This Is Wrong

Hey Mister…yes you.  The guy who was on the treadmill next to me at the Y about an hour ago.  You ran 5+ miles while I was on the Elliptical/StairStepper/New sorta contraption that I really like….

Anyway, you looked the kinda guy that was probably raised right.  You probably have a good job.  I imagine when you’re dressed and ready for Sunday School and all, you probably clean up good. 

Why in the HELL did you walk away from the treadmill and not spray the stuff and wipe it down? What’s the matter with you? 

I thought for sure you went to find a cloth and would come back and wipe it off but you di-int. 

That is wrong.

This unsuspecting lady came up a little bit later to get on the treadmill after you left and I warned her of the Gross Guy That Was On Before.  She thanked me profusely.

I will remember you next time I see you cause of the weird way you hold your hands when you run.

You should know better.

FGF-Cornbread and Butterbeans

Friday again?  That means we have to feel good.  Oh kids….you are gonna feel good after this.

I am in love.  Don’t get all excited now.  There’s not a new feller in my world or nothing like that.  But I have done gone and fallen in love with the Carolina Chocolate Drops.  I’ve been hearing of them here and there for awhile and somehow, haven’t seen them or heard them…until this week.  I am obsessed. 

Bet you haven’t heard any good kazoo playing in awhile, have you?  Have you ever heard any good kazoo playing?  Well, you’re a’fittin to:

How fun is that??? I think you need some Cornbread and Butterbeans to go with your Memphis Shakedown.

I Think They Miss Me

Late yesterday afternoon, there was a knock on my door.  I was thinking that maybe it was the X with #2.   Tara was coming over to my Cross-The-Way-Neighbor’s to do something and I figured he was bringing the boy by. 

I opened the door and it was Tara.  She has been sickly the last couple days with the Crud but even so, she looked so cute.  She had on one of her signature Hoodies and this cute hat I’d never seen her wear before.  She had this little smile on her face that I haven’t seen in awhile. 

It is well documented that I am as nutty as a Snickers and I’m sure she would deny it but there was something in her smile that said she was glad to see me and maybe she thought for a second about hugging me like she used to do when she was a little thing and she was so attached to me. (Tara, if you’re reading this, just let me dream, ok?)

Then, later last night, I took Tara back to her Dad’s.  Drove in the driveway and #2 was jumping on the trampoline.  (#2 during his Trampoline Jumps is one of the funnest things in the world to watch)  I walked over to the trampoline and hugged him around his legs.  He said “Mom…you’re suffocating my legs.”  Heh.

Went inside to say hi to the Manchild.  He was sitting at the computer, holding his guitar…he was sickly with the Crud last week so I was glad to see him sitting upright.  Everytime I saw him last week, he was lying prostrate making horrendous nasal/bronchial sounds. 

I went back outside to leave and #2 was still jumping on the rampoline.  He had the EXACT same little grin on his face that his sister had earlier when she appeared at my door.  The exact same one!

I said “#2…you are glad to see me aren’t ya?”  He was trying  not to bust into a huge smile because he is 10 and is trying really hard to not be My Baby Boy anymore.  I told him Tara was glad to see me eariler and he asked “What about Tyler?”  I said “Well, I’m sure he was thrilled on the inside but he never turned around and looked at me.”
This made #2 laugh and it did me.

It made me warm and fuzzy.

Babies and Psychos

I am so disturbed by this story that that crazy nutjob girl in California who has all those kids has been offered to star in a porn movie.  To the tune of one million dollahs. 

I have to let that fall on me for a moment…..falling….falling…..falling…..

It just won’t settle on me. 

I’m counting the days until DCS swoops in mercifully and takes those kids away from her.  The hospital is already saying they aren’t so sure the tots should go to that house. 

I don’t know, y’all.  I just don’t know.  

I am not a psychiatrist but I can tell by that ol’ girl’s eyes that her elevator does not go all the way to the top.

Oh and look….she has a website!  Maranatha!

Speaking of crazy, while y’all were watching people standing up and sitting down over and over while the President spoke last night, I was watching such upscale viewing like the show on TLC about those psychos nice folks in Arkansas that can’t stop procreating.  I don’t watch them regularly but every once in awhile I have to catch up with all the goings on at the Duggars.

Their son is engaged.  He and his Intended are a cute little couple but they have not even kissed.  Because, you know, kissing leads to naughty parts tingling and we can’t have that.  They kept talking to this horny boy and he was saying over and over how it’s the “Right Thing” for him and his little lady to wait til their wedding day to kiss.  Like he’s trying to convince himself of this.

