Posts from the ‘Work’ Category

The One Where I Sound Like Eyeore

I wish I could get my pal Holly to write me a blog post.  She is so incredibly gifted at writing about deep things that frankly, I’m not always smart enough to totally get what she’s saying, but, it’s always so poetic and gorgeous, even if what she’s relating   may not make her feel so poetic and gorgeous.  (That was a mouthful, wasn’t it? See how un-coordinated I am?)

I’m totally overwhelmed this evening. 

First on my mind, is my mother’s upcoming surgery.  It is scheduled for next week.  I’m not sure if it will happen because she is fighting some crud. 

She called me last night, voicing concern over her crud and the impending surgery.  I don’t think I was able to comfort her and I feel like a horrible daughter.  I can’t stand to hear my mother have fear or sadness in her voice.  She and I both have a tendency to mask our pain and because we aren’t ooey-gooey affectionate with one another, I didn’t know what to say to her but my gosh…I can’t stand for my mother to be scared, sad, or anything like that. 

In other news…work? Totally sucks.  Trying to avoid being victim-ish, but, in a word, it’s a horrible job and I’m totally beating myself up for giving up my State job back in the fall for the higher paying job.  I’m sure there’s some deep lesson to be learned but you know what?  F&#k deep lessons.  I’ve bout had it up to Here with deep lessons.  

This has been a season of crap and I know it will pass.

On the Upside…Foster is fun and makes me laugh…

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Suckin’ It Up

What a long week.  I’m so tired I can’t think straight. 

To dumb it down a little, the week began with me moving into the “Transition” phase of my new job. 

Now, I am not stupid.  I have done lots of the type of work I am doing now in my 23 years of working.  I’m good at it.  I learn quickly.  Let’s just say Monday was overwhelming and I came THIS close to escaping and running.

I didn’t though.  I wanted to.  Badly.  I was telling myself that it would make sense to run because after all, this gig pays squat and is entirely too demanding and stressful to not get paid enough to make my rent.  I went through lots of other things but the bottom line is….I can’t quit.  What would I tell my kids?  No more quitting.  That’s how I handled things in the earlier part of my life.  Thus, enabling myself to be a transparent, testicle-less, ninny baby.

My old friend Eric, after I posted some sort of whiny status on my Facebook told me to suck it up. Most people will say something nice and sweet but ol’ Eric put it to me straight.  He may have been kidding but I doubt it.  I do have to suck it up and shut up.

What made Monday worse was finding out moments into the work day that Mom has cancer again.  It’s supposedly localized and I guess that’s good. 

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were better workwise.  I felt better about it.  Then I had another bout of the Pity Party yesterday evening. 

It will all work out.  All of it.  I will look back on the first week of Transition and laugh at my overwhelmed-ness.  I will throw my hat up in the air ala Mary Tyler Moore and sing that I’ve made it after all. 

What else can I do?

I Kinda Liked This Monday…

I did something today I haven’t done in three months…I got up and went to work! I was a happy camper to have somewhere to go today. I did go off and forget to take my ADD medicine though and other than a headache, luckily, it didn’t affect me too bad since it was your typical, Orientation, where you mostly sit and listen. 

Thank ya all for your kind words, prayers and encouragement over the last few months. I especially want to thank my agent, His Sarcastic-ness

I’m in a Training class of 10 people.  I like to think of it like we were the Finalists ala American Idol.  It started out with some 350+ people applying for these positions.  It was narrowed and narrowed and according to HR Guy….we were the “Cream o’da Crop.”  Most of us victims of lay offs.  I am grateful indeed.  More than I can tell you.

So, I have to show you something great on a totally different subject matter (Did I mention I went to work today without taking my ADD medicine?)

  Now, I know I impress with my name-dropping and such. I love to brag about how I went to school with the likes of Ashley Judd, Jeff Cease (formerly of the Black Crowes, and now my newest oldest pal Eric…..well, I think my two teens have me  beat.

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I did not know until this evening, that the Manchild and his sister are schoolmates of Cousin It’s grandson!  Black Crowes, movies…..pshaw!  That right there is just plain cool.

And How Was YOUR Friday?

I’ve had a little over 12 hours to let today’s Friday Bombshell settle on me. The pissyness of the whole thing has faded somewhat and I’m onto thinking about what’s next. It’s been a rather weird week all around and interestingly enough, I’m still breathing and I don’t see a gray cloud following me around.  

The whole week has really been rather humbling, which I suppose I needed after the whole car thing and getting inked…(or is that me once again, apologizing for living?)

