Archive for April, 2007

Found ‘Em

I’m at lunch, Stacy Campfield, so there.

I’m tickled to report that I figured out where to get my shot record and official GED test scores.  Yay.  Incase it ever comes up, go to who gave you your shots.  I called good ol’ Dr. Lentz’s office (he retired last year) and they’re looking for them and the nice feller at the Adult Education place told me where to fax my request so there.  Wasn’t so complicated after all.

Why do I want this stuff is the burning question?  I’m trying to get me some more edjumakayshan.  The fine folks at Vol State want to make sure I don’t have cooties before I commence to some book learnin.  Obviously, I don’t have smallpox or nothing.  I’m still walking around.  

I told the lady on the phone at the old doctor’s office that I know for a fact I had shots cause they always had to hold me and Gastrica both down to stick us.  It was the blood taking out of the finger that was the worst.  They’ve come a long way with that, but, remember how that mo fo used to hurt???

Gastrica and me did not like the doctor, not one bit.  One time, she jumped in the back of the station wagon, as the folks pulled into Dr. Dubisson’s office, trying to escape (like where was she going to go, out the back window?) and she cut her leg  up bad.  I think she still has the scar. 

To this day, anytime I drive in Green Hills back there behind where Cain Sloan used to be and get close to that old office, I get butterflies in my stomach.  That is no lie.  Thank goodness the practice moved across the street.  Maybe I won’t be so skeered when I go pick up my stuff.   



I wish Jerry Reed came out more often. Definitely one of the more cooler of the Nashville Cats and truly talented. If you ever see Mr. Smiff, he has a funny Jerry Reed imitation you’ll have to get him to do. 

Funny thing I remember about Jerry Reed is we went to the same church as he did back in the early 70’s.  This was many moons ago, back in the thick of his success with “When You’re Hot You’re Hot” and right before the Bandit stuff.  He wasn’t there much, but, when he was, during the singing part…he never opened his mouth.  I’ve found that lots of singer types don’t open their mouths in church.  I’ve worshipped alongside many a country singer and the only one I’ve ever seen open their mouth to sing during congregational singing is William Lee Golden.  Ok, I take that back, Sharon White Skaggs sings  in church and Ricky will too.  He doesn’t sing out really loud or nothing cause he knows that would look funny, however, as good a part singer he is, I don’t think anybody would mind.   

 The tall backup singer on the right…I do believe that is a young Ed Bruce before “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys” made him a bajillionaire and before he got his first taste of Texas.  That woman is the famous Anita Kerr. 

I love me some GIT-tar Man.

I Need To Axt You A Kwerstun

Y’all always come through when I have silly questions and I have another ‘un for you smart people:

Where in the Sam Hill could a person obtain their immunization record?  My mother says she doesn’t have it.  I really don’t care to complete my MMR series again.  The only place it could possibly be is in my baby book, which I have somewhere.  Where it is is the big question.  Do you know where my baby book is?

Another one…I took the GED in 1987.  I took it at Pearl-Cohn High School.  I have to get the official score from the testing agency.  I don’t hardly know where to begin to start finding that one.  I know some of y’all will know the answers to these burning questions.

Farrin No Mo’

Attention ladies and gentlemen…

The DQ is no longer in possession of a farrin object in her eye.  The fabulous and wonderful Dr. Steve Johnson (who has just got hisself some new patients in a couple Smiff Kids) sent her down to Nashville to the equally fabulous and wonderful opthamologist, Dr. Johns and with her nifty gizmos, she numbed the DQ’s eyes right on up, put dye in it and got that little, teeny piece of whatever it was out.  Amazing how something that tiny can cause such problems.   DQ noticed Dr. Johns didn’t get the orange dye all over her eye, making it look like she had drawn on herself with orange magic marker, thus making the other child patrons in the waiting room stare in awe.  I reminded her that Dr. Johns does nothing but eyes whilst Dr. Johnson deals with a little of everything with the various chilluns in his practice. 

Anyway, I’m glad the farrin object is gone.

Hazel continues to improve.  She gave the DQ a necklace today that she said she was going to wait and give her when she dies.  It’s a lovely, gold chain.  The DQ texted me to tell me about getting it.  I texted back that that was very sweet.  She replied “Yeah, it was, but, it would’ve been a whole lot sweeter had she not had a towel on when she gave it to me.”  Heh. She is so her mother’s daughter. 

The King is Coming

I haven’t been watching American Idol much since early on cause, well, it just got boring to me. 

We happened to have it on there for a minute last night and I tell ya what, Celine and Elvis gave me the shivahs.  Fantastic.  So much so, I downloaded that sucker on the ol’ Ipod.  I love that song anyway. 

It all makes me wish the Kang were still around cause I think stuff like AI is something he would love. 

Go Charlie, Go!

I love Charlie. I love his posts about the way life in Nashville used to be when it was not much more than a small town.  His perspective is wonderful and his storytelling abilities are the best.

