Archive for April, 2007

Found ‘Em

I’m at lunch, Stacy Campfield, so there.

I’m tickled to report that I figured out where to get my shot record and official GED test scores.  Yay.  Incase it ever comes up, go to who gave you your shots.  I called good ol’ Dr. Lentz’s office (he retired last year) and they’re looking for them and the nice feller at the Adult Education place told me where to fax my request so there.  Wasn’t so complicated after all.

Why do I want this stuff is the burning question?  I’m trying to get me some more edjumakayshan.  The fine folks at Vol State want to make sure I don’t have cooties before I commence to some book learnin.  Obviously, I don’t have smallpox or nothing.  I’m still walking around.  

I told the lady on the phone at the old doctor’s office that I know for a fact I had shots cause they always had to hold me and Gastrica both down to stick us.  It was the blood taking out of the finger that was the worst.  They’ve come a long way with that, but, remember how that mo fo used to hurt???

Gastrica and me did not like the doctor, not one bit.  One time, she jumped in the back of the station wagon, as the folks pulled into Dr. Dubisson’s office, trying to escape (like where was she going to go, out the back window?) and she cut her leg  up bad.  I think she still has the scar. 

To this day, anytime I drive in Green Hills back there behind where Cain Sloan used to be and get close to that old office, I get butterflies in my stomach.  That is no lie.  Thank goodness the practice moved across the street.  Maybe I won’t be so skeered when I go pick up my stuff.   



I wish Jerry Reed came out more often. Definitely one of the more cooler of the Nashville Cats and truly talented. If you ever see Mr. Smiff, he has a funny Jerry Reed imitation you’ll have to get him to do. 

Funny thing I remember about Jerry Reed is we went to the same church as he did back in the early 70’s.  This was many moons ago, back in the thick of his success with “When You’re Hot You’re Hot” and right before the Bandit stuff.  He wasn’t there much, but, when he was, during the singing part…he never opened his mouth.  I’ve found that lots of singer types don’t open their mouths in church.  I’ve worshipped alongside many a country singer and the only one I’ve ever seen open their mouth to sing during congregational singing is William Lee Golden.  Ok, I take that back, Sharon White Skaggs sings  in church and Ricky will too.  He doesn’t sing out really loud or nothing cause he knows that would look funny, however, as good a part singer he is, I don’t think anybody would mind.   

 The tall backup singer on the right…I do believe that is a young Ed Bruce before “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys” made him a bajillionaire and before he got his first taste of Texas.  That woman is the famous Anita Kerr. 

I love me some GIT-tar Man.

I Need To Axt You A Kwerstun

Y’all always come through when I have silly questions and I have another ‘un for you smart people:

Where in the Sam Hill could a person obtain their immunization record?  My mother says she doesn’t have it.  I really don’t care to complete my MMR series again.  The only place it could possibly be is in my baby book, which I have somewhere.  Where it is is the big question.  Do you know where my baby book is?

Another one…I took the GED in 1987.  I took it at Pearl-Cohn High School.  I have to get the official score from the testing agency.  I don’t hardly know where to begin to start finding that one.  I know some of y’all will know the answers to these burning questions.

Farrin No Mo’

Attention ladies and gentlemen…

The DQ is no longer in possession of a farrin object in her eye.  The fabulous and wonderful Dr. Steve Johnson (who has just got hisself some new patients in a couple Smiff Kids) sent her down to Nashville to the equally fabulous and wonderful opthamologist, Dr. Johns and with her nifty gizmos, she numbed the DQ’s eyes right on up, put dye in it and got that little, teeny piece of whatever it was out.  Amazing how something that tiny can cause such problems.   DQ noticed Dr. Johns didn’t get the orange dye all over her eye, making it look like she had drawn on herself with orange magic marker, thus making the other child patrons in the waiting room stare in awe.  I reminded her that Dr. Johns does nothing but eyes whilst Dr. Johnson deals with a little of everything with the various chilluns in his practice. 

Anyway, I’m glad the farrin object is gone.

Hazel continues to improve.  She gave the DQ a necklace today that she said she was going to wait and give her when she dies.  It’s a lovely, gold chain.  The DQ texted me to tell me about getting it.  I texted back that that was very sweet.  She replied “Yeah, it was, but, it would’ve been a whole lot sweeter had she not had a towel on when she gave it to me.”  Heh. She is so her mother’s daughter. 

