Posts from the ‘Let Me Tell You About My Chiluns’ Category

Coulrophobia Is Real

I’ve never been one to have a Clown Phobia.  I don’t quite understand it but then again, I’m sure there’s people who suffer from such affliction that don’t understand my  strange fear of mice and rats. 

Anyhoo, today I had to get gas at the Hendersonville Mapco.  I’m putting the gas in my vehicle when an SUV pulls up to the pump next to us and I notice there’s a clown behind the wheel.  I didn’t think anything of it because of course, you see a clown getting gas everyday at the Mapco, yes?

While I’m pumping gas, one of the clowns walked over to my car and tapped on the window, promptly scaring my daughter out her wits.  Foster was along for the ride (it’s getting to become a habit that when we get in the car, Le Pup is with us) and I think Mr. Clown was tapping at him, maybe. 

 He said to me  ” I think I mighta scared her.”  Ya think, Homey??

I told them I had to get a picture and when I looked at it later, I realized that something about these two screams John Wayne Gacy


I shouldn’t be like that to the Shriner Clowns we saw at the Mapco.  Clowns need to gas up their cars, too, right?

More Puppy Love

My churrens spent part of their Spring Break visiting their paterfamilias kin out in North Carolina and weren’t here when the Boy Dog showed up.

I think it’s safe to say that my kids dig the Boy Dog. What do you think?




I want it noted that I haven’t seen a gleam in my Baby Girl’s eye like this in awhile. 

The Manchild is all about some Boy Dog too, it just wasn’t photographed. The MC is one of those that animals are sorta drawn to and this was no exception. 

I’ll put up more pictures of #2 and Le Pup later.  As I expected, those two are just too cute together.


What’s new?

  1. 2 has become a Pogo Stick King.  Something about seeing a kid pogo sticking brings joy to my heart.  Ah, to be able to aimlessly jump up and down, not a care in the world. 

Over dinner with my kids this evening, this conversation was heard…(Do note that names have been changed to protect the Guilty)

  1. 2 says: “Did Potential-Hoodlum-That-You-Two-Sometimes-Hang-Out-With have to go back to jail?”

Both the Manchild and the Manchild’s Sister looked at him much like Marcia Brady used to do Cindy when she tattled.  “Nice going.”

You know what my favorite part about the kids going through this Stay-With-Dad phase is?  Secrets!  “Let’s not tell Mom this because she will be pissed.” 

Ok, let’s pick this apart, shall we? 

Why would Mom be opposed to my Darlings being friendly with Butthead-Down-The-Street-Who-REALLY-Likes-The-Feel-Of-Handcuffs-Round-His-Wrists?   Hmmm….maybe it has something to do with that time I caught him destroying my neighbors Christmas decorations?  Or the time I caught him destroying an election sign in my yard?  And any number of other times I’ve caught this kid in the act of THINKING about doing something he isn’t supposed to?

He has asked my kids “Why doesn’t your Mom like me?”  Ummmmm…..let me count the ways.

I can always count on #2 to fill in the blanks.  I think stuff like this is the reason they like to stay at Dad’s more than Mom’s.  Oh Lord Jesus, rock my babies…

Oh, how I wish I could elaborate on some funny things I hear at my workplace.  Oh heavenly day…everyday I learn something new and it don’t have to do a THING with work. Next time you see me, axscht me.

And on another un-related note…I got to visit a tad with my oldest/newest close friend, Eric the Brilliant Singer/Songwriter/Film-maker  a week or so ago.  (This is him with our other school chum, the most wonderful and amazing John.  (I still have a hard time calling him “John” for he was “Johnny” to me from First Grade on.  ericjohn

Y’all know my Old School Chums are people I’m quite sentimental and mushy about.  Guys like these are dear to me in a way I can’t quite explain and being able to re-connect with the likes of them has been a huge gift.  Something about knowing people pre-puberty and to be able to sit down with them and remember the Good Ol’ Days at 40 is just plain wonderful. 

