Archive for July, 2006

From The Mailbag

I was most pleased over the weekend to get my love note from my friends at Hendersonville Hosptial telling me my recent mammogram showed that my mammaries were in tip top shape. I knew they were, but, it’s nice to know that part of myself is healthy. I’m glad I didn’t chicken out and not go through with it. Proactive with ones health is a good thing.

So now, I’ll get on my soapbox and remind everybody that they should get theirs done, too. If Sista Smiff (the biggest baby in town) can be a big girl and get it done, so can you. You know who you are.

Here We Go Again

My daughter’s best friend was taken back to the hospital last night. Her blood pressure went up again (150/126) and she was having trouble seeing like she did before. . The Daughter was over at her house when she started feeling bad. She asked her if it felt like she was going to have a seizure and she said “Kinda.” I told her that was the best thing that could be done and that she was in good hands, but, she (and we) are still pretty jumpy about it.

The final determination is that she had/has a strep infection in her kidney. I’m thinking maybe they haven’t nipped the infection yet and tried to explain to my daughter that just like strep can relapse when you have a regular Strep Throat thing or other infection and this is probably what’s happening.

I’m not a medical person and I certainly don’t know. I don’t want my girl worrying needlessly, but, I have to admit, I’m concerned about Shelbi and a little fearful that something else may be going on. I’m telling myself the infection is just being stubborn. The last I heard anything was a voicemail late last night from Shelbi’s mom saying they were going to the ER.

As Busy Mom says, if you pray or whatever your thing is, throw some prayers/thoughts Upward for Shelbi.

***Update They did a CAT Scan and some other tests last night and sent her home. Everything’s looking ok. I was talking to a lady here whose niece had this same thing a few years ago and she said she ended up being ok, just took awhile for her kidneys to work right again. Scary stuff that you can get an infection in your innards like that.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like…

Went to eat at Cracker Barrel tonight and not only are they all decked out and ready for Halloween, but, they have all their Christmas section all fixed up. It’s not even August yet.

I love Christmas and all that goes with it but, for the love….I’ve got to get through Back to School and all that expense before I can think about what Santy Claus is bringing!

Not One To Go ‘Round Spreading Rumors

I just can’t get enough of this Ginghampalooza that is Hee Haw. I mean, what other show has an instrumental, featuring Roy Clark of course, with a steel guitar AND a tuba??? Huh? HUH?

Charlie McCoy…the little harmonica player. Great musician. Apparently, not a great husband. I know his former wife, the mother of his children. They divorced many years ago and one time, I asked her if Charlie remarried …her answer? “Oh yeah. He’s been remarried a long time. Might as well have….he’d only been DATING her for 10 years!”

Say what you want about Hank Williams, Jr. I bet he’s the only guest that ever did an armpit fart on “Pfft You Were Gone.”

Surprise..Roni Stoneman did not get better looking with age. She did, however, get that cocked eye fixed, thanks to one June Carter Cash. Pretty sweet of her…didn’t help, sadly.

Besides starting that backwards overalls fashion craze, Buck Owens appeared on my most favorite game show?

With a war going on, what the world needs now is more eefin’ and eyefin’.

Those people on Hee Haw shore nuff had them a good gig. They’d come to town twice a year, tape for a couple weeks and it made them all pretty wealthy folks.

Live Bloggin’ From The Kornfield

What a treat it’s been to indulge in one of my favorite guilty pleasures, watching multiple episodes of Hee Haw on CMT today. A few thoughts for you….

Misty Rowe and Lisa Todd are still a mystery to me (and still irritating). Other than the obvious boobage, did the menfolk really find these two babealicious?

Maybe I did miss out on a great thing not getting to know Buddy Alan a little better when I had the chance.

Were there ever as many toupees in one place as the Kornfield? Maybe on the set of a Bill Gaither Homecoming video taping, but, that’s about the only place I can think of that would rival the Big Hee. That fiddle player, Tommy Williams’ wig oughta go in some sort of Rug Hall of Fame, along with Hank Snow’s and Jack Greene’s.

Knowing Lulu Roman was once a go-go dancer (for Jack Ruby, no less) is simply more disturbing than I can express here.

Beauregard (real name Buford)the Dog was the nastiest dog I have ever been face to face with. I had an encounter with this hound in the backyard of his owner, Joe Hostettler, who worked on the show. That was THE most slobbering, stinkingest dog. His stinkiness is what got him fired. That is no joke. (Dog lovers, simma down. I love dogs too, but, even Aunt B would deem this dog nasty)

How unbelievably wonderful it was to see the late Ben Smathers and his Smoky Mountain Cloggers doing their thing. That one brought back memories. Daughter/dancer Candy now travels with Gretchen Wilson and does her hair and makeup.

Just what was that blue and yellow liquid in the bottles in Archie’s Barber Shop and notice didn’t nobody leave there with a haircut?

As time went on, The Hager Twins attempted to have separate identities. They had different lengths of their Toni Tennille haircuts circa 1980 and grew mustaches. You can tell the Hagers apart because Jim’s head is slightly smaller than Jon’s. I do love me some Hagers, now.