Then Maw Duggar and Paw Duggar (talk about HORNY) are saying that they want their kids to avoid the pitfalls and stuff that dating can bring.  In fact, Michelle had boyfriends BEFORE the illustrious Jim Bob.  Jim Bob went on to say that Mrs. D. had a lot of  “baggage” from that. 

What kind of baggage???  I want to know. 

I did think it was sweet that Michelle was caring so sweetly for her very ill father in law but there was part of me that feared when the cameras were off, she turned into Kathy Bates in Misery.

The best part though was Jim Bob and Michelle in San Francisco in Haight Ashbury,  looking at bongs.  That is great television.

I miss the days when we had NORMAL crazy people on tv.  Like Susan Powter. 

B-O-R-E-D

While I wait for the final confirmation of whether I am officially hired (assuming no illicit drugs show up in my test, ya know) I don’t ever remember being as bored as I am now.

Because of the whole “Unemployment” status, I can’t be running around lunching, shopping and what-not everyday. All my friends are employed during the day. I’m not one of those School Moms that can be of any use to the school other than to maybe monitor the cafeteria and pass out napkins. (#2’s school has people who do this. It makes me laugh. I don’t know why. Nothing wrong with actually doing that but anyway…)

Daytime television is as horrid as ever. I don’t watch soaps. I catch a few minutes of one here and there but it’s not because of my being sucked into the story but seeing people like Tad on All My Children and being amazed at how he doesn’t look like the Tad of my youth. Then, I’m reminded that was like 1982 when I watched that show. Holy. Crap.

My house is clean. Ok. except for that need-to-clean-the-fridge thing. I’m gonna do that here in a minute.

Chris had sent me a link to a funny blog the other day and I realized that I’m kinda behind on funny blogs.

So, Internets, help me here….direct me to some blogs that I don’t know of that will make me  laugh out loud.  I haven’t been up on lotsa blogs other than my regular ones so while I’m cleaning the refrigerator…post some blog addresses in the comments section, would ya?

Help a bored girl out.

If this thing doesn’t pan out, I am so serious that Golden Arches may be in my future.  I was not cut out for this!

Lovin’ The Louvins

After that startling revelation yesterday about the state of Kenny Chesney’s bald head, I figured a Tuesday with a little bit of Louvin wouldn’t hurt nobody’s feelings any.  

Not a ton of live, Louvin Brothers footage out there, which is quite sad.  The good news is that the influence of the Louvins is something that I’m not sure can be adequately measured.  Case in point, our favorite Emmylou would probably not be in country music had it not been for that little mix tape Gram Parsons made for her that had some Louvins on it.  Pretty mind-blowing, isn’t it?

This footage of Charlie, Emmy and Vern Gosdin is from “Nashville Now” in about 1987. I remember watching this live and I “taped” it on the VCR (that sounds almost primitive to say, doesn’t it?) and I musta watched this of them singing “Love and Wealth” a billion times.

Interesting thing about the Louvins is that they  came from the same little area in Alabama that produced Vestal Goodman and some of the guys in Alabama. Must be something in the water down there around Sand Mountain that could produce the vocal power of an Ira Louvin and Vestal Goodman, ya know? (Ironically, Vern and Emmylou were both born in Alabama)

Ol’ Charlie’s still at it at the ripe, young age of 81.  He’s not known for his exactly “sunny” disposition.  He insulted me good one time backstage at the Opry and I didn’t know what hit me. I was a young newlywed and was totally mortified.  I don’t guess he MEANT to humiliate me like that….oh, sure he did!  HAR

I had a tshirt that had this wonderful album cover photo on it.  I only wore it once because I got strange looks from people who musta thought I was a Satan worshipper or something.  I believe the tshirt is safely housed at the X’s house and is worn by him.  I actually had this album, or my Dad had it in his collection.  I may still have it…not sure.

 

I’ve been on a major Louving kick on the Ipod lately….not much better listening than this.

Phone The Neighbors, Wake The Kids…

It must be a really slow newsday today.  Why?  Because Channel 4’s TOP newstory this afternoon is the breaking story that Kenny Chesney is comfortable with being bald. 

Well, praise the Lord and pass the Afro Sheen.  I’m sure the billionty other bald fellers will feel a WHOLE lot better about themselves now since Kenny’s ok with it.

I happen to think bald is very hot.  I do not, however, think Kenny Chesney is hot.

