Posts from the ‘No They Di-Int’ Category

Sista Doodles With The Po’-Leece

One would think after my soapbox speech about the importance of having your CURRENT proof of motor vehicle insurance on you some months back, that I would be near ’bout obsessive about it, right?

Heh. Wrong.

I have been driving for 23 years.  I have only been pulled over three times in my entire driving career (never for speeding, mind you).  Today was the time I was thrice pulled over and it was for a brake light being out.  Ok…fine.  Got a warning. 

I think the Po’-leece-man,  young and cute as he was, is perhaps kin to Barney Fife.  Being called “Ma’m” is something…I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it (unless it’s partly in jest or something) but when he said “Do not driiiiiiive off far any ray-zun”….like I was gonna? I was a tad insulted.   I guess they have a problem with peoples doing that sorta thing.

My other favorite part of the whole experience was when Doogie Fife said this to me…he came back to the car and I was trying to find the current insurance card…he said “M’am..if you could just pay attention to me for just a minute.”  HA.  Ol’ Doog’ picked up on what’s up with your Sista, didn’t he?  I guess I underestimated the Po’leeeceman.  Do they train them in the Academy to spot hard-core drug dealers, child molesters AND those with ADD?

I hand him my insurance card…all proud and stuff and Barney, Jr. points out that the damn thing expired March 21, 2008.  So, I have the HT call her father and he says “I thought I put it in there.”  If it was there, I didn’t find it.

I still got off with a Warning.  Have to send them a copy of said insurance card.  Still aggravated me.

Oh…and I’m watching that movie Juno?  I’m not even halfway through it and dadgum, I love this movie.  My favorite line so far, courtesy Rainn Wilson/Dwight Shrute:

That’s one doodle that can’t be undid, Homeskillet.


Sinking To A New Low


We have this new guy up here in the office.  Young…23 years old.  He got hired in a pretty good job, especially for a kid just out of college.  He started last week.  Remember that.  Last week.

Dude shows up this morning….comes into my cube and shows me a note that says “Can you call Donna and see if she needs me to pick her up?”  I said “What’s wrong with your voice? You lose it or something?”

Then, he points to this sign on his person:

Now…lookie here…I don’t think we need to discriminate against our Gay and Lesbian bretheren and sisteren.  I am for real about that.   I hope that this observance today accomplishes what they want it to.  We don’t need to discriminate against nobody.  This is not the point.

He’s been here a week.  A week.  His job involves lots of talking.  I’m stunned that he actually thought he could come in here this morning and get away with that?  Especially since he and Donna have to go out and about and do official bidness. 

He came back over here a little later and wrote down “They told me I can not participate.  So I have laryngitis.”  I told him “I knew that wasn’t gonna fly.”

Now Donna….she is an RN.  She has seen and done everything.  She is slightly jaded and a lot cynical.  I so wish I coulda seen the look on her face when this guy communicated that he would not be speaking today.  HA and HA.  Even funnier, she has to spend the day in a car with the guy.   I bet she’s gonna talk a lot during that car ride.  About her baby chickens she’s fixing to get.  I wish there was a video surveillance camera in that vehicle to capture the hilarity that will surely ensue.

My prediction…before the day is out, he won’t have a job.  I’ll keep you posted.

Something else funny just overheard in my office by the RN that sits on the other side of me…”Well look..I have a drawer full of stomachs, diapraghms and cervixes.”   As if to say….”The sky is blue.” 

Didn’t none of this sorta stuff go on when I worked for the Baptists.