’s. They went back to the early 50’s back when both were married to their first wives. They traveled together on the Philip Morris Show in 1957. Goldie was also a friend of Dad’s and later became a close friend and confidante to Mom. Two of Carl’s kids Dean and Lori Lynn are dear friends of mine and Sandra’s. Always been something special between us. I hated that I did not get out to Franklin for Carl’s visitation and funeral.

Tonight she’s still talking here and there. Asked why she’s not remembering anything.

This sucks.