Barbi Benton’s singing along with the Hee Haw Gospel Quartet was intriguing to me. Reckon she learned “There Is Power In The Blood” at those All Night Gospel Singin’s at the Playboy Mansion with Hef?

The Kornfield was not the same after the deaths of Junior Samples and Archie Campbell. Pfft You Were Gone just didn’t have the same comic effect with Celebrity Spitters like Reba McEntire. I must say though, John Anderson tenoring Buck on the chorus was probably, vocally, the best “Where oh where are you tonight” that ever was. It was also not the same after Buck left. Incidentally, Larry the Cable Guy owes some props to Junior. **Later, I did see George, Tammy and Archie to a three part trio on “Where Oh Where” and it was pretty doggone good, too.**

Animated pigs dancing while Roy Clark sings is just plain funny. I don’t care who you are.

George Jones wearing a two-tone, denim, leisure suit, accented by a huge, white, turtleneck, is quite a sight. I imagine that was Tammy’s doin’s. On this one particular episode, I’m figuring it was about the time of the famous “Lawnmower Incident” because you don’t see George without Tammy. She was probably afraid George would slip out and go chasing women with Archie Campbell. And Tammy Wynette’s hair during this era…could best be described as a “Hairdo With A Hard-On.” Tammy looked exhausted around 1974 and with good reason.

Who knew “May The Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose” done as a chorale by the whole Hee Haw Gang could be so fraught with mirth and merriment?

Laverne Nagger, aka Roni Stoneman, is one of the funniest characters ever on tv, however, she always seemed to have a sinus issue, as she was constantly picking at her nose.

Somebody explain the Hee Haw Honeys, lying in the background on the porch, rubbing their legs together with Junior and Grandpa Jones lying down on the floor,in the foreground, sipping moonshine. They always looked very sleepy. Why is this? What is the implication here?

One episode, about 1979, featured the Palmetto Square Dancers, and one of the dancers was a pudgy, teenaged boy, grinning like crazy and it was probably because his white pants were deeply embedded in his ass-crack.

I do kid and poke fun at Hee Haw, but, do not mistake how I love this show. No, it did nothing to make Nashville look uptown, but, it’s a classic.


“Biff Collie Interview – Live” – Elvis Presley: “This afternoon, #1 Son and I decided that we’d get on the stick and get the kitchen cleaned up. We’ve had an afternoon of bonding through clutter and music. #1 has been enlightening me with stuff he likes…The Foo Fighters, System of a Down, Disturbed, Blink 182 and I’ve introduced him to music from the Olden Days like Violent Femmes, ZZTop, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and then there’s stuff we both love….Stevie Wonder (how many 14 year olds even know who he is?) Ray Charles, Johnny Cash and Elvis.

#1 and me normally don’t have much opportunity to bond (the fact that he’s 14 should explain that right away) but I have thoroughly enjoyed my firstborn this afternoon. I’m quite proud of the fact that he knows good music when he hears it and I do dig some of his musical heroes of today (cept the angry, hollering ones).

We’ve took turns looking on Rhaposdy for stuff we want to listen to and #1 says ‘Look for some Elvis.’ The first cd that came up on Elvis is one that features the first ever, known live recording of the King.

Imagine my surprise and sheer delight to see the first track is an interview done with my Dad about this event. I’ve always known Dad had a tiny part of the King’s rise to fame and I’m sure I heard him tell it, but, obviously, didn’t pay a lot of attention. So one, to hear the historical background was pretty cool.

Two…and even more so, to hear my dad’s voice and his look-alike grandson’s expression to hear his grandfather’s voice for the first time (telling something as cool as this) was a neat little present. (“So, you mean Grandpa was THERE?”)It’s like it hasn’t been a week since I heard him talk.

***I think the deal is, if you have Rhapsody you can hear the clip. I also have turned #1 onto Def Leppard….He has found out the intro to “Pretty Fly For A White Guy” came from “Rock Of Ages.” I think he thought the “oonta gleetun gloutin globin” was exclusive to those born after 1990. Heh. This is fun.

I Gotta Be Me I couldn’t sleep night before last a…

I Gotta Be Me

I couldn’t sleep night before last and got to watching Jimmy Kimmel. Robin Williams usually cracks me up, but, he REALLY did on this because he did a Sammy Davis impersonation. I’m a sucker for any Sammy imitation. Maybe it’s cause it was late and I was slap happy, but this had me screaming laughing. Robin’s imitation isn’t as good as Billy Crystal’s or Tommy Davidson’s, but, it’s not bad.

There’s a part 2 of this interview too that was funny, but, I’m not posting it. Go look at it if you want.

More Sadness in Hendersonville

Hendersonville has had too many losses of kids this spring and summer. Another one happened yesterday morning near Beech High School. I don’t have any relationship with this family, however, I do work at the same place his dad works and see him on a daily basis and I see he and his family out and about all the time. Matt tells more about Nathan here.

My daughter was with her friends yesterday. Her dad had ok’d her to go with them, but, didn’t have the complete wheres and whats of what they were doing. She didn’t understand why I called her and wanted to know specifics. Someday she will.


A little bird gave a heads up on this last weekend.