Charlie had a “Grand Opening” on the same day as Hazel’s surgery.  That could be why I missed seeing anything on it, but, here it is, not even two weeks post-op and he’s posted on his great blog.  Go give him a pat on the back, but, easy, he’s just been operated on.

How Was Your Day, Dear?

I feel so disconnected with the Blog World.  I miss getting to blog all day and read everybody else’s blogs.  I’m going to have to get on that Google Reader so I can keep up.  Don’t leave me, dear Readers.  I will never leave you, nor forsake you….who said that?  Oh yeah…the Good Lord  Himself.  Heh.  

Things just get calmed down with Hazel (who, by the way, is on her way back to normal cause she called Mr. Smiff this morning and when I went to see her at lunch, she was at the table doing the Sodoku puzzle) when something else nutty goes on. 

The Drama Queen started complaining of her eye hurting Sunday evening.  Yeah, yeah, another excuse to get out of school.  It was red and looked like Pink Eye.  It got a little worse and then yesterday evening, I took her over to the Minute Clinic.  They said it looked like PE and gave her some drops. 

Well, this morning, she calls me about 10:00, crying, saying her eye was really red and swollen and hurt like hayell.  (She didn’t say that).  I called our regular doc and wouldn’t ya know, they only work half a day on Wednesdays (they knew I would be calling). 

I called a local pediatrician’s office that a lot of people we know take their kids to and got in this afternoon. We only had to wait a scant 30 minutes and good lord, there were lots of screaming, squealing toddlerish types in there.  That was the hottest place in town to be today, apparently.

I saw this ol gal I recognized from a couple years ago at the YMCA there with her pack of younguns.  I don’t know her name, but, I remember her so well cause one night as I was on the treadmill, she starts yackin.  I mean, before I went home, I knew her entire history….her husband was riding her tail cause he thought she was fat (she wasn’t) and she told me she was OCD.   She went on and on about her OCDness and I thought she was full of it UNTIL I saw her at the Y swimming pool later that summer. 

Unfat Girl was not kidding that she was OCD.  She had all her kids shoes lined up under the chair starting from biggest to smallest…all in a row.  Today, she was just a’messin’ with some sort of list that looked like that crap Russell Crow was scribbling in A Beautiful Mind.   

So anyway, back to DQ’s eye.  The doc looks in her eye and wasn’t able to tell right off what was going on so he puts this numbing stuff in her eye, then some orange drops and comes in, turns the light off and shines a purple light in her eye.  I should’ve taken a picture.  It looked like something out of a horror movie.

He could see a tiny little speck in her eye, but, he couldn’t tell if it was a scratch on the cornea or a foreign object.  So, I get to take her back in the morning (Did I mention Mr. Smiff was on the road today and will be tomorrow as well?  I love this part about working full time with a road hog of a huzbin.) and if it’s a foreign object, I’ll have to haul her to an opthamologist to get said potential farrin object out. 

Oh, and did I mention that my insurance doesn’t kick in until May 1?  Oh, and that if that eye starts hurting her tonight really bad, I am to bypass any local ER and take her straight to the Vanderbilt ER?  Have I mentioned to y’all that I’m sick and tarred of Vanderbilt Hospital?

A good point of the day was when my one boss gave me this gorgeous, little flower arrangement and plopped a sausage biscuit on my desk from McDonalds first thing this morning.  I thought that was some kinda sweet, specially since I’m new and all.  My other girl I work for, Carol Ann, who is so much like Newscoma, it’s scary was all upset cause she forgot it was Administrative Professionals Day.  She signed the card Valerie gave me, but, she was all feeling bad about herself.  Everytime she saw me today, she’d hang her head in shame.  She kept apologizing for giving me a little job to do first thing this morning.  “Hello?  This is my job” I told her.  Still, I dig having a boss that doesn’t throw crap at me or stand over me while I work.  (I had a boss who used to do that and that same boss would print out every single email she sent and put it in our chair.  It was insane)  The Gentleman Formerly Known As My Boss, however, is still a hard one to beat for coolness.   I think he will be glad to know I have good bosses though….right GFKAMB????

Then, my direct supervisor comes to me and says “I need to see you at 10:00 in Conference Room B.”  My heart sank cause I thought for sure I had made a terrible faux pas of some sort and it was so bad, she had reserved a conference room to tell me I was axed or something. 

I stood at the fax machine trembling imaging Phil Bredesen showing up to give me my walking papers.  I could just see Gov. Phil shaking his head at me.  I pictured John Wilder shaking his finger in disgust at me.  I even thought Stacey Campfield might show up to go “Neener neener neener….I busted you!”  Then, I remembered I haven’t been blogging on taxpayer time.  Not since a week or so ago anyway.   Then, I hear the Boss Lady tell another person the same thing she told me.  Whew. 

That little stinker gathered all of us Support Folk to tell us how awesome we are and all this.  She gave us gift cards to Olive Garden.  Not bad for a new girl.  Take that, Campfield!