Oscar Babblings

People from India are not Americans, but, I suppose they are natives of some sort.  The question is, is it “proper” to call them “Indians?”  Or will the PC Poo-leece come after me?   (Not that I care but you know…)

My boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel brought up a really good point last night on his Post-Oscar broadcast…they brought those kids that were in Slumdog Millionaire to Hollywood for the ceremony but can you imagine how hard it will be for them to return after that????

I love Hugh Jackman.

I wanted Mickey Rourke to win.

Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Doo Rag should’ve disqualified him for even being nominated. 

Oh and speaking of PSH, I’m not gonna point fingers but did notice on one of our local news channels (:cough: WKRN:cough:) they were running graphics on nominees and they spelled “Seymour” wrong.  Don’t mean to split hairs but if you’re gonna do a job like that, it might behoove one to do the homework?  Or am I just being silly?

I was a bit comforted to see Sean Penn whip out his “cheaters” to read his speech cause anymore, I can’t read nothing without mine.   He’s older than me, yes, but,  it made the whole Cheater thing ok to see Jeff Spicoli needing some help reading.

Sophia Loren and Shirley MacLaine make Senior Citizenry not look all that bad.n  And Meryl Streep too.  Dadgum.

The In Memoriam segment was kinda lame.  It lacked the “awwww” factor because of the way they timed the clips and photos. They should’ve asked me to do the Power Point on that.  Gah.

 

Discuss.

RIP-Socks

Socks the cat has done gone to Glow-ry.

They say Socks was about 19 or 20 years old.  That’s a lotta lives.  I can’t believe the Clinton’s didn’t take Socks with them to New York.  They took Buddy.  What’s up with that?

Socks looks a lot like my former cat, Crystal (whom I apparently miss so bad that yesterday when I was at the house. I called her “Emily”, which is the other cat’s name.  That’s insane, isn’t it?)

Gimme A G, A Bouncy G

It’s Friday so let’s get our Feel Good on, shall we?

Today’s entry is about 8 minutes long, however, if you don’t have 8 minutes, skip over to the 5:41 mark and just soak up the goodness of an audience member from Carol Burnett’s show singing (quite well). This is fo’ real entertainment.

An Anniversary

It dawned on me a little bit ago that it has been 17 years today since I last saw my father. 

I had turned 23 the week before he died.  At that point, he was at home with Hospice care and he was sorta in another place.  He was totally conscious but I guess when you get to that point in a terminal illness, you just go somewhere else, ya know?   He didn’t talk much.  He was pretty much existing.   I didn’t think about it a lot at the time because I was so occupied with a brand new baby and all that goes with that, but, we were there a lot those last weeks. 

On the day of my birthday, I randomly asked Dad from where I was standing in the kitchen (he was in the den) what he was doing 23 years ago that day.  I was kinda testing him to see how “with us” he was.   He paused a minute and said “I was sitting in the waiting room at Pacific Hospital waiting for you to be born.”   Heh. 

I miss him more every year.  I’m grateful I had him as long as I did because medically, he was not supposed to live as long as he did.  He was not supposed to walk me down the aisle or see me with a kid, but, he did.  I wish he could’ve seen all 5 of his grandkids.  I wish he could see his kids in their 40’s (???).  

I’ve had numerous occasions just in the last few months alone, of people that knew Dad finding this blog, emailing me and sharing memories of him.  I love it when somebody remembers him.  Don’t ever be afraid to mention someones deceased loved one out of fear of making them sad.  Remembering keeps them alive…

Losing him so early in my adulthood was one of THE most pivotal, life-changing events of my life.  The loss was more than I can put into words and I still feel it on a daily basis.  My faith would not be what it is today had I not had that loss.  No question.  I had to look towards the Mack Daddy of Them All, my heavenly Father.  Because of my faith, I have no doubt where my Dad is today and that one of these days I’m gonna bump into him again. 

I envy all of you who still have your fathers.  I know lots of father/child relationships can be quite complex and not everybody had quite as open and affectionate of a father as I did, but, even if you don’t see eye to eye with your old man or are uncomfortable talking to him or whatever….call him today.  Do it for me.

The One Where I Get All Slap Happy

I don’t know what my problem is but for the last twelve hours I have been in total and complete Giggle Box mode.  

 First, my friend, Mike was telling me some HYSTERICAL stories last night via the Facebook, I mean just one after the other.  I wish I could tell them to ya, but, I’m not at liberty to but oh lord have mercy….he needs to write a book. Only in Nashville can certain things happen. 