But It’s Nobody’s Fault

Thunder Jones has found Nashville’s perfect Margarita.

I am intrigued by his findings. In my intrigue, I have to admit, and this is probably un-American, un-Bloggerly or something, but, I have never, ever had a Margarita.

So, tell me, what makes a good Margarita and should I ever take that plunge, how will I know if it’s good or not?

Pfft You Were Gone


It is going to be one hellatiously, Hee Haw kind of weekend. The nice people at CMT are going to be showering us with old episodes of Hee Haw Saturday night.

It appears that most of the episodes are from the 80’s, although there are some from the 70’s. I want to see some Junior Samples, Culhanes and Hagers. (Something about the Hager with the tambourine singing “Here I am, stuck in Lodi again”) I want to see Grandpa Jones tell us whats for supper, Roy Clark as “Claude Strawberry” reading some poetry, Buck and Roy pickin’ and grinnin’ and see Roni Stoneman beat Gordie Tapp over the head with a rolling pin. What a show.

I hope that our pal Chez Bez and his mom get a chance to watch so they can get a peek at his step-dad, the legendary Bobby Thompson, back when he was in his prime, when he was THE Banjo Cat. Some of y’all are laughing at the thought of those words being used in the same sentence. You don’t usually think “banjos? Cool cats?” Heh. Do some research on Bobby. ‘Cause he was sho nuff the coolest cat to ever do a three-finger roll. Posted by Picasa

Flippin’ Sweet

Are you familiar with Chet Flippo? He’s a renowned music journalist, historian, author whose writing I love and whose opinions I really respect. He’s a soft spoken, rather unassuming character that I’ve had the pleasure of sharing Thanksgiving with the last two years. (His wife, Martha Hume, is no slouch in the music writing department, either) Chet’s resume is about 100 miles long, having been a senior editor for Rolling Stone magazine, he traveled with THE Rolling Stones…. Very cool guy.

Chet has a weekly column at that I look forward to reading every Thursday.

Call me crazy and I certainly mean no disrespect to Mista Flippo but his current column, talking barbecue and music, reads like a blog. I love it.

I wonder if he’s been peeking into Nashville Is Talking? (Chet, if you happen to read this, I hope I haven’t offended you, comparing writing greatness with us lowly bloggers)

Thursday at the Mothership

Wonder Dawg has blogged a rundown of today’s Porkapalooza with pictures.

Lord, Mister Ford

Reading Mista Kleinheider’s hilarious story about Congressman Ford’s Playa status, made me think of my brief brush with him about a year and a half ago.

Mr. Smiff and group were on the Opry with Dolly. Also scheduled to be present at the Opry that particular evening was Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld (That is his title isn’t it?) They held a reception in the back and there were dignitaries out the wazoo. Everywhere you looked there was some such celebrity from Whisperin’ Bill Anderson to Jim Cooper to Little Jimmy Dickens to my former Hallbrook neighbor, Marsha Blackburn (back before she was nothing more than the head of the Brentwood Muffia).

In order to go into this little soiree, they had to have your name a number of days before to clear it through the Secret Service, or whoever that stuff goes through. I would bet that was probably the easiest background check they ever did when they ran Sista Smiff through.

Anyhow, I was standing in the line, waiting to get into this happenin’ party. Suddenly, I felt this hand on my back and hear this voice, not quite Barry White, but, just about as suave say “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, you beautiful specimen of a woman.” Ok, he didn’t really say that last part but he sho nuff looked at my nametag. I babbled something like “Oh I’m sorry”, although I doubt it came out that coherently when the Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Ford said “You are fine.” I was pretty taken with those pretty green eyes of his and felt sorry for him that he was kin to all those other Fords. That one uncle of his is ALWAYS pissed. Everytime they show him on tv, he’s madder’n a hornet at whatever reporter is trying to talk to him. Mista Ford has got it going on. Made me swoon. I think we need a Playa in office. Makes things interesting.

By the way, Rumsfeld is very short.

Smiffy Me


I have a “helper” at work today. Dad is on the road and #2 wanted to come to work with me. I’ve printed him a bunch of Sponge Bob, Spiderman, and Scooby Doo pictures. That should keep him occupied about 3 minutes. He’s looking forward to lunchtime at the Mothership because he can see the funny bathrooms again.

#2 loves to come to work with me. I can’t imagine why because thus far this morning, I’ve told him to sit down and hush more times than I can count. He’s already christened my office by breaking wind….he’s been to the bathroom already, co worker Bonnie has lent him her little basketball goal so at this moment, he’s throwing a ball, making noise, reminding me it’s going to be a long day. Then again, I can remember as a kid, the times when my dad had an away office, when he worked at United Artists and Capitol Records. I would LOVE to go down to his cool office with the secretary and then…in his office…he had his very own little refrigerator stocked full of cokes and stuff. There was something magical about Dad’s office. I guess it’s like that for #2. I’ve been working here since before he was born and here in a bit, we’ll go around “viztin” so people can see how he’s grown, etc. Mom and Dad’s work can make a kid feel special to get a little attention and just to get to step into their world a little bit.

Relax, Sista. Enjoy your 8 year old. Posted by Picasa