The King is Coming

I haven’t been watching American Idol much since early on cause, well, it just got boring to me. 

We happened to have it on there for a minute last night and I tell ya what, Celine and Elvis gave me the shivahs.  Fantastic.  So much so, I downloaded that sucker on the ol’ Ipod.  I love that song anyway. 

It all makes me wish the Kang were still around cause I think stuff like AI is something he would love. 

Go Charlie, Go!

I love Charlie. I love his posts about the way life in Nashville used to be when it was not much more than a small town.  His perspective is wonderful and his storytelling abilities are the best.

Charlie had a “Grand Opening” on the same day as Hazel’s surgery.  That could be why I missed seeing anything on it, but, here it is, not even two weeks post-op and he’s posted on his great blog.  Go give him a pat on the back, but, easy, he’s just been operated on.

How Was Your Day, Dear?

I feel so disconnected with the Blog World.  I miss getting to blog all day and read everybody else’s blogs.  I’m going to have to get on that Google Reader so I can keep up.  Don’t leave me, dear Readers.  I will never leave you, nor forsake you….who said that?  Oh yeah…the Good Lord  Himself.  Heh.  

Things just get calmed down with Hazel (who, by the way, is on her way back to normal cause she called Mr. Smiff this morning and when I went to see her at lunch, she was at the table doing the Sodoku puzzle) when something else nutty goes on. 

The Drama Queen started complaining of her eye hurting Sunday evening.  Yeah, yeah, another excuse to get out of school.  It was red and looked like Pink Eye.  It got a little worse and then yesterday evening, I took her over to the Minute Clinic.  They said it looked like PE and gave her some drops. 

Well, this morning, she calls me about 10:00, crying, saying her eye was really red and swollen and hurt like hayell.  (She didn’t say that).  I called our regular doc and wouldn’t ya know, they only work half a day on Wednesdays (they knew I would be calling). 

I called a local pediatrician’s office that a lot of people we know take their kids to and got in this afternoon. We only had to wait a scant 30 minutes and good lord, there were lots of screaming, squealing toddlerish types in there.  That was the hottest place in town to be today, apparently.

I saw this ol gal I recognized from a couple years ago at the YMCA there with her pack of younguns.  I don’t know her name, but, I remember her so well cause one night as I was on the treadmill, she starts yackin.  I mean, before I went home, I knew her entire history….her husband was riding her tail cause he thought she was fat (she wasn’t) and she told me she was OCD.   She went on and on about her OCDness and I thought she was full of it UNTIL I saw her at the Y swimming pool later that summer. 

Unfat Girl was not kidding that she was OCD.  She had all her kids shoes lined up under the chair starting from biggest to smallest…all in a row.  Today, she was just a’messin’ with some sort of list that looked like that crap Russell Crow was scribbling in A Beautiful Mind.   

So anyway, back to DQ’s eye.  The doc looks in her eye and wasn’t able to tell right off what was going on so he puts this numbing stuff in her eye, then some orange drops and comes in, turns the light off and shines a purple light in her eye.  I should’ve taken a picture.  It looked like something out of a horror movie.

He could see a tiny little speck in her eye, but, he couldn’t tell if it was a scratch on the cornea or a foreign object.  So, I get to take her back in the morning (Did I mention Mr. Smiff was on the road today and will be tomorrow as well?  I love this part about working full time with a road hog of a huzbin.) and if it’s a foreign object, I’ll have to haul her to an opthamologist to get said potential farrin object out. 

Oh, and did I mention that my insurance doesn’t kick in until May 1?  Oh, and that if that eye starts hurting her tonight really bad, I am to bypass any local ER and take her straight to the Vanderbilt ER?  Have I mentioned to y’all that I’m sick and tarred of Vanderbilt Hospital?

