Posts from the ‘Sumner County’ Category

Coulrophobia Is Real

I’ve never been one to have a Clown Phobia.  I don’t quite understand it but then again, I’m sure there’s people who suffer from such affliction that don’t understand my  strange fear of mice and rats. 

Anyhoo, today I had to get gas at the Hendersonville Mapco.  I’m putting the gas in my vehicle when an SUV pulls up to the pump next to us and I notice there’s a clown behind the wheel.  I didn’t think anything of it because of course, you see a clown getting gas everyday at the Mapco, yes?

While I’m pumping gas, one of the clowns walked over to my car and tapped on the window, promptly scaring my daughter out her wits.  Foster was along for the ride (it’s getting to become a habit that when we get in the car, Le Pup is with us) and I think Mr. Clown was tapping at him, maybe. 

 He said to me  ” I think I mighta scared her.”  Ya think, Homey??

I told them I had to get a picture and when I looked at it later, I realized that something about these two screams John Wayne Gacy


I shouldn’t be like that to the Shriner Clowns we saw at the Mapco.  Clowns need to gas up their cars, too, right?

See Ya, Dan…

I’m so sad to hear this morning that singer/songwriter and my fellow longtime Hendersonvillian, Dan Seals has died.  

I first remember Dan as part of England Dan and John Ford Coley.  This song was HUGE when I was a kid.  I still love it and it’s on my Ipod.

When I worked at the Country Music Hall of Fame in the 80’s, they had a tape player that played current country hits over and over and over and over and over…….Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Tanya Tucker, Earl Thomas Conley (gawsh I love him) and Dan. Everytime I hear any of those tunes, I’m transported back to the old Hall of Fame with the REALLY ugly mural on the wall.

I was always partial to Dan’s “Addicted” and then this song….a little heavy on the corn, but, I think a great song and a great recording…anything written with or by Bob McDill is always so visual…”Everything That Glitters” is no exception.

Sunshine….Makes Me High



God outdid Himself this morning.  Glad I didn’t miss it.

Don Helms

The last of Hank Williams’ Drifting Cowboys and my fellow Hendersonvillian and nice man, Don Helms died today.

Back To Skoo

Exciting day.  #2 went to see his new teacher AND see his brand new school building for the first time.

I’m still kinda bummed they didn’t name it John R. Cash Elementary.  I guess I’ll get over that eventually.Pretty tickled that #2 has the same 5th grade teacher his sister had.  Mrs. Morris is my absolute favorite teacher of all the teachers my three kids have had. 

I still haven’t processed that my baby has only one more year of Elementary skoo before he head to Middle School next year.  Or that I have a Junior and a Freshman.

Sista-Your Action News Reportah

We had a thing at the church this morning to kinda kick off the summer.  It was all lots of fun (even though it was hotter ‘n Hades out there). There was people jumping Bungees…Cute kids stuffing their faces with cotton candy…

The Holy Tara’s feller even showed up.

Just one of them All American sorta events where everybody’s happy and all is right in the world.


You hear what sounded like a fender bender.  Then you think an animal got hit by a car.  Then you hear a human scream from the ditch and you realize that was no dog that got hit by a car, but, a real human.

Even more disturbing was that 911 was called and I bet it was 10 minutes before the first police car and firetruck showed up.  The ambulance didn’t show up til probably another 10 minutes after they got there.  Somebody explain to me why I see tons of ambulance types at the Chik Fil A nearly everytime I’m there and where in the crap were they today?

The yellow firetruck there?  That’s the Shackle Island Volunteer Fire Department’s truck.  THOSE guys were the first responders to this situation.  Why?  Because they were at the church giving rides to the kids.  I’m glad they were there and they jumped into action waiting on Hendersonville’s Finest to get there.  Gah.

The poor man was hurt pretty bad.  I know his leg was jacked up and they were fearful there were some internal injuries.  I heard him moaning and hollering and I just felt horrible for him.  There he was, walking on the street, beautiful day….hit by a Gold Explorer that DID NOT EVEN STOP.  The poor man flew through the air and the asshats didn’t even stop. 

THEN, I get home from the shindig at the church and there’s po-leece in front of my house and people standing around.  Obviously, the DRAM-uh was not contained to Indian Lake Rd. today, no sirreeee. I asked the Po-leeceman what had I missed in front of my house?  Apparently, a tree decided to fall, hitting power lines, knocking out some people’s power.  Our power stayed on (praise you Jesus) but all my  neighbors weren’t so lucky with that. 

The people standing in front of my house, watching the Cumberland Electric guys do their thing were a little more of the variety of “Pardon me sir…did you see what happened?  Yeeeeeeeuh, I deee-ud…..”  Boogity, boogity.





Sista Doodles With The Po’-Leece

One would think after my soapbox speech about the importance of having your CURRENT proof of motor vehicle insurance on you some months back, that I would be near ’bout obsessive about it, right?

Heh. Wrong.

I have been driving for 23 years.  I have only been pulled over three times in my entire driving career (never for speeding, mind you).  Today was the time I was thrice pulled over and it was for a brake light being out.  Ok…fine.  Got a warning. 

I think the Po’-leece-man,  young and cute as he was, is perhaps kin to Barney Fife.  Being called “Ma’m” is something…I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it (unless it’s partly in jest or something) but when he said “Do not driiiiiiive off far any ray-zun”….like I was gonna? I was a tad insulted.   I guess they have a problem with peoples doing that sorta thing.

My other favorite part of the whole experience was when Doogie Fife said this to me…he came back to the car and I was trying to find the current insurance card…he said “M’am..if you could just pay attention to me for just a minute.”  HA.  Ol’ Doog’ picked up on what’s up with your Sista, didn’t he?  I guess I underestimated the Po’leeeceman.  Do they train them in the Academy to spot hard-core drug dealers, child molesters AND those with ADD?

I hand him my insurance card…all proud and stuff and Barney, Jr. points out that the damn thing expired March 21, 2008.  So, I have the HT call her father and he says “I thought I put it in there.”  If it was there, I didn’t find it.

I still got off with a Warning.  Have to send them a copy of said insurance card.  Still aggravated me.

Oh…and I’m watching that movie Juno?  I’m not even halfway through it and dadgum, I love this movie.  My favorite line so far, courtesy Rainn Wilson/Dwight Shrute:

That’s one doodle that can’t be undid, Homeskillet.