Let me give you a little background on this gig, for those just tuning in….The Guy That Hired Me(who found me randomly out on the internets-I wasn’t actively looking for another job) was also new to this company, as were a number of other people.  He had been with another company that lots of people would recognize the name of if they heard it.   He got to this company through another one of the executive-types there that he knew from his former employment.  He told me, the day he interviewed me, that the Exec guy was a “good friend.”  Maybe he is, but, I never sensed a lot of warmth there.  I got the impression from the Git-Go that the other Executive Dudes seemed to keep a very defined distance from him. 

Guy That Hired Me (GTHM)…he seemed to be a nice guy. Very smart but a little too fond of Excel spreadsheets for my taste. 

I told him the day I interviewed with him, both on the phone and in person, “I am not an Excel aficionado.”  Now, I don’t know if he forgot that, didn’t hear me say it or what (I’ve been to a few trainings on Excel through the years. Excel is one of those things that if you don’t use it, you lose it.) Dude wanted EVERYTHING in Excel form. He had some anal things about him that I saw as a little “quirky” but hey, I love quirk. I get quirky. I can appreciate quirkly cause I are quirky my own self (but in a good way).

The Guy told me one day….”I didn’t hire you for your organizational skills; I hired your for your personality.”  I think that was a compliment, pretty sure.   I think the Guy had a specific agenda there that he thought, for whatever reason, I could help him accomplish.  I think he wanted to create a “culture” in that place because there didn’t appear to him to be one.  (That’s what he said to me anyway)

I think the Executives at this place (who all seem like genuinely good guys, though hard-assed) didn’t really give a flip about “culture.”  I don’t think they had anything against me personally (I got the feeling that the people in the office enjoyed having me around) but most likely, they would’ve not chosen to hire me , but, allowed this guy some leverage to come in there and bring what he wanted.  They wanted to give him the chance to do that, but, I was pretty unecessary there, bottom line.

  Really though, there was a culture.  A lot of the Hostessing with The Mostessing that GWHM had envisioned for me to do?  There was somebody else doing it.   I don’t know.  (Sorry, TW…I don’t know! Har) There was a real sense of walking on eggshells there because of fear you might be stepping into somebody elses territory.

The people that worked there, for the most part, I really liked and enjoyed getting to know HOWEVER, I noticed pretty quickly that there was indeed an absence of warmth, even though the people were nice.  I can’t really explain it.   Some of them, I REALLY liked but it wasnt at all a feeling of ever seeing these people as “family” like I’ve had in a number of other jobs.   That’s not important to everybody, but, I’ve always felt like if I’m going to spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week with my work, I sure as hell need to kinda like the people I work with.   That’s a big deal with me. 

At first, I sorta figured it was just because there were so many new people.   I was never 100% comfortable or sure exactly what was expected of me (other than to live by Excel).   Also, the fact that it was a strictly Corporate, totally a money making  kinda atmosphere(not that other jobs I’ve had weren’t about that) the kinda thing where it wasn’t about passion for the product but rather a competitive, kick ass thing…He Who Has The Most Toys Wins……after ten years of a “non profit”, “ministry” type of company and then 18 months of working for State Gubment, it was a very different vibe than I was used to.  These people were hardcore and obviously, very into what they’re doing. 

Now, the GTHM.  He’s really good at Sales.  It ocurred to me this evening that THAT is why it was all so appealing to me….he sold this gig to me and talked it up almost like a used car salesman to me.  He’s still at the company, from what I understand, however, he’s been demoted.  The problem was not so much me, but, in all fairness to the Guy That Hired Me, I may not have been what he thought I was.  Perhaps I sold myself pretty good?  I dunno. 

I don’t regret the whole deal …I saw a potential opportunity for myself that seemed to drop in my lap and I would’ve forever kicked myself for letting an opportunity pass (again).  You have to reach up and grab opportunities.  Sometimes stuff works and sometimes it doesn’t. 

 I’m sure there will be  some who will say “I had a feeling that was not gonna work.”  Fine…my sister had Gastric Bypass two years ago.  I don’t think I’d have chosen that route, but, I am not her.  She probably wouldn’t have gone to work for somebody that found her randomly on My Space, but, there…she is not a single mom trying to carve out an independent life for herself.  (I’m not saying the sister has said that to me…just an example) .

Between you and me though…the first few days I was there…the GWHM said he didn’t want the CEO Guy to know he had hired me from My Space…I think that kinda explains it, don’t you?