A good point of the day was when my one boss gave me this gorgeous, little flower arrangement and plopped a sausage biscuit on my desk from McDonalds first thing this morning.  I thought that was some kinda sweet, specially since I’m new and all.  My other girl I work for, Carol Ann, who is so much like Newscoma, it’s scary was all upset cause she forgot it was Administrative Professionals Day.  She signed the card Valerie gave me, but, she was all feeling bad about herself.  Everytime she saw me today, she’d hang her head in shame.  She kept apologizing for giving me a little job to do first thing this morning.  “Hello?  This is my job” I told her.  Still, I dig having a boss that doesn’t throw crap at me or stand over me while I work.  (I had a boss who used to do that and that same boss would print out every single email she sent and put it in our chair.  It was insane)  The Gentleman Formerly Known As My Boss, however, is still a hard one to beat for coolness.   I think he will be glad to know I have good bosses though….right GFKAMB????

Then, my direct supervisor comes to me and says “I need to see you at 10:00 in Conference Room B.”  My heart sank cause I thought for sure I had made a terrible faux pas of some sort and it was so bad, she had reserved a conference room to tell me I was axed or something. 

I stood at the fax machine trembling imaging Phil Bredesen showing up to give me my walking papers.  I could just see Gov. Phil shaking his head at me.  I pictured John Wilder shaking his finger in disgust at me.  I even thought Stacey Campfield might show up to go “Neener neener neener….I busted you!”  Then, I remembered I haven’t been blogging on taxpayer time.  Not since a week or so ago anyway.   Then, I hear the Boss Lady tell another person the same thing she told me.  Whew. 

That little stinker gathered all of us Support Folk to tell us how awesome we are and all this.  She gave us gift cards to Olive Garden.  Not bad for a new girl.  Take that, Campfield!

Story Time

Now that I’m back working and really making good on my vow to be self disciplined and not get on the internet unless there’s a major 9/11 type disaster (3 days down.  Go Sista), I’ll have to probably do cluster blogging.  I’m amazed at how well I’m doing with that.  Like trying to get off food (which I’m not doing so good with of late) its something akin to withdrawing from crack.

I have a story.  I hope it will come across here half as funny as it was when it was told to me.  This was a story of Rex L. Camino proportions that sounded like something he would tell.  (Is Rex still alive?)

Anyway, I have this new co-worker, Dave.  Dave is hilarious.  Dave started at our office the same day I did.  He and I got taken around and introduced to everybody together.  That day, we had our polite, Hi-how-are yeeeew faces on.  I’m here to tell ya…Going on 4 weeks of sitting next to each other, those masks have come off.  He’s about 6’4, 250, looks like a professional football player…a big ol’ boy.  He’s not one of these people that’s funny in “Hey, look at me” kinda way.  He’s very low key with his humor and he can tell a story just about better than anybody I’ve run across.  I told him he oughta pick up where Jerry Clower left off.  He’s that funny.

I was telling Dave about #2 and his Asperger’s Syndrome.  Dave’s wife is either a physical therapist, no, she’s an Early Intervention specialist, so he knew what AS was.  I mentioned how #2 has a little tic or two and he sometimes makes little noises.

Dave’s in laws, including his wife, all have a funny little characteristic.  When they are excited  or about to tell something great, they’ll rub their hands together really fast and clench their teeth in a anxious kinda smile. You know what I’m talking about?  The whole clan does it.  He has a 22 month old daughter and here a week or so ago, SHE did the tic and he about fell out.  When his father in law tells a joke, he’ll do the hand rubbing, jaw clenching smile and do a little hop with it. 

Well, Dave’s wife has a first cousin, “Dougie” who is a severely autistic, young adult.  When he told me that, I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.  Not because the boy is autistic, but, because his name is “Dougie.”  Not Doug, Douglas….but “Dougie.” Could he have a more disability sounding name?  Almost like “Troy” or “Travis.” 

Dougie has made a lot of strides with his autism and knows everything there is to know about vacumn cleaners.  I’m learning a lot about autism of late and I tell ya….most people that have it, from one end of the spectrum to the other, are brilliant and have amazing talents like that.  Remember how Rainman could memorize the phone book? 

But, back to Dougie….he also has the family tic, according to Dave.   When he gets excited, instead of rubbing his hands together in front of his body, he lifts his hands OVER his head and rubs them together. 

I wish I had a video of Dave telling the story so you can see how funny it is. I had big ol’ tears rolling down my face when he told that the other day, I swear.   That’s part of what makes it so funny is Dave telling it.  I might have to video him telling it and blog it.  He went all over that office telling the story of Dougie, causing pants wetting laughter in his wake.