Then. this morning, my boyfriend  Chris Cuomo was making me laugh  talking about the upcoming Universal Phone Charger.  It really wasn’t that funny, but, in the context of being half asleep and half awake, you know how you hear some things and they just hit you funny?  Like that time I was awake in the middle of the night watching the episode of Friends where Rachel’s boyfriend and his sister acted more like boyfriend and girlfriend than siblings…for some reason, it made me laugh uncontrollably.  I couldn’t stop laughing and the Children’s Father woke up, aggravated and said “Is it REALLY THAT funny?”  HA.

And then, as if my Giggler needed to be cut up a notch, they were running that story on the monkey that ripped that woman’s face off.  Now, that is not funny.  It is terrible that that poor woman went to try to help her friend and the dang monkey didn’t recognize her because she cut her hair and he went all apeshit on her (sorry….couldn’t hep it)

Yet, it is funny. Why?  Because monkeys are wild animals and not frickin’ people. 

I can’t stop laughing when they run the story and tell the thing about the monkey getting mad cause he wanted to go for a ride.  And giving the monkey TEA AND XANAX.  And the dang monkey drinking WINE out of a goblet!

CLC left a post on his Facebook about how “a 200lb chimp and crazy lady owner is a bad idea” and our good friend the Freaky Weasel replied with this and it near ’bout sent me over the edge…

You and your crazy beliefs. The monkey dressed itself & surfed the net. Hand eating aside, that’s crazy awesome.

Yes, I know I reeeeally need to get outta the house.

Whaddup?

I don’t know for 100% sure yet, but, I think my Unemployment Season will soon be ending. That is, if I can pass that dang drug test and if nothing “shady” pops up on my background check.

Ironic that Amber was talking about things like background checks the other day and I don’t remember ever going to work for a company and it being like this.  I guess it’s just the times we live in and all but I was even more amazed that there were a few people in this thing with me who had concerns of things showing up on their background checks.

This one young girl turned to me and said “My charge was dismissed.  Do you think that will be on there?” (Her asking the girl who was afraid to even think about attending a Kegger in high school for fear that I would be sent directly to jail for the mere thought)  I told her she’d better ask the HR lady and sho nuff…they said if there’s anything in the background, mention it or they’ll accuse you of lying and stuff.

It’s also interesting to me that the last job I got after a “Lay Off Season” was obtained through the suggestion and encouragement of another blogger and this upcoming gig sorta kinda came through one of my blogging friends.  Yeah, this little spot on the Internets has been more than just a place for me to ramble.  Amazing. (I will divulge who my blogging sorta/kinda co-worker will be later so stay tuned)

Let’s see…what else is going on…..I’m bored. Bored outta my mind.  I know I will look back on this season and be glad that I had a LOT of Solitude.  That I haven’t had the stress of getting to work everyday but have been able to really have some serious “Me” time even though I would’ve never chosen it to be like this.  I wasn’t planning on as much quiet as I’ve had at all, it’s just kinda worked out that way.  It’s positive all around and I know it won’t always be this way.  

I have moments that I feel like I’m gonna turn into Tom Hanks in Castaway and start talking to a soccer ball.  I have come to realize that as introverted as I can be, I have a side of me that really longs for and needs other people to play off of.  Matt was talking about this the other day….I don’t think we were meant to do life alone.  That’s not saying I think I need a man or anything like that.  I went a lot of years without having people close to me, other than family. 

  I can’t really say how grateful I am for my friends.  The last time I was divorced, I didn’t have this kind of support network that I have now.  It was just different.  Can’t really explain it other than maybe I’m the one who is different now than I was in 2000.  I’m sure that’s a big part of it.  I know I am a lot more open and although I still have the tendencies to bury myself in my protective shell, I am re-learning how to be a friend as well as how to have them.  That’s huge for me. 

WARNING: VAGUE ALERT!

Matt was also correct when he was talking a few weeks ago in his sermon about letting go of certain things so God can bless us in other ways.  I’m finding that to be so.  Hasn’t been an easy thing to let go of and I’ve done so rather reluctantly…ok, kicking and screaming. Still, it’s OK.

I Know You Are But What Am I

I think I know who mighta stolen Lance Armstrong’s bike…

Blown Away

So I was looking for some more pictures of the WSM Radio tower. (Guess why?) I stumbled across the website of a guy I went to elementary, junior high and part of high school with. We were in the same 5th grade class, actually.

Anyway….nobody told me Eric Shiveley became a brilliant singer/songwriter/filmmaker. HELLO???

I can’t remember the last time I heard music that blew me away. It’s been a LONG time. I am not easily impressed musically. Yeah, I’m a music snob. I admit this. I woulda been blowed away even if I didn’t know Eric way back in the olden days. Just listen/watch.