ANYHOO, I say all that to lead into telling you how you too can own your very own copy of Eric’s amazing movie “Everyone But You” that I have watched now probably 20 times.  Listen to me people…it is THAT good.  Go get you one.  You will thank me profusely for the suggestion of adding this to your dvd collection.  

Eric is one of the nicer guys around and you will absolutely fall in love with him, his songs and his cool metal house out in the middle of  Wherethehayellisthat, Colorado?  I’m not gonna shut up about how much I love this movie and how these songs of his are what the Nashville Hacks Cats SHOULD be singing.  If the mainstream public could have a chance to hear this stuff…

Today Is Tuesday

Today is Tuesday, you know what that means…we’re gonna sing a Tuesday song!

I wanted to be a Mouseketeer SOOO bad at one point. I’m not talking 70’s Mouseketeers or Justin Timberlake Mouseketeer….I wanted to be one with Karen and Cubby, Annette, Tommy, Cheryl, Jimmie, Bobby and Cissy….no wait…Cissy was Bobby’s partner on Lawrence Welk. ANYHOO, I wanted to be one.

Oh, and I need my medicine. I haven’t filled my ADD medicine that I’m out of because it is expensive and I dont have insurance at the moment. I’m liable to zip from one subject to the other at the drop of a…..

My old friend Eric sent me a copy of his documentary Everyone But You.  It is my mission to make sure everybody sees this movie, especially my own kids who have dreams of making a life in music.  This thing is so brilliant and beautiful and real, it should be required viewing for all the music biz students at every college in the country.

There were so many things in this movie that made me laugh so loud and then there were several things that made me cry.  After nearly 20 years of being married to a recording artist/musician/songwriter/etc./etc so many things in this hit home with me.  And on the other hand, my own self, being a stifled, frustrated artist…I totally got it.

I’m so proud of Eric for doing this and I hope he’ll keep hawkin’ it even though he has to work for food and stuff.  It inspires the crap outta me.  Thank you for sharing it, mah friend. 

I had the thought today, too…what if I get a Booty Call and they get a busy signal or no answer?  Just sayin’….

Ok, lets see what else?  Oh…look at this picture of my beautiful daughter:


My new favorite piece of music I heard today?  Tu Vo Fa L’Americano by the Puppini Sisters.

Oh and the best news I got today?   I start working Monday.  Thank you, Jesus.

I Think They Miss Me

Late yesterday afternoon, there was a knock on my door.  I was thinking that maybe it was the X with #2.   Tara was coming over to my Cross-The-Way-Neighbor’s to do something and I figured he was bringing the boy by. 

I opened the door and it was Tara.  She has been sickly the last couple days with the Crud but even so, she looked so cute.  She had on one of her signature Hoodies and this cute hat I’d never seen her wear before.  She had this little smile on her face that I haven’t seen in awhile. 

It is well documented that I am as nutty as a Snickers and I’m sure she would deny it but there was something in her smile that said she was glad to see me and maybe she thought for a second about hugging me like she used to do when she was a little thing and she was so attached to me. (Tara, if you’re reading this, just let me dream, ok?)

Then, later last night, I took Tara back to her Dad’s.  Drove in the driveway and #2 was jumping on the trampoline.  (#2 during his Trampoline Jumps is one of the funnest things in the world to watch)  I walked over to the trampoline and hugged him around his legs.  He said “Mom…you’re suffocating my legs.”  Heh.

Went inside to say hi to the Manchild.  He was sitting at the computer, holding his guitar…he was sickly with the Crud last week so I was glad to see him sitting upright.  Everytime I saw him last week, he was lying prostrate making horrendous nasal/bronchial sounds. 

I went back outside to leave and #2 was still jumping on the rampoline.  He had the EXACT same little grin on his face that his sister had earlier when she appeared at my door.  The exact same one!

I said “#2…you are glad to see me aren’t ya?”  He was trying  not to bust into a huge smile because he is 10 and is trying really hard to not be My Baby Boy anymore.  I told him Tara was glad to see me eariler and he asked “What about Tyler?”  I said “Well, I’m sure he was thrilled on the inside but he never turned around and looked at me.”
This made #2 laugh and it did me.