In all seriousness, I’m learning more and more about autism everyday now that the reality is there for #2.  It’s a relief to finally have some answers, but, there is also that thing of “I wish I’d have known this before” so he could have been getting the help he needs all along.  That sort of thinking does not do #2 any good, so luckily, I’m not beating myself over the head with that one. 

I remind myself that I am the one who first picked up on the possibility that #2 might have AS.  Even his degreed out the ying yang ADHD specialist at Vanderbilt didn’t suggest it first.  I brought it up to him.  I’ve done lots of reading this past year on the subject.  I put the pieces together that everything I was reading about Asperger’s described my kid to a t.   This is not to pat me on the back.  I’m just doing my job as #2′ mom.  I’d walk to California and back, barefoot on blacktop to see that this boy gets every opportunity in life.  I’ve always said that he was special because he was the unplanned, surprise kid. 

I met with the Special Ed teacher, the principal, the school psychologist and #2’s teacher today and the ball is rolling for his evaluation and official diagnosis to begin.  It’s really amazing how well he’s done without intervention for Asperger’s all this time.  I think a lot of that goes to the wonderful support he’s gotten from all the teachers he’s had so far (except his kindergarten teacher who totally didn’t get him) and I know without a fact, God has His big hand on my baby boy.  All this is working together to meld him into the wonderful human being he’s becoming.  He blesses everybody he comes in contact with, as I’m sure Dougie does in his life. 

Don’t Look At Me In That Tone of Voice, Young Lady!

This whole Alec Baldwin yelling at his kid….lookie here…I don’t usually go around sticking up for Alec Baldwin.  I think he’s a great actor,  and I so love him on 30Rock, but, he’s one of those that makes my ass want to chew tobacco when he gets on his soapbox.  HOWEVER….

This outrage at him yelling at his kid on the phone?  And the problem is….?  Calling her names is not good, but, hello?  Reality calling.  The ones that are so outraged probably only have dogs in their houses and no kids.  

It’s a nice idea to think that we all handle conflict with our offspring in our best Georgette voices….”Ok…honeee….let’s settle deeeown eend talk about this.  What’s bothering you?”

I’d bet the farm that the Baldwin Princess probably could use a good mouth warshing.  I bet she can roll her eyes with the best of them, although I doubt anyone is in the same eye rolling league as my Drama Queen. I am so proud.

Point is….I bet Alec is a good dad.  Those Baldwins are known for their fiery tempers.  Hopefully, he’ll get a handle on it.  I doubt that is going to make little Ireland any more nuts than she would be in the first place.

Big Day

Hazel is coming home today!  Yay!  Not only is she coming home, she’ll be comin’ round the mountain in a limo!   I know she’ll be glad to get in her own bed and not have people poking her constantly and waking her up to give her a sleeping pill.  She’s still got a long way to go to be back 100%, but, she’s come a very long way. 

The biggest challenge for her, at this point, is getting that diabetes under control and checking her blood sugar regularly and following directions. 

Thanks again for your love and concern. 

Midnight Flyer

Fun little clip from long ago of The Osborne Brothers. Let’s see, there’s young David Crow and his full head of hair, a very thin Uncle Bobo, Mr. Smiff, also sporting a lot more hair that was still brown, the late Gene Wooten and Bobby’s hat. Heh.

Corn, Ducks and Blood Sugar

The Drama Queen has spent the weekend taking part in Disciple Now, a church thing where the kids stay in different homes (like a big slumber party) and do other activities. 

Yesterday, about noon, she calls me and says “Do you have a can of corn?” Say what?  Lots of things she’ll call and ask me, but, asking if I have a can of corn is a new one.  The theme of the Disciple Now is “The Amazing Race” so, appropriately, they were on a scavenger hunt.  I looked in my cabinet and there was a can of corn.  I went outside and waited for them to come by and get it and I kid you not, the vehicle didn’t even stop…the window came down, a hand came out, in went the can of corn and that was that.

I succesfully prepared supper for the middle school girls and like everybody else who eats it…the Peanut Butter Gooey Butter Cake was a smash.  They were also digging Sista’s cheese fries and I made them Sloppy Joes.  It’s a wonder I got it done by 5:30, but, I did (never mind I had goo all over my britches). 