I’m not worried about getting another job.  I’m well aware of how crappy the Economy is at the moment and there are lots and lots of people outta work.  (Ironically, when I got home this morning, the news about unemployment being the worst it’s been in 34 years was all over the CNN. )

I truly live by the “Consider the Lilies” theory in the Book of Matthew.  If the little birdies and squirrels (and all the other animals are provided for…my Father will provide for me as well cause He says I’m a whole lot more important to Him than the birds or the flowers. There was a reason I was put at this particular place for about 7 weeks.  What that is, I do not know.  But I truly believe (don’t give a rip how cornfilled and cheese-like that may sound) that everything happens for a reason and there arent any coincidences in life.   That simple.  Maybe some think I should be a little more panicky but what is that gonna accomplish, besides raising my blood pressure?  Nada.

I’m kinda excited to see what’s next….

I Think She Likes It

Co-worker flies into my office yesterday afternoon, out of the blue (remember, I don’t know these people that well yet and I don’t know her very well)   She appears at my door and this woman (about 50ish) who I thought was very reserved and took herself very seriously says:

“That car is f$*@#ing AWESOME.” 

After all the years I worked at the Baptist Place, I forget that kinda talk can be said freely at most other places.  She didn’t whisper it or mumble it….said it out loud.  Loved it. 

Make no mistake…the folks at the Baptist Place said it…often.  They just whispered it. 

Something TOTALLY unrelated and random…I was watching that movie Failure To Launch last night with Matthew (Yum) McConahey (how do you spell his name? Who cares?)   I’ve seen it before but that Terry Bradshaw….I think he’s one of the funniest people around.  Obviously, he plays himself pretty much in that movie but my gosh….I laughed so hard at him I thought I was gonna pee my britches.

Blackberry Cobbler?

019I’ve never seen so many Blackberries in one place.

First Day

Y’all…I need some help.  Some decoratin’ help.  I am not a decoratuer.  At. All.  I need help decorating my office. 

Dig, if you will….my new Daytime Digs, won’t you?  It’s not huge, but, it’s an office, not a cube.

There’s a tall shelf, the same color as the desk, to the right of the desk there. 

 

Then, there’s this thing, that I’m not quite sure what it’s for.  Anybody? Bueller?  (Turn your head to the right) I have no clue what that’s for.

The first day was just dandy.  The drive out there is not that bad.  It would be a breeze if there weren’t no other cars on the road.  I could get there in about 25 minutes if it weren’t for everybody else trying to get to work at the same time. 

The Bossman (I’ll have to come up with a name for him as I get to know him better) is very pleasant, very confident and obviously knows his bidness. 

It dawned on me today, as I was driving back to the North side of the world, that one of the very worst job experiences I ever had was a preparation for this gig. 

It wasn’t the job itself I hated, but, the boss who hated the fact that I was alive, for some reason and made it her mission to make my life miserable for two years.  I was a Trade Sales Rep.  And dammit, I was GOOD at it.  Until now, that was the best paying job I had ever had.  The work was not hard, but, oh lardy, that woman that was my boss was just the bitch from hell.  (I don’t like to use that phrase to describe people, but she was). 

This was the era during my first divorce and she jumped all over me because divorce was against “God’s law” and all that jazz.  I am not lying.  She called me into her office to inform me of this.  My mouth dropped.  Because she felt that way about divorce?  NO.  Because she, herself….yep.  Divorced.  It’s a good thing I was strong in my faith at that point cause I’m here to tell you, those people would’ve been enough to make somebody turn atheist.   I didn’t turn atheist or nothing.  I ended up escaping leaving after two years to take a job at the same company that paid less and was ten times harder, but, I never regretted it at all. 

They used to make us sit through all these sales training things.  Good lordamighty…constantly, but, it did dawn on me today that all that misery was not in vain because I became familiar with the Sales culture that will once again be my day to day world.

My official title is “Consultant Coordinator.”  (Sounds faincy don’t it?)  Besides the regular Administrative Assistant sort of things, one of my biggest jobs is to help the boss create an “Office Culture.”  I  am to be a cheerleader/therapist/encourager to the sales people.  I get to plan shindigs and stuff too. (That’s where my training from the Gentleman Formerly Known As My Boss will come in handy)

So, because my office will be a place that needs to say “Come on in, sit right down”, I have to make it look like that.  I am clueless.

Oh…this isn’t decorating, but, you gotta see this.

This bottle of lotion is now at my fourth job with me.   You can see how much is left in it.   I’ve had that bottle of lotion for 3+ years.  I think I was still working for the GFKAMB when I got it)  I can’t believe it hasn’t run out cause I use it all the dang time.  It’s kinda like Willie Wonka’s Everlasting Gobstopper.”