It made me warm and fuzzy.

Random Thursday Babbling


So I had a second interview today.  I want to tell something funny about it but I’m scared to.  I’ll tell it later.  Or email me or something and I’ll tell you.  HI-larious.

Lord help us all…I have discovered Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease videos on OnDemand.   That is some good exercising. 

I took #2 to the Walgreen’s and bought what is probably the last Valentine cards for school that I’ll ever have to buy.  I got a little wistful but it lasted all of about 2 seconds.  I’ve been buying these things since 1997.  They don’t even have “parties” anymore. 

Speaking of #2, he is growing up on me.  I mean, he’s getting taller and just looking older.  He’s doing so well and has come such a long way.   016 He told me tonight he wants to wear “short-sleeved” pants to school tomorrow.  Cracked me up.

Not only did I turn 40 this week, but, so did Jennifer Aniston and tomorrow, my dear friend since high school days, Patrick, hits it.  Happy Birthday, MAN!  I was gonna send you a birthday card (why I asked for your address) but thus far, the card is sitting here on my desk. It’s the thought that counts.

The Facebook Obsession continues….somebody posted this photo today and it makes me laugh.


Check out those Cymbal Playahs there….that one in the middle in the hat is especially hot.  Heh.  Just looking at that picture makes my hair automatically go into “Hat Head” mode.  Ick.

Lunch Date

I had a wildhair to go have lunch with #2 today and I’m glad I did.  He didn’t know I was coming.  

#2 has reached the age where it is very much NOT ok for me to show him any sorta display of affection in public.  I didn’t think he’d ever take that route or that he’d be the one of my three kids not to but he sorta has and it’s ok.  (I forget this is his last year of Elementary school.  I can NOT imagine him in middle school next year.  Good grief)

I think he was happy I showed up.  Walking into the cafeteria, he said to “Brad”, who is apparently the Class Clown, “Hey…Brad….that’s my Mom.”   Heh.   Then he’d introduce me to various kids…”That’s my Mom”…in his own, special, #2 way. 

I shouldn’t be surprised that none of my kids want me to touch them or hug them.  I haven’t hugged my mother since the day of my Dad’s memorial service and didn’t hug or kiss my Dad at all the last decade of his life.  Yes, I feel bad about that.  Yes, I wish I weren’t so funny about my personal space.  Can’t help it.  (Mom isn’t much on touchy feely in her space, neither so it’s not like either of us feel the other one doesn’t love us). 

Anyway, if you want to giggle, have lunch with Fifth Graders.  They’re just funny.


The one little girl there across from #2 with the brown hair, Kayla, is the sister of the Daughter’s boyfriend.  It’s so interesting how girls want to know info way more than boys.  Kayla was asking me ALL sorts of questions or really, it was more telling me things about myself and my kids that she has heard from her brother.  It made me laugh.  “So you live where? In Franklin?”  No….went to high school there.  “Oh well, Brother said he thought you lived in Franklin.”  Heh heh.  Sounds like a conversation I have with people being nosy about stuff. 


I don’t guess it will come as a surprise that from this table here, a very large belch erupted out of this bunch of boys.  It was so loud, it sounded like it would’ve come out of somebody’s Paw Paw.  It echoed throughout the chambers of the cafeteria, weaving in and out of the plastic lunch trays as only a burp by a 10-11 year old boy could.  Fabulous.

The Belch Boys started mugging for me…


“Hey Trevor’s Mom…put this in the yearbook.”  

0032#2’s good buddy Stone couldn’t resist the Rabbit Ears.


I wish I’d have taken a shot of the kids who were forced to sit along the wall by themselves.  I asked the kids if those were the kids being punished and they said yes.  They didn’t look like they were being punished to me!  Those kids were just laughing and having themselves a big ol’ time. 


My blue-eyed, dark-haired, freckle-faced boy is the best there is…’cept for the other dark-haired, blue-eyed, freckle-faced, bigger version that’s also my son.   I don’t guess he would want me showing up at the high school to have lunch with him.