Oh…I went to my friendly, neighborhood Kroger yesterday and I noticed a duck sitting on the grassy area in the middle of the parking lot next to the Cart Catcher.  I didn’t think anything about it because there’s a pond across the street and ducks often end up walking around the parking lot.  Thing was, this duck was sitting there in this tiny little area of grass, betwixt all the cars.  I went up closer to look at it, and dadgum…this was a Mama Duck and some little ducklings.  All the eggs weren’t even hatched yet.  They said there were 13 eggs.  I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.  Of course, I didn’t have my camera with me cause the DQ has it with her and my phone was dead so I couldn’t take pictures of it.  I had the bright idea to call News 2 and tell them to dispatch one of those video journalists out there to get this on film cause this is so human interest. 

Apparently, cause it was such a pretty day, all the Channel 2 VJ’s had taken the day off.  Bill, the news desk guy, said the only camera he had available was at a soldier’s funeral in Tullahoma.  I guess that is a little more newsworthy in the scheme.  I hope Mama Duck is still there today…if she is, I’ll cover it for you.  I’m telling ya, it’s wild! 

As for Hazel-Friday night, I stayed with her and she took an Ambien and slept some kinda good.  She slept through getting her blood pressure taken, which was amazing cause she HATES that cuff.  She looked so good yesterday morning and was the most herself she had been since all this started.  The doctors came by and said they’d let her have some solid food and started talking about home. 

Mr. Smiff was up there all afternoon yesterday and after all this trouble in trying to get her blood sugar down, it was TOO low.  If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

I slept off and on from about  6 yesterday til about 7 this morning.  I woke up long enough last night to listen to Mr. Smiff and them on the Opry.  There’s something REALLY COOL brewing for them that I can’t talk about yet.  As soon as I can, I’ll tell ya.  It’s good stuff.


That TGIF is pronounced just as my late Uncle Huey, from Colfax, LA would say it.  Whew! Boy howdy, it’s been a long week and I can’t remember a Friday I was so glad to see in a long time.  We’ve made it though.  We’re all in one piece.  Hazel no longer has the tube in her nose and had some broth this evening.  (Woo hoo!)  I haven’t been up there today yet, but, knowing her the way I do, I’m sure she’s in a much better frame of mind. 

We did get some news we’re not so crazy about.  It looks like she’ll have to have a little radiation, however, it could be worse.  Just a few cancer cells had spread. It can be dealt with. 

  I remember with my Dad how important attitude is when you’re dealing with cancer.   When he went for his 6 year checkup for his prostate cancer, the doctor showed him his chart where he had intially given him a 3 year prognosis.  He lived for 9 years.  I know part of that had to be because he had a good attitude.  I’m sure there moments of fear and uncertainty, but, he was amazing.  After watching Hazel deal with all she has this week, radiation will be a piece of cake.  Her will is strong.  She’s as stubborn as the day is long. 

 I expect to be dealing with my mother in law when I’m in my 60’s and she’s in her 90’s.  You’ll see us over at the Piccadilly on Fridays after I’ve taken her to Krogah and to get her hair washed.  (That’s what Granny Boone used to call it). 

Interestingly, my new job has stirred something in me that has been there since I was about 11 and has never quite gone away.  It surfaces every so often and I talk myself out of it.  Maybe that’s why I’m where I’m at?  I don’t know.  Stay tuned….

Again…thank you to everybody who has prayed a prayer, thought a good thought, or whatever.  I have hospital duty tonight.  I’ll tell her how wonderful all the blog readers have been.  It will mean a lot to her.

What In The World Is A Mugwump?

Do enjoy this priceless clip of June Carter and her then husband, Carl Smith, circa 1955. They were quite cute. Carl is still cute at 80.

Bits of Wednesday

Amazing how when one actually USES the Nasonex….it works.

Hazel is about the same today.  Poor thing is so worn out.  She wants that nose tube out so bad.  It’s driving her nuts.  Y’all keep praying for her. 

Three dear people in our lives have birthdays today…Nephew Smiff is 23 years old….Uncle Bobo is I don’t know how old…and my Shishter is ageless. 

I think Mr. Smiff will be making a special appearance at the Sportsman’s Grille tomorrow evening.

Busy Mom is a peach among peaches.  I ain’t telling you why, but, just know behind her wonderful, intelligent blog, she’s a great person and I’m glad I can say she’s my friend.