I have decided that there will be no more attempts at Hallmark moments at the bedside. Me and Mom don’t roll thataway anyway and it IS kinda silly to get all like that now.
Mom told me when I was about 14 that she knew how I thought cause she thought the same way so she was always a step ahead of me. This is still true, even today with our current circumstances in place.
There were things I didn’t say to my Dad that I’ve sorta regretted plus, when you see somebody you love suffer and struggle like this, you want them to understand that you’re ok with them going.
I told Mom today she was “good to go” and she said “Go where? What are y’all talking about?” We told her she could go home if she wanted to. “When?” Whenever you are ready. She said “Let’s go.” We were laughing about it and Mom said “I don’t think that’s that funny.”
Mom was not speaking of that “Home in Gloryland that outshines the sun”. She was speaking of her little house in West Nashville.
I wonder what’s going through her mind in those moments she’s awake? I wonder if she’s caught glimpses yet of the Skyline? Her face makes movements, like one does when they’re dreaming. I can’t help but wonder. I sho ain’t gonna ask her though cause she will set me straight.
Mom is a private person (yes, I realize I’m documenting these steps of her journey with y’all. I didn’t mean to do this, it’s just sorta happened) and there’s lots of parts of her life that she has never shared with us. I mean, look at that gorgeous woman there…that young woman in the photograph was not a girl who had a hard time getting a date, I tell you that right now.
she’s mentioned things in her life like being present when Eddie Miller and Don Sessions wrote the classic “Thanks A Lot” and writing the words down for them as the song was being born; the time James Garner winked at her in the Phoenix airport; sitting at a table at the Foothill Club in Long Beach with Patsy Cline;seeing Hank Williams, Sr. perform in her hometown of Alexandria, LA; The thrill of seeing people like Kitty Wells, The Wilburn Brothers and a ton of other country music legends in shows that came through Lousiana and then, many years later, getting to actually KNOW these people and hang out with them; waterskiing with a young musician named Glen Campbell; she worked at McDonnell Douglas Aircraft (as did her father), a bank and for the phone company; she remembers when they were filming one of my favorite movies “It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World” on the street in Long Beach; And those are the things she’s told us. There HAS to be a lot more.
She’s going to carry lots of things with her when she checks out. That’s perfectly fine. I’m sure she’s not going to reveal certain Heavenly secrets beforehand. I think even with her impending transition, she is teaching us much the same way she taught us (or didn’t teach us) certain things growing up: by learning for ourselves and walking our own journeys.
Ultimately, that’s what we all do in life